Ladies do you receive house keeping from hubby?

moomoomama27

I feel so sad for you OP. That's not the basis of a good marriage. I've always thought along the lines what's mine is yours, what's yours is mine. Hubby and I have been married for 10 yrs, and for alot of hat time I've been a SAHM, looking after our children. I gave up a good wage to do so, and for a long time we had 1 income, even now I'm earning again, we have a monthly buget, write down all out outgoings, pool all monies together, and pay everything, what's left gets put into a pot for days out, treats and other bits we might need.

I could never have my husband give me pocket money and try to juggle it about, sounds awful.

esmy

I'm with those saying that joint accounts etc might not be the way to go here - he simply isn't contributing to the household and family as he should, however that's done. Other ways of divvying up the money can work. I'm the bigger earner of the two of us, we each have our own accounts, I get housekeeping (£500 a month for family of 4), all bills etc go out of my account. My contribution will be more than this but I earn more so that's OK. We have very different personal spending habits so this has worked for us for 20 odd years.
I'd defy him to find lodgings for £60.Could you write down everything you spend in a week/month that you think should be shared, and put it under his nose?

PoorCharleyBear

For a long time I have been the main earner, and as such I would never expect DH to have to ask me for money. That just seems weird.

We have our incomes into a single bank account and spend out of that. If either of us wants to splurge...buy big item...we discuss it and check we have enough/the need is reasonable.

Even with a baby our arrangements have not changed and I find it odd in this day and age that women receive ' housekeeping'. How strange would it be if my DH received housekeeping from his wife.
(Have to say DH is very uninterested in money and trusts me to do everything. I insisted he learnt a PIN to withdraw from a cashpoint incase I was run over!!!)

Surely marriage is a partnership in all facets including financial?

mummyyof5

My Oh is almost the same..no idea how much he earns each week...i dont work as carer for 2 of our children..I was getting extra tax credits but these have dropped by £80 a week as Ds1s DLA has been stopped...I pay rent CT food gas electric sky TV license internet all kids clothes and birthday xmas presents all subs and school bus fares...we have 5 kids but only 4 I now have to pay out for..he pays for HIS credit cards..mobile phones for 4...the car..and he does pay if we have a night out...very rare..

I have tried speaking to him but he doesnt want to know...he isnt horrible just think he is sticking his head in the sand...but I am now worrying how to pay for everything...DS1 and DS2 still need as much care..and have a 4 year old and care for my 1 year old GD while DD1 is at college so working isnt an option.

Just trying to cut down as much as possible and living out of cupboards and freezers...

*max*

darlyd wrote: »

I pay my bits: catalogues, credit cards, health insurance, life insurance, mobile phone, car insurance, food shopping, clothes, toiletries etc. Pay for DD1 activities, And I also pay the electric bill as my contribution.

hubby pays, mortgage (it's in his name only, bought before we met), council tax, house insurance, gas, water, sky/bb/phone. He has company mobile and car.

He earns a considerable amount more money than myself. But pays less out each month.

I know everyone has been saying you're paying out more than him....but I don't see it - or am I missing something? It looks to me like he's paying the most. I'm not saying things are right as they are, as obviously they aren't if you're struggling; it's just this point has me confused!

mikerobertson_uk

Jayne & myself's wages are paid into our joint A/C everything is paid & she sorts out savings etc and whats left is split 50/50 & she sends to our own A/C's i earn more but we a equals end of.

Tigsteroonie

Bit of a role-reversal situation in our house but no, I don't give Marley house-keeping. We don't have a joint account but we have worked out all the bills and have divided them between us so that we both end up with the same (small!) amount of spending money in our account every month.

leandygandy

My husband's wages go into his account, and mine into mine. We each transfer an agreed amount into our joint account to cover the bills and what is left is ours to do what we please with.

This seems to work well for us and means that we can still spend freely without feeling too monitored iykwim?

notisis

If correct I see the OP's husband paying the same amount (except for not retaining the single person's council tax rebate) as he was when single. Possibly less even now as the OP is also paying electricity bill and providing food!

Err something is not right. I think I would be inclined to suggest to OP's husband quite rationally how he thinks the household expenditure is actually spent. Maybe he truly doesn't have any idea of the cost of things. However, I'm more cynical than that and think hubby is a control freak who wants the best of both worlds.

I and dh are of the opinion that when one partner stays at home especially to look after children they are still contributing i.e. working and when also doing work outside the home are contributing extra financially. I think there was a tv program a few years ago where partners swapped roles tfor a couple of weeks to illustrate exactly what the other was contributing and in some cases whether it was possible to reduce or add paid working hours. It was quite an eye opener to each partner as they had no idea whatsoever what was involved in running home/children/balancing work/funding etc. Wonder if you could swap for a week or two so husband gets the idea! If he's still of the same opinion then maybe you really need to evaluate things.

jackieb

Both our wages are paid into a joint account. I don't earn much, I only do relief work - he earns 8X as much as I do. On pay day a set amount is paid into our joint bill paying account - everything comes out of there. Dh has a cashcard but he rarely uses it. He just asks if I have any money if he needs some. I do online banking but he doesn't know the passwords. I have an ISA and a separate savings account. He doesn't. I don't hide stuff from him, but he's just not interested. As long as the bills get paid he's happy. He's just trusting, and he has every right to be. When we bought this house (and the last) he trusted me to sort everything out (including getting a mortgage). He even gave me power of attorney as he was overseas working at the time. He only came with me when he had to sign something.