Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

Oldernotwiser

pigpen wrote: »

contraception and it is more by luck than education whether they know where the FPC is. I couldn't tell you where our nearest one is.. Other countries it is widely known and well advertised. it is more about the stigma of sex here than anything else which is the cause of many a pregnancy.

You don't need to know where the FPC is when condoms are available free from the school nurse.

poppyfield19

cprtknight4 wrote: »

Op I think your doing a brill job with your daughter and the circumstances.. And I hope I can be the same as you when my children are older.

I'm sure your daughter will come to a decision within time, it's a hard decision for any female, regardless of the age to decide on the future of an unplanned pregnancy.

Thank you.
She is trying to make the decision as soon as she can - she has had a month to think about it but I think in a way she didn't, she tried to not think about it.

pigpen

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

You don't need to know where the FPC is when condoms are available free from the school nurse.

Maybe where you live!

My girls are at a catholic high school! and the boys are at the all boys school.. they don't have a school nurse on site, she visits once every 1 or 2 months.

hjsmum

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

You don't need to know where the FPC is when condoms are available free from the school nurse.

I can imagine it's quite hard for a 15 year old to ask the school nurse for condoms.

Amanda65

Poppy

I think so far you have done very well keeping it together but now is the time for some serious questions (and answers) and I think everyone needs to be honest about the outcome they want from the situation you are in.

First and foremost your DD needs to decide (and very quickly) whether or not she intends to continue with the pregnancy. The longer this goes on, the less she has a say in the matter, and as already said by others I cannot help thinking that she is waiting for the matter to be taken out of her hands but doesn't want to admit it.

She then needs to grow up (very quickly if she is to be a parent in 6 months) and sit down with you and work out where you all go from here regarding her education, child care options etc. and tell you who the father is and whether or not he is in a position to support her.

As a mother of 3 teenagers, I know how cagey and economical with the truth they can be but personally I would now turn back from friend and confidant mode (which I believe you have been in and understand why) and turn back into her mother. She needs you to be strong and give her guidance - good luck to you all.

Welshdebtor

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

You don't need to know where the FPC is when condoms are available free from the school nurse.

Not all schools have school nurses that are so easy to visit.

LEJC

I really think that the decision needs to be made soon...and in all honesty I wouldnt try to get a name or contact the father...that will only delay things whilst "he takes time to think about it"...

Personally I think your daughter will have thought about nothing else for the past few weeks and should be able to give you her indications very soon about where she sees things going...

Its clear to me that if you know nothing about the father now...then thats because its your daughters choice not to tell you and I really dont think that at this stage the focus should be on him...as hes clearly not being involved at your daughters choice.

Looking through mobile and email history will only inflame the situation at this stage...what really needs toi happen is a clear desision on the next stage of your daughters wellbeing...to continue with the pregnancy or otherwise...the longer she delays that decision the less options there are available

cprtknight4

Its very easy to try and block a pregnancy although you know thats it there (slight contradiction i know)

I was 17 and my partner 19 at the time I fell pregnant. He went into shock and went for a walk to clear his head. I thought I had accepted it, but it wasnt til the first scan that it truly sank in. And i remember just lying there crying ad repeating theres a baby inside me! Daft i know.

Being as your daughter is level-headed, she is probably more confused as she is weighing up the options and which is the best route to take.

Oldernotwiser

pelirocco wrote: »

No good shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted , I am sure if the girl had the time over again things would have been different.

Its the holier then thou attitude that sticks in my throat

Do you have children btw?

It doesn't seem to me to be "holier than thou" to believe that getting pregnant at 15 is a major disaster. Apart from death or illness, I can't think of many things that are worst.

life_in_termoil

Do her friends usually call on her after school to go out? If so has this stopped recently? If the answer is YES then I think her friends know.

Anyway thats beside the by, I dont think you are going to find out any time soon as to who the father is, so forget him for now and concentrate on her getting a decision made.