Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

Craftyscholar

Beki88 wrote: »

And I totally get what you mean by "she has had a month to think about it but I think in a way she didn't, she tried to not think about it." She obviously was in such disbelief, especially that she did 3 tests! She probably spent most of the time thinking this can't have happened to me, as opposed to "what do I do about it".

LEJC wrote: »

Your daughter will know what her desision is by now...she's had at least a month to think about nothing else probably...I suspect its a case that she wants to gauge what your reaction to her decision would be.

I agree with Beki - I doubt if she has spent a month deciding what to do - she has spent a month hoping the next test would be negative - and as long as she didn't tell anyone then it wasn't happening.

melancholly

Pollycat wrote: »

But speculation is not doing one iota of good.

Don't you think the OP is worried?
Don't you think the OP is going through all these possible scenarios in her mind?

Do you think it's doing any good for posters to keep specualting that it might be bloke x or boy y etc etc?

I don't.

in reality, do you think the OP won't be thinking of all possible options without this thread?

i think it's time the OP's daughter started to act like an adult and tell the truth or at least something to her mother. she's had at least an extra month on her parents to come to terms with this. i feel for her, i really do, but she needs to show at least some consideration of the effect of her current behaviour on her parents. i find it incredibly frustrating that she's clamming up and not talking and not being honest, in the face of a pretty damn good reaction from both parents (a lot of teenagers would face a different reaction).

Lunar_Eclipse

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

It doesn't seem to me to be "holier than thou" to believe that getting pregnant at 15 is a major disaster. Apart from death or illness, I can't think of many things that are worst.

I know where you're coming from, but I do think people have different perspectives and that times change rapidly. My parents (& me as a teenager) would have felt that way about being pregnant at 15, and as they are both 60, perhaps you are nearer their age than mine.

Interestingly, I don't think being pregnant at 15 is a major disaster, although it could upset the Oxbridge plans. I'm joking, high expectations aside, but it happens.

If you're counting drug & alcohol addiction, anorexia, criminal behaviour, abusive relationships and depression, amongst others, as illness, then I agree with you.

A happy, possibly bright, balanced person that accidentally falls pregnant (especially in a loving relationship) and goes on to achieve their dreams wouldn't be a disaster, in my opinion, compared to the hoards of young people who lose interest in life, give up, don't fulfill their potential, academic or otherwise, etc. I mean those succumbed to apathy, not suicidal. Although again, maybe one could define them as having an illness?

ETA: my parents got together at 15. They are now 60 and a role model for the happily married.

mummyroysof3

sorry but i really cant help thinking that if she cant even manage to admit to her parents what happened even just to put their mind at rest that nothing bad happened then she is really going to struggle to have the maturity to deal with not only having a baby but the difficulties that come with being a single mother and a teenage mother

peachyprice

Welshdebtor wrote: »

If she turned 16 back in Feb, so all was legal on that front. And from then to now was exactly the same, 4 weeks delay in telling mum, being 14 weeks pregnant and not giving details of the father etc. Would some of you still been so vocal with your "He must be older, call the police, etc"?

Yes, without a shadow of a doubt.

Not that I think anyone should call the police ATM at all, but there are circumstances that OP needs to ascertain.

IMO, this has nothing to do with the age of the girl, but the circumstances in which it happened. If this were a 15yo that had a serious boyfriend or even a boyfriend at all, or one who was out of the house wandering the streets all the time, or one who went to youth clubs etc etc the need to know who the father is would not be so urgent for the OP. However, because this girl, as far as the mother knows, has not been in a position with boys to get pregnant in the first place, and her reaction to the question it's a concern and would be a concern for the parent of a girl of any age.

peachyprice

Pollycat wrote: »

But speculation is not doing one iota of good.

Don't you think the OP is worried?
Don't you think the OP is going through all these possible scenarios in her mind?

Do you think it's doing any good for posters to keep specualting that it might be bloke x or boy y etc etc?

I don't.

If OP hadn't have wanted opinions on who the father may be she wouldn't have said that she is worried about it.

carolan78

Welshdebtor wrote: »

If she turned 16 back in Feb, so all was legal on that front. And from then to now was exactly the same, 4 weeks delay in telling mum, being 14 weeks pregnant and not giving details of the father etc. Would some of you still been so vocal with your "He must be older, call the police, etc"?

Not aimed at anyone in particular, just a general question seeing as this girl will be 16 in less than 12 months time.

I am aware that a 15 yr old is underage, where as a 16 yr old is not, so I am not looking for points related to the age of consent. Just interested, if you are voicing the concerns over the father/her reluctance to give details because of her age, or would you still be towing the "Get to the bottom of this etc" line if she was 16, 23, or 30?

Even if she was 16 I would want to know who the father was and although I wouldn't want too much detail I would still want to know how she met him and when/where they used to meet for sex.

The father is probably someone around her same age and it's more than likely the result of a fumble of sorts BUT as a mother until I knew at least some details I would not be able to settle. I wouldn't be able to shake the thought of someone taking advantage of my baby even if she didn't think they had. As a much older man could quite easily do 15/16 year old girls are easily impressionable. I speak from experience my first real boyfriend was 8 years my senior when I was 16. He could have told me the grass was purple and I would have gone along with it.

pelirocco

Craftyscholar wrote: »

I agree with Beki - I doubt if she has spent a month deciding what to do - she has spent a month hoping the next test would be negative - and as long as she didn't tell anyone then it wasn't happening.

I had one of those pregnancies;) , and i was 29 and married

Its very easy to convince yourself you arent pregnant tbh

gizmo111

Maybe she's just waiting for her dad to come and see her at the weekend and they can talk things through and make plans as a family all supporting each other - nothing sinister or deceitful about that.
Mind you by then this thread will be 100 pages long and the pope will be in the frame as the baby's father.:eek:

peachyprice

gizmo111 wrote: »

Maybe she's just waiting for her dad to come and see her at the weekend and they can talk things through

Actually, there may be something in this.

Perhaps she wants to see how angry her dad is before she reveals who the father is. Maybe she's frightened he will go storming round the boys house if they find out now before she has had a chance to talk to him in person.