Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

Errata

With respect, little notes to and fro about a life changing decision are not appropriate and only serve to demonstrate a lack of communication skill.
I hope for the girl's sake she can have a conversation to help her arrive at a decision with someone who is unbiased, unemotionally involved and without a conscious or subconscious personal agenda. The OP has details of a local support service for young pregnant teenagers. It would be sensible for the girl to take advantage of it.

pelirocco

savingmummy wrote: »

Thats not how the nhs do it in south east it is under general and it is performed straightaway whether it be 6-20weeks+

If thats how its done , it will be a blessing ..imagine how difficult it would be otherwise.

Stephb1986_2

She won't be the first 15 year old to get pregnant and she certainly won't be the last!

Steph xx

glitter03

Errata wrote: »

With respect, little notes to and fro about a life changing decision are not appropriate and only serve to demonstrate a lack of communication skill.
I hope for the girl's sake she can have a conversation to help her arrive at a decision with someone who is unbiased, unemotionally involved and without a conscious or subconscious personal agenda. The OP has details of a local support service for young pregnant teenagers. It would be sensible for the girl to take advantage of it.

I agree, and although it is not an ideal method it could serve to get the ball rolling. If the girl can at least express via any methods what she wants or intends to do then it may make future conversations easier.

She may be struggling with saying the intial decision such as 'i want to keep the baby' or 'i want to have a termination'. It could just be vocalising the actual decision she is having trouble with through fear.

As a 15 year old girl it is understandable to some degree that she would have a lack of communication skills as i presume she has never had to have any really serious conversations prior to this!

However, i do agree some outside support at this stage is needed as time will keep moving and pretty soon she won't have the choice to make.

Beki88

Welshdebtor wrote: »

That sounds absolutely mad............................but could work. You can not shrug your shoulders etc via msn (unless on webcam lol just thought of that)

It worked for me and my partner when we were having problems. I hated the thought of not speaking ot him properly but it really did help! We could say whatever without actually having to see the look on the other persons face which is something that would have made us stay quiet.

As for people saying they don't believe she didn't tell her friends, I didn't tell any of mine at first! I was too scared of what they would think. I was the smart girl and all I could think is they would think I was so stupid and fall out with me and part of me just wanted to be that little bit normal. I didn't tell them till I was about 10 weeks but only then because I was very sick during the pregnancy!

And I totally get what you mean by "she has had a month to think about it but I think in a way she didn't, she tried to not think about it." She obviously was in such disbelief, especially that she did 3 tests! She probably spent most of the time thinking this can't have happened to me, as opposed to "what do I do about it".

glitter03

Welshdebtor wrote: »

That sounds absolutely mad............................but could work. You can not shrug your shoulders etc via msn (unless on webcam lol just thought of that)

Yeah, i would not advise to have the webcam on

Welshdebtor

If she turned 16 back in Feb, so all was legal on that front. And from then to now was exactly the same, 4 weeks delay in telling mum, being 14 weeks pregnant and not giving details of the father etc. Would some of you still been so vocal with your "He must be older, call the police, etc"?

Not aimed at anyone in particular, just a general question seeing as this girl will be 16 in less than 12 months time.

I am aware that a 15 yr old is underage, where as a 16 yr old is not, so I am not looking for points related to the age of consent. Just interested, if you are voicing the concerns over the father/her reluctance to give details because of her age, or would you still be towing the "Get to the bottom of this etc" line if she was 16, 23, or 30?

LEJC

Your daughter will know what her decision is by now...she's had at least a month to think about nothing else probably...I suspect its a case that she wants to gauge what your reaction to her decision would be.

Please dont put off that decision as the consequences of not voicing her decision soon will have a greater impact on the choices available.

Lunar_Eclipse

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

You don't need to know where the FPC is when condoms are available free from the school nurse.

The school nurse? I think they only exist in some private schools now. Our local secondaries (& primaries) don't have a school nurse. Come to think of it, I never had a school nurse in the 70's/80's.

Pollycat

paddy's_mum wrote: »

I think many on here are worried that there might be something a lot more sinister and/or dangerous going on here than a pair of silly teenagers slipping up in the way that millions have done since the dawn of time. I believe it is that, not morbid curiosity, or rubbernecking, or fake sympathy that is compelling many to voice their hairs-on-the-back-of-the-neck concern.

But speculation is not doing one iota of good.

Don't you think the OP is worried?
Don't you think the OP is going through all these possible scenarios in her mind?

Do you think it's doing any good for posters to keep specualting that it might be bloke x or boy y etc etc?

I don't.