Ladies do you receive house keeping from hubby?

Mojisola

darlyd wrote: »

I pay out much more than him every month.

I think £100 a week from him is about right, and I am happy with this.

I think you're too easily pleased but it's your life.

If your roles were reversed, would you be keeping all that money to yourself?

If he has that much money left every month, why does he need to borrow from his mother?

Darlyd

Mojisola wrote: »

I think you're too easily pleased but it's your life.

If he has that much money left every month, why does he need to borrow from his mother?

Am not easily pleased, hence why I came here seeking advice, But I do think £100 will help much more, considering I have always been independent, this is a big step for me.

He borrows from his Mum For home improvements which cost thousands, like we had new windows, he could not of possibly afforded that unless he saved, which he never, he says it's much easier to just borrow from his mum. And he and DD1 have been talking about an extension so she can have a bigger bedroom, He will again ask his mum for the finance. Whether it will happen I do not know.

Apparently he had been saving for when he bought our puppy ( he lost his dog 4 weeks ago), but his mum paid for him as a present. ( I didn't know this tutt)

the_cat

Ok devils advocate..... based purely on the maths.

If he has covered the mortgage,c tax, gas,elec,phone,bband and added to that you have no car costs how are you paying 'much more' than him every month? The figures above show him paying £760 a month

My essential bills for everything else would barely amount to half that amount! I suggest a full SOA posted on the DFW board might be in order


(Having said that though I cannot comprehend the concept of not sharing everything in a marriage. To me it is a coming together of 2 lives into one partnership, sharing everything. Each to their own though)

*max*

So, you are paying much more than £760 (+ £240 he gives you) a month on groceries, clothes and catalogue payments? If so, I think you need to have a look at your spending habits really!

Darlyd

the_cat wrote: »

Ok devils advocate..... based purely on the maths.

If he has covered the mortgage,c tax, gas,elec,phone,bband and added to that you have no car costs how are you paying 'much more' than him every month? The figures above show him paying £760 a month

My essential bills for everything else would barely amount to half that amount! I suggest a full SOA posted on the DFW board might be in order


(Having said that though I cannot comprehend the concept of not sharing everything in a marriage. To me it is a coming together of 2 lives into one partnership, sharing everything. Each to their own though)

I totally agree, we need to share everything. I pay Electric, just paid £156 quarterly bill (Eon came out the cheapest on comparison site).

But I do pay out more than him every month, weird as it sounds I do. I have to fuel my car for work (we only get 14p per mile, costs me about £200 a mnth). He has a fuel card for his car. I pay car insurance of £52, he does not have to pay. I pay £25 mobile, he does not need to pay for his. I pay health insurance (got this because I lost all trust in nhs when I had a problem, and his dad died because of them). I also pay for my own service, mot, he does not need too. So much more I pay too.

For some reason food shopping is ridiculously high, and I need to work this out.

pigpen

*max* wrote: »

Why is it HIS place to provide?

because HE said it by saying the OP is a 'kept woman' that is obviously how he sees himself.

*max*

Oh, ok Pigpen. I hadn't realised you were being sarcastic!

Pee

There are two points here.

One is whether he contributes enough to household expenses and whether there are any areas where the household could reduce spending. That is SOA territoy, but it looks to me as though you should be able to get by on those figures.

The other is what is he doing with the rest of his money and does he feel a marriage is a partnership, or either because he doesn't trust you not to overspend or he doesn't trust you not to leave he feels that he still needs to retain control. This is the sort of discussion you should have had before you got married - I know you realise that now - but it is something you need to get to the bottom of now. If you understand the problem, you can think of a way through it i.e. a savings account where you both need to sign.

It sounds like that spare money is mostly being put towards home improvements.

Mojisola

Pee wrote: »

It sounds like that spare money is mostly being put towards home improvements.

He's borrowing money from his mother to pay for the improvements and then paying her back monthly.

Darlyd

Pee wrote: »

It sounds like that spare money is mostly being put towards home improvements.

I wish it was, then perhaps I would not be so stressed. He borrows money from his mum and pays her back £50 a mnth. (silly amount I know, cus he owes her thousands). But she is happy to borrow him the money. She even borrowed me money to buy my car, which I pay her back £200 a month. Which is just another thing I pay out. But I hate being in debt, and I pay over the odds to get out of it. As soon as I get paid next Friday I will pay off the catalogue and card. And live off £100 week DH gives me for food. And DD1 activities. Then repeat the same next month, as DD1 and DD2 needs clothes desperately.