Ladies do you receive house keeping from hubby?

2gorgeousgirls

Before we got married, hubby and I were given advice from a work colleague about finances (we worked in the same place).

He said that when he got married his wife was a student and he planned to go back to uni after she got her degree and found work. They agreed that, as there would be times when only one was working, all money would be put in a joint account and all household expenses paid out of it but that each month they would each take a set amount which was their money to spend how they saw fit.

We liked the idea and 15 years later that is still how we operate. At times I've earned more than hubby and at other times he has earned more. We each take a set amount and whether he spends it on football or I spend it on make-up isn't questioned. In 15 years we have never argued about money. I look after the finances but regularly keep him up-to-date with what is paid out and how much we have left at the end of the month to go to the savings account (although it's usually not much!).

It was probably the best bit of advice we ever had as I know so many couples who have issues around their finances.

Works very well for us.

margaretclare

The title of this thread might have been written in the 1950s!

That said...

We each get our own retirement pensions paid into our own bank accounts. We also have a joint account and we each tip into it a total of £340 a month which covers everything from council tax, utilities, insurances, food and car costs. We keep this under constant review as to whether we need to put in more or less. At present the joint account is well in credit but may not be if/when the predicted fuel costs come into play. Holidays - we share equally. We were away last Thursday/Friday for instance, I paid for overnight accommodation, he paid for food and petrol.

I haven't heard anyone talking about 'housekeeping' for years. Having said that, I knew a woman who used to go to CAB when I did, a decade ago nearly, and she talked about her housekeeping. I asked her what it was meant to cover. She looked at me as if I was talking Greek. Groceries, the paper bill, the milkman, and that was it. Her husband, who was a retired bank manager, paid for everything else. About that same time I heard of a sad case at CAB. A woman had been widowed, husband had dealt with everything, his estate was going through probate and she was getting final demands from the utilities. She was in great distress and didn't even know what bills were due, who was to be paid - she'd lived in a rosy glow all those years. I came home and convinced DH we should have a joint account so that, whatever happens to either of us, the basic bills can continue to be paid. It has worked well.

onlyroz

I would suggest, if you're hard up, serving value beans on value bread for a while - when questioned, say that you can't afford anything more elaborate.

vpb23

Like others have already stated, we have all our money paid into the same joint account, then all bills paid from that and whats left is for both of us to spend.

birkee

martinthebandit wrote: »

as above, I suppose I am old school on this but I view living together/marriage as a partnership of equals.

and that means share and share alike.

Oh how I wish!!

I can't trust my Wife with money, any further than I can throw her.
Just after marriage, I gave her three weeks housekeeping when I received my holiday pay....she blew it in 4 days, and then asked for me to provide more. Where from? We were hand to mouth back then.
She hasn't changed since. Complete incompetance with money.

Darlyd

Thank You so much for the advice, it's been much appreciated. Wow I can't believe the way WE live, I do feel like a flat mate to be honest. I am unable to have my career (in nursing) due to the shift patterns, I would have to work around DH as he leaves 4am for work back home at 3.30pm so That is when I go to work. I mean who will babysit at 4am? .

We have had another chat this morning, Well I been quite upset, And I think he had a nosey at my laptop when He came down before work, and seen websites I visited last night (rental lol). He came home from work at 8am this morning, shocked me. But we had a chat and he has agreed to give me £100 a week now, and he gave me money to go buy a new fridge/freezer (I had to put my £100 to it) as ours has broke .. I didn't know he had money stashed away in a savings account. (not much apparently).

I am very good with money, I never buy silly things that are needed, or get into a lot of debt, I did many moons ago and It was horrible. I suppose catalogue is a debt, but I use them because I cant afford to buy from the shops, and credit card is only used for emergency and I pay it back as soon as I get paid. (2k limit, owe less than £200 now as I paid for our anniversary to London).

My mum has sent me some vouchers for days out, adult pays child goes free, so hopefully fingers crossed we can go somewhere on Sunday, seen as he has savings. That's another thing, we rarely do much as a family unless it includes MIL, but she is away till Monday, But SIL is in hospital (different thread) and he is running around after her, has to drop some stuff down to her later, and our fridge/freezer is being delivered

It's difficult to chat when DD1 is about, as she does not give us any privacy, I am going to send her swimming tomorrow so we can have a good chat with no ears around. (she will tell everyone our business).

Thank you again. I feel relieved.

EDIT: Just received letter from CSA for DD1 who is 12, never had a penny before. Well we will be getting £5 a week from her sperm donor, can't believe that, he works he is a tatooist and piercer and always earning money. Makes me so mad. but suppose that every little helps.

Mojisola

darlyd wrote: »

Thank You so much for the advice, it's been much appreciated. Wow I can't believe the way WE live, I do feel like a flat mate to be honest. I am unable to have my career (in nursing) due to the shift patterns, I would have to work around DH as he leaves 4am for work back home at 3.30pm so That is when I go to work. I mean who will babysit at 4am? .

We have had another chat this morning, Well I been quite upset, And I think he had a nosey at my laptop when He came down before work, and seen websites I visited last night (rental lol). He came home from work at 8am this morning, shocked me. But we had a chat and he has agreed to give me £100 a week now, and he gave me money to go buy a new fridge/freezer (I had to put my £100 to it) as ours has broke .. I didn't know he had money stashed away in a savings account. (not much apparently).

It's a start but I wouldn't be happy with his new "generosity"!

HappyMJ

Mojisola wrote: »

It's a start but I wouldn't be happy with his new "generosity"!

Why? That's what the OP said would make her happy in her first post. I'd be happy with £100 a week. Depends on the circumstances. I earn about £300 a week and £100 a week personal spends each is far too high for me to just give like that on top of paying for the mortgage and the other bills already stated.

Mojisola

darlyd wrote: »

He earns a considerable amount more money than myself. But pays less out each month.

He seems to think I am all good financially :eek: But I am struggling and have taken on a second job. I was so much better off financially when I was a single mum. So that say's something.

HappyMJ wrote: »

Why? That's what the OP said would make her happy in her first post. I'd be happy with £100 a week. Depends on the circumstances. I earn about £300 a week and £100 a week personal spends each is far too high for me to just give like that on top of paying for the mortgage and the other bills already stated.

Because they are a partnership and a family.

Now the issue has come up for discussion, do it properly. Do a family statement of affairs - get all the family earning and spending down on paper. Look at what is being spent where and how much is left. Be fair about sharing out what is left.

Darlyd

I think a lot of this is because his first partner (about 20 years ago) they bought a house together and they split up, she was taking home different men, and he moved out, went bankrupt. And then 10 years later his Mum helped him to buy this house, she paid cash he took mortgage out for the other amount, just over half what she put in. She is on the deeds.

I can understand he is being careful, but it's me, I would never ever do to him what she did. He should trust me 110%, We are married !!!!!!, and we have a child together. He needs to understand that.

He does not want a joint account where all our money gets paid into, but he did say he would have a joint savings account, we could save and go halfs for xmas etc. When we married, i always thought "2 became 1" .. hmmm

Roll on tomorrow, I need to work our exactly my spends. And a budget for shopping (except tomorrow shop as we need to refill our freezer).

How much is a weekly shop for 3 adults and 1 child? How do people do it for £50 a week? Especially when you cook from scratch, as I am a health freak.