Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

jackieb

savingmummy wrote: »

I did wonder too!

And any sickness etc? i wondered this she must of had some sickness although i know some women are lucky enough to not suffer any symptoms at all!

I was a nightmare at 15 my hormones were ridiculous:rotfl:throw pregnancy in the mix :eek: LOL!

I didn't find out until much later that my mum had been very worried about me - and that finding out it was a pregnancy was a relief! A relative had died of kidney cancer at a young age and my mum got it in her head that I had something like this. I went to the doctor once and had to hand in a urine sample. I was so scared of anyone finding out that when I was babysitting that week I got the 4yo to pee in his little sister's potty, and I bottled that and handed that in. :eek: The results came back that 'I' had a urine infection! I couldn't tell the boy's mum because she would have wondered how I knew. I got antibiotics, and had to take another sample back afterwards. For that, I got his sister to pee in the potty and handed that in to the doctor's surgery. Fortunately she didn't have any infection.

I'm ashamed to say that's how devious I was to stop people finding out about my pregnancy.

Oldernotwiser

taxi36 wrote: »

About as much as your !!!!!iness and down right sarcastic responses bring to any of the threads you post on?

You are vile.

I have reported this to Abuse.

Despite this being a somewhat controversial thread it's generally been good natured, if heated at times.

Personal abuse is out of place.

taxi36

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I have reported this to Abuse.

Despite this being a somewhat controversial thread it's generally been good natured, if heated at times.

Personal abuse is out of place.

Abuse? Oh my word you are easily offended arent you?

What is so abusive about the post Oldernotwiser? Tell me , is it more abusive than you have been?

You really need to get your facts straight before you go running telling tales lol

fairydiamond

Poppy, is your daughter any closer to a decision today?

Kimberley

Shame that this mother cannot talk to others on here without some spoiling it by judging her and her daughter. I'm pleased the majority on here are supporting and helping her. I wish you and your daughter all the best Poppy and whatever your girl decides she will get through this with your love and thats all that matters.

Fire_Fox

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

I know where you're coming from, but I do think people have different perspectives and that times change rapidly. My parents (& me as a teenager) would have felt that way about being pregnant at 15, and as they are both 60, perhaps you are nearer their age than mine.

Interestingly, I don't think being pregnant at 15 is a major disaster, although it could upset the Oxbridge plans. I'm joking, high expectations aside, but it happens.

If you're counting drug & alcohol addiction, anorexia, criminal behaviour, abusive relationships and depression, amongst others, as illness, then I agree with you.

A happy, possibly bright, balanced person that accidentally falls pregnant (especially in a loving relationship) and goes on to achieve their dreams wouldn't be a disaster, in my opinion, compared to the hoards of young people who lose interest in life, give up, don't fulfill their potential, academic or otherwise, etc. I mean those succumbed to apathy, not suicidal. Although again, maybe one could define them as having an illness?

ETA: my parents got together at 15. They are now 60 and a role model for the happily married.

Eating disorders, addiction and and mood disorders (inc. depression) are indeed diagnosable medical conditions. Lack of motivation and anhedonia are symptoms not illnesses. The majority of the time not fulfilling one's potential is far more of a tragedy to parents and middle class Guardian readers than it is to the young person themselves. Like many on this thread, you are mentally comparing the worst possible outcome of one scenario with the best possible outcome of another. It's nonsensical to admit times change rapidly and then hold up a relationship that started in 1965 as a shining example!

"Why does teenage pregnancy matter? It is associated with the most socially deprived and excluded young people ...

The consequences can be:
• Increased risk of infant mortality (60% higher)
• Poor health outcomes for them and their children
• Limited educational opportunities
• Poor career prospects
• 22% more likely to be living in poverty than mothers giving birth after 24
• Less likely to be employed
• 3 times more likely to suffer from post natal depression
• 3 times more likely to smoke throughout pregnancy
• 50% less likely to breastfeed
• children 63% more likely to be born into poverty

"During the period 2004-6, 1 in every 12 teenage girls in Tong had a baby that was conceived under the age of 18 years ... The NEET [not in education, employment or training] for teenage mothers is 41% compared to 9% for all females in Bradford." Reference

Even those teenage mothers who are in education or training are probably only aiming for a level 2 qualification since Tong High School's GCSE success rate (5x grades A-C) is just 15%. I am not suggesting the OP's daughter will end up like this, but let's not romanticise teenage pregnancy. The NHS and local government are targeting this because it often IS a disaster - for these girls, for the local community and for the nation as a whole.

Do bear in mind we are on the marriages, relationships and families board so many of the posters will be (relatively contented) parents. Not all women who fall pregnant want children never mind want children at that point in their life, many more are not exactly natural mothers. Many breed to appease social pressures. Yet one in five women in the UK don't have children, this rises to one in three for graduates (ONS). Many of us choose to be child-free, some to avoid being single parents, it's not all about being infertile or leaving it too late.

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I do appreciate that it's not the end of the world but most people will move on from the things you list, whereas giving birth commits you for life.

I also think that the situation would be rather different if the daughter was in a loving relationship but that doesn't seem to be the case here, even if the more imaginative scenarios are unfounded.

Having worked in in a variety of healthcare roles for twenty years I can assure you 'most' do not move on. It's rare that someone with drug or alcohol addiction has only one addiction, relapse rates are high. Most end up with a criminal record from prostitution or shoplifting or assault. Substance abuse is strongly associated with disorders of mental health. Arguably addiction is more likely to destroy personal relationships and all hope of employment than being a single mother.

The Royal College of Psychiatrists estimate only 40% of anorexics make a full recovery. Clinical depression has high comorbidity with other mental or physical health problems, and recurrence rates are as high as 90% over fifteen years. 2009 ONS stats show 39% of offenders are re-convicted, I am sure you will accept many more don't get caught or don't get convicted. And I haven't even mentioned the long term financial consequences of addiction, mental health problems and criminal behaviour.

Errata

looby75 wrote: »

it must vary from area to area then because one of dd's friends recently had a very early termination (she was 6 weeks) 100% certain of her dates (her bf is in the army and he was home on leave) but she still had to have a scan before they would let her take the first tablet.

I would guess a scan is mandatory to ensure that the feotus actually exists.

Torry_Quine

Errata wrote: »

I would guess a scan is mandatory to ensure that the feotus actually exists.

Did you really need to say that!

LittleMissMPB

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Did you really need to say that!

I think it was in reference to why a scan is needed in general, not aimed at anyone.

peachyprice

Errata wrote: »

I would guess a scan is mandatory to ensure that the feotus actually exists.

And also how many.

(again a general comment, aimed at no-one)