Ladies do you receive house keeping from hubby?

Crisp_£_note

Ok I will probably be flamed for this but hubby is self emplyed part time and I dont work due to inability. I am on Incapacity Benefit and hubby gets Working Tax Credit as he brings in such a low income (just enough to cover his business overheads most months!).

He doesnt give me anything but his tax credits are paid to me so I suppose he does contribute. From the combination of the tax credits and the Incapacity Benefit I have to pay for absolutely everything! He just pays for things he wants and his mobiles and a few debts he has. We rent our property privately and he eats different food to what I like so thats 2 shopping bills and I have to get the dog food for 2 dogs and fish stuff each week. We dont have children. Dont often go out anywhere he smokes and has beer indoors which he pays for as I dont drink alcohol. I go out a couple of times a week but it costs me less than £10 each week. I pay my own mobile on top up.

Basically we live independantly financialy as it works better and I dont end up in debt anymore !

But somehow we survive. I dont want anyone making negative comments please I simply telling it the way it is to answer the question OP asked and to put some peoples views into perspective I have it easy considered to some !

Hope that helps OP Thanks

Mojisola

Crisp_£_note wrote: »

Ok I will probably be flamed for this

Basically we live independantly financialy as it works better and I dont end up in debt anymore !

I don't know why anyone would flame you. If a couple work out a way of handling their finances that suits them, that's no-one else's business.

The problems crop up when the arrangement - or lack of it - doesn't suit one of the couple. It's then a case of trying to reach a compromise, one person giving in or the relationship breaking up.

milliebear00001

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

All income should be pooled and any money left over after all of the bills are paid and some put into savings should be split 50/50 as discretionary spends.

Your husband is behaving as if he was your lodger!

This is exactly what we have always done.

HRV

I can see how you've got into this situation- ours is similar and comlicated like yours but I think you're right to sit down and do a full financial review together- we've just had to do this.

OH is a discharged bankrupt so I want no financial links to him what so ever (my credit is good) hence mortgage in my name only and other bills in his name only.

We both work f/t taking home similar amounts (no tax credits etc)- he has company car, I have student loan repayments and pension taken out before we get wages.

He has 2 DDs he pays for out of his wages and we have seperate accounts however our money is completely shared- he pays most bills leaving him about 100 quid a months for him/clothes for him/presents for me etc/ saving for engagement ring- lol- maybe one day:rotfl:

I pay my bills and all family expenses eg. clothes for kids, days out, hair cuts, meals out, xmas/bday presents, holidays
plus a fund for our house renovation (up until now)

We are now expecting twins- house renovation money will go (due to childcare of 1000+ a month) as will meals out etc and OH has had to reduce maintenance for DDs (was paying significantly more than CSA amount- little DD no longer in childcare at school f/t- not a decision made lightly though- before I get slated) and have less 'spending money too' ( I had to tell him this as I didnt see why I should be left with 50 quid and him with 200 when we both work f/t and earn the same + he has 2 extra kids- once I pointed it out he was fine with that)

It is dfficult when there are kids from past relationships (and I understand why you feel bad asking for more) but when he met you he knew that and in my opinion you come as a package. I can see that you feel you were better off as a single parent (maybe financially). MY OHs ex discovered this when she moved her unemployed new OH in and lost lots of tax credits (oooppps).

Sit down and do that SOA- look at what each has left and make it fair- he may not even realise how good he has it?

paddy's_mum

HRV wrote: »

look at what each has left and make it fair

I suspect that this is exactly what the husband in this case is determined not to do

dark_lady

OP your husband is being a hypocrite as well because he isnt exactly brilliant at saving and budgeting is he? If he was he would have saved up for the new windows instead of borrowing off his mum. And i think it is highly hypocritical of him to say that certain things for the house arent necessary. NEITHER ARE FAGS OR BOOZE. Could he not give up the ciggies and try to save up for things. After all saving up is what he expects you to do. So why cant he give up the fags if he is so concerned about money.
I strongly suspect that he wouldnt even consider this and just expects you to make all the sacrifices while making none himself!:mad:

Cerisa

He receives house-keeping from me.

Cerisa

Also OP - your husband is being selfish. He should at least be contributing equally. I pay for more because my partner earns substantially less, which MAKES SENSE.

**confuzzled**

OP you're a nicer person than me......I'd be livid!!!! Does he at least do his share with the kids??
Hubby and I have a joint account and have done since we moved in together(pre-marriage) for us it wouldn't work any other way(even though he earns considerably more than me:o)...we have a policy of dicussing any purchases over £50 and have regular talks about money, can't imagine this yours & mine malarky..I'd have been scuppered on maternity leave!

darlyd wrote: »

Hubby earns 28k I earn 6-7k. He pays every month £380 mortgage, £150 CT £50 to MIL for loans (he borrows from her for home improvements), roughly £100 for tv/bb/phone, £40 gas, £40 water. That is all! Where does his other money go? Beer, fags, games, and breakfast (cob van). I make him and his work colleague (who is slow) sandwiches daily. I also supply his sugar and tea bags and milk, (I drink coffee no sugar or milk), I also supply his bath bits, deodorant, clothes, he buys his own trainers when he needs them, I also supply him his meals, (sometimes he will go to MIL for dinner when I am working long, and not prepared anything). He does not have to pay for a car or mobile as they are supplied through his work.

I pay out much more than him every month.

I think £100 a week from him is about right, and I am happy with this. Now we need to discuss savings, and trust. And hopefully an extension over the garage as DD1 bedroom is to small for her (not helping with her mental health), it's 5 foot by 6 foot (if that), and so not fair. He says he can get any money we need via his Mum, and he pays her mnthly. So let's see if he acts on it.

I really don't want a divorce, never said that, but I would of been willing to leave if it makes me better off, and less frustrated. We have a lot to discuss.

I'm glad you're happy with the extra money he's offered BUT as food prices are going up I'd stop doing the highlighted, he can obviously get lunches elsewhere so let him....I don't see why you should provide for him & friends out of the household budget when you have to almost threaten to divorce him for an extra £40 a week!!!

TinyToes

like a lot of people, all money that comes into our house is ours, not his or hers.

When we bought our house it seemed easier than saying well i need this to pay that and im due you this amount for that (a bill account never crossed either of us minds). Now we have children i just couldnt imagine it being any other way. I know DH would like to have a little amount to himself mainly so he could treat me without me knowing (he always asks before he takes money from the bank lol) and once we are debt free this will happen.