Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

POPPYOSCAR

I think a lot of posters seem to forget that it has only been a few days since this all came out into the open - give the poor girl time to open up to her mum further over the course of the next few days.

sassyblue

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I think a lot of posters seem to forget that it has only been a few days since this all came out into the open - give the poor girl time to open up to her mum further over the course of the next few days.

Thank God you said it Poppyoscar, l feel sorry for the OP asking for advice and having to wade through all the judgementalists wasting space on the thread.

skylight

If its any consollation, my DD told me at 16 she was PG. She is 17 now and 24wks gone.
The father has no interest in nor the child, nor does her own Dad.

I know what is best for my DD. That is not to continue with the pg. However, being 17, of course she knows best so she has decided that college and a baby will be just peachy.

It took her several weeks to tell me who the father was. Although I guessed really as she has only had one serious BF. It took me threatening her with the police, social services and a mother and baby unit as her new home - as I wasn't supporting someone in this situation who couldn't be completely honest with me about what was going on.


Disappointed?? And then some. But she is still my daughter and she needs lots of love and support.

Oldernotwiser

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

If you're counting drug & alcohol addiction, anorexia, criminal behaviour, abusive relationships and depression, amongst others, as illness, then I agree with you.

A happy, possibly bright, balanced person that accidentally falls pregnant (especially in a loving relationship)

I do appreciate that it's not the end of the world but most people will move on from the things you list, whereas giving birth commits you for life.

I also think that the situation would be rather different if the daughter was in a loving relationship but that doesn't seem to be the case here, even if the more imaginative scenarios are unfounded.

pelirocco

skylight wrote: »

If its any consollation, my DD told me at 16 she was PG. She is 17 now and 24wks gone.
The father has no interest in nor the child, nor does her own Dad.

I know what is best for my DD. That is not to continue with the pg. However, being 17, of course she knows best so she has decided that college and a baby will be just peachy.

It took her several weeks to tell me who the father was. Although I guessed really as she has only had one serious BF. It took me threatening her with the police, social services and a mother and baby unit as her new home - as I wasn't supporting someone in this situation who couldn't be completely honest with me about what was going on.


Disappointed?? And then some. But she is still my daughter and she needs lots of love and support.

Was it worth all the threats to find out his name?

edited to say , they wont be many of us who dont agree that she is probably seriously underestimating the impact this will have on her life , but at the end of the day she has to be the one to make a decision

Fly_Baby

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I think a lot of posters seem to forget that it has only been a few days since this all came out into the open - give the poor girl time to open up to her mum further over the course of the next few days.

True, but if not going ahead with pregnancy is a possible option then every day counts. As ruthless as it sounds but the earlier she makes a decision, the easier and the less invasive the procedure, the fewer potential risks, the lesser damage to her reproductive system...

skylight

pelirocco wrote: »

Was it worth all the threats to find out his name?

Yes.

I didn't really know who; it was a guess. It could have been anyone, under any circumstances and that is scary. Now I know for definate it was her BF, things were suddenly calmer.

Amanda65

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I think a lot of posters seem to forget that it has only been a few days since this all came out into the open - give the poor girl time to open up to her mum further over the course of the next few days.

I do agree that this is all very new to the OP, but like it or not the quicker a decision is made (particularly if the decision is not to continue with the pregnancy) the better for everyone concerned, not least the OP's DD. I also think that once a definite decision has been taken, everyone can then sit back and decide how best to move forward.

The problem with posting for advice on a public forum is that we all come from different backgrounds, generations, life situations and beliefs and part of accepting that you will get some very valuable and sensible advice is accepting that there will also be people who flame you down - part of the territory. I am sure if the OP wants to take some time out she will say so and ask people to stop commenting.

Pollycat

melancholly wrote: »

in reality, do you think the OP won't be thinking of all possible options without this thread?

i think it's time the OP's daughter started to act like an adult and tell the truth or at least something to her mother. she's had at least an extra month on her parents to come to terms with this. i feel for her, i really do, but she needs to show at least some consideration of the effect of her current behaviour on her parents. i find it incredibly frustrating that she's clamming up and not talking and not being honest, in the face of a pretty damn good reaction from both parents (a lot of teenagers would face a different reaction).

Of course she will be thinking of all the options - but some of the posts must seem to the OP that she's being hit on the head by a sledgehammer.

peachyprice wrote: »

If OP hadn't have wanted opinions on who the father may be she wouldn't have said that she is worried about it.

Quite possibly, but I bet that when she first started this thread she never expected that some posters would keep banging on about what might have happened to her daughter.

WelshBluebird

skylight wrote: »

I know what is best for my DD. That is not to continue with the pg. However, being 17, of course she knows best so she has decided that college and a baby will be just peachy.

It isn't about what is best. It is about what she wants. I am hoping to god you did not force her to have an abortion.

skylight wrote: »

It took me threatening her with the police

With what reason? She was 16. There is nothing the police could, or would, do. As much as it dissapoints some parents, you cannot stop your children from having sex and if they are over the age of consent, then I really don't see what business you have threatening her with the police.

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I think a lot of posters seem to forget that it has only been a few days since this all came out into the open - give the poor girl time to open up to her mum further over the course of the next few days.

Definatly agree with this