Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

Lunar_Eclipse

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I do appreciate that it's not the end of the world but most people will move on from the things you list, whereas giving birth commits you for life.

True.

It's funny actually, because I think being a parent is BY FAR the hardest job on the planet, yet it's hard to think of this and the longevity of it when discovering someone is pregnant.

johnswife

peachyprice wrote: »

And also how many.

(again a general comment, aimed at no-one)

Today in the birthday wishes of my local paper was happy 40th birthday to twins, boy& girl. The mother was a girl who lived next door to me, went to school together and she was 15 when she got pregnant. So it does happen. Hopefully not in this case, I don't want to give the OP anything else to worry about.

moomoomama27

I cannot believe my eyes that someone would rather a 15 yr old be a heroin addict, than pregnant! Wow!

Frugalista

Kimberley wrote: »

Shame that this mother cannot talk to others on here without some spoiling it by judging her and her daughter.

Do you think, for one minute, that she and her daughter will not be judged far more harshly in the real world?

I don't care what anyones personal stance is on teen pregnancies nor how "liberal and modern" you believe youself to be - as a pregnant 15 year old/teen mother she will be unfavourably judged.

Perhaps that is another aspect of the reality of continuing with the pregnancy that needs to be discussed?

poet123

Fire_Fox wrote: »

Eating disorders, addiction and and mood disorders (inc. depression) are indeed diagnosable medical conditions. Lack of motivation and anhedonia are symptoms not illnesses. The majority of the time not fulfilling one's potential is far more of a tragedy to parents and middle class Guardian readers than it is to the young person themselves. Like many on this thread, you are mentally comparing the worst possible outcome of one scenario with the best possible outcome of another. It's nonsensical to admit times change rapidly and then hold up a relationship that started in 1965 as a shining example!

"Why does teenage pregnancy matter? It is associated with the most socially deprived and excluded young people ...

The consequences can be:
• Increased risk of infant mortality (60% higher)
• Poor health outcomes for them and their children
• Limited educational opportunities
• Poor career prospects
• 22% more likely to be living in poverty than mothers giving birth after 24
• Less likely to be employed
• 3 times more likely to suffer from post natal depression
• 3 times more likely to smoke throughout pregnancy
• 50% less likely to breastfeed
• children 63% more likely to be born into poverty

"During the period 2004-6, 1 in every 12 teenage girls in Tong had a baby that was conceived under the age of 18 years ... The NEET [not in education, employment or training] for teenage mothers is 41% compared to 9% for all females in Bradford." Reference

Even those teenage mothers who are in education or training are probably only aiming for a level 2 qualification since Tong High School's GCSE success rate (5x grades A-C) is just 15%. I am not suggesting the OP's daughter will end up like this, but let's not romanticise teenage pregnancy. The NHS and local government are targeting this because it often IS a disaster - for these girls, for the local community and for the nation as a whole.

Do bear in mind we are on the marriages, relationships and families board so many of the posters will be (relatively contented) parents. Not all women who fall pregnant want children never mind want children at that point in their life, many more are not exactly natural mothers. Many breed to appease social pressures. Yet one in five women in the UK don't have children, this rises to one in three for graduates (ONS). Many of us choose to be child-free, some to avoid being single parents, it's not all about being infertile or leaving it too late.



Having worked in in a variety of healthcare roles for twenty years I can assure you 'most' do not move on. It's rare that someone with drug or alcohol addiction has only one addiction, relapse rates are high. Most end up with a criminal record from prostitution or shoplifting or assault. Substance abuse is strongly associated with disorders of mental health. Arguably addiction is more likely to destroy personal relationships and all hope of employment than being a single mother.

The Royal College of Psychiatrists estimate only 40% of anorexics make a full recovery. Clinical depression has high comorbidity with other mental or physical health problems, and recurrence rates are as high as 90% over fifteen years. 2009 ONS stats show 39% of offenders are re-convicted, I am sure you will accept many more don't get caught or don't get convicted. And I haven't even mentioned the long term financial consequences of addiction, mental health problems and criminal behaviour.

An interesting set of facts and stats, but what point do they support? that teen pregnancy is indeed as life affecting as any of those conditions/addictions you designate as illness? or do they support the contention that it is not, and therefore, should not be considered as "disasterous"?

Despite the detail you don't seem to have stated your pov based on your experience/research. It would be interesting to know.

viktory

taxi36 wrote: »

About as much as your !!!!!iness and down right sarcastic responses bring to any of the threads you post on?

You are vile.

I think you'll find my posts are generally considered, well received and intelligently written - especially the posts on this thread

taxi36

viktory wrote: »

I think you'll find my posts are generally considered, well received and intelligently written - especially the posts on this thread

Ever heard the phrase "self praise is no recommendation"?

Blobby8_2

Did anyone actually call for a taxi ?

Plans_all_plans

Hi Poppy OP, has any more discussion taken place today? You're in my thoughts.

Errata

poet123 wrote: »

An interesting set of facts and stats, but what point do they support? that teen pregnancy is indeed as life affecting as any of those conditions/addictions you designate as illness? or do they support the contention that it is not, and therefore, should not be considered as "disasterous"?

Despite the detail you don't seem to have stated your pov based on your experience/research. It would be interesting to know.

I found the national stat of half of teenage pregnancies ending in termination surprising. I wouldn't have guessed it was as high as that.