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Heartbroken!

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Comments

  • suited-aces
    suited-aces Posts: 1,938 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    OP: Some advice that you can take or ignore.

    The ex thing, he has rejected her attempts at contact. Let it go.

    Last night. He took the !!!! and worried you. What I would be doing now is saying he "owes" you a night out, calling the girls, and making plans for a 6am return next week
    I'm not bad at golf, I just get better value for money when I take more shots!
  • Superbiatch
    Superbiatch Posts: 585 Forumite
    You need to work on your trust issues, explain to him why you feel unable to trust him and ask him to stop all contact with the ex - perfectly reasonable request as far as I am concerned. I suspect your insecurities are also down to your age, I was much the same and its only now I realise just how clingy I could be at times. Asking him to leave over a minor mix up is a rash decision, as you've just pointed out you are parents so maybe put thought into any threats you might make and I'd also say see them through as he obviously feels he can get away with what he wants anyway.

    My OH and I spend half the week apart, he works away and I have my own house so we only spend the weekends together. I know when he's away and out with the lads he has been to strip bars in the past and I have no issue with this, he's honest enough to tell me I just hope he doesn't waste too much money as I can probably do better for less at home ;)

    When we spend time together our phones are left about the house, there is no secrecy and nothing to hide between us. We have open conversations and are on the same wavelength. If I ever suspected there was anything going on, and I got evidence he'd be on his bike just as he would react if I did it to him. I think as you get older you get wiser and your confidence grows (at least this is what happened to me).

    Its amazing how much life changes between 22 and 32 believe me, I've been married, divorced, home owner, back to council tenant and now I'm happier than I've ever been (i'm a homeowner again too). I did a lot of soul searching and realised how co-dependant I had been in my previous relationships and vowed never to be that way again. My current guy is not my 'normal' type, he challenges me and doesn't let me be a spoilt brat like i've been in the past but what we have works - don't get me wrong we have our fair share of barneys too but we make a point of talking. Sorry for rambling on, hopefully you can get something from all this and move forward x
    LBM: 22.12.2010 :j Self-managed DMP start 29.1.2011
    DMP Mutual Support Thread No: 413
  • leos-mummy
    leos-mummy Posts: 398 Forumite
    edited 5 June 2011 at 11:12PM
    Already sorted! Heading out next weekend :)
  • leos-mummy
    leos-mummy Posts: 398 Forumite
    suki1964 wrote: »
    No where did I imply that

    But I think you would be more suited on Jeremy Kyle.

    Better still try Relate and learn how to have a grown up relationship with grown ups in a real world and not one thats taking place on forums, face book and text

    Err it is a grown up relationship, this arguement is only a small aspect of our lives.
  • suki1964
    suki1964 Posts: 14,313 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    leos-mummy wrote: »
    Already sorted! Heading out next weekend :)


    Wow

    Tit fot tat

    How grown up is that
  • leos-mummy
    leos-mummy Posts: 398 Forumite
    Actually its a mates birthday, was planned for ages. I have no intention of cheating, I love him
  • suited-aces
    suited-aces Posts: 1,938 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    suki1964 wrote: »
    Wow

    Tit fot tat

    How grown up is that

    Tit for tat? It strikes me more as give and take
    I'm not bad at golf, I just get better value for money when I take more shots!
  • dreavi
    dreavi Posts: 143 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 100 Posts Combo Breaker
    suki1964 wrote: »
    No where did I imply that

    But I think you would be more suited on Jeremy Kyle.

    Better still try Relate and learn how to have a grown up relationship with grown ups in a real world and not one thats taking place on forums, face book and text

    He's right you know "I'm at home taking care of the kid whilst my man is out getting lashed and possibly receiving texts from exs" is pretty Jez Kyle esq

    This is exactly why I dont have kids, they sound like a bloody nightmare most of the time, and even if the kids are fine it turns rational adult into dribbling mush heads wittering on about little angels and saying things like babs and bubs when refering to their baby.

    TLDR Either trust the guy and sort out childcare mutually or dump him
  • Oldernotwiser
    Oldernotwiser Posts: 37,425 Forumite
    I don't think that grown ups with children stay out all night unless they're JK fodder.
  • Keeping_Positive
    Keeping_Positive Posts: 4,750 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker PPI Party Pooper
    I don't think that grown ups with children stay out all night unless they're JK fodder.


    Er yes they do but the difference is its probably planned and the partner is fully aware and happy about it.

    I dont think the OPs partner was up to anything but can understand her frustration and doubke standards shouldnt apply but I also think its a female thing. Even when I have been out late I still sober up ready for the next day. I think its a Mum thing :D
    :j
    May 2013 new beginnings:j
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