Heartbroken!

leos-mummy

Thanks for the comment Southpaw. I really dont believe my OH is cheating, he made a stupid mistake a few years ago by sexting... it totally broke my heart and destroyed my confidence. he was totally ashamed of what he had done and felt awful for doing that to me. When he goes out he is a total bloke, beer footie etc and women dont feature in that. I have told him that if he ever wants another woman to finish with me first and not to put me thru the hurt and humiliation. He has been through a bitter divorce and a bad breakup previous to when we got together. He said he was never truely in love with these women and stayed because it was the right thing to do. I know he loves me otherwise he wouldnt be here, he has helped me thru some difficult times in my life and puts up with a lot of sh*t from me, Im certainly not easy to live with all the time.

leos-mummy

Because I was upset and angry yesterday when i found out, I wanted some advice. I have since sorted things out with my partner, he has apologised for his behaviour and has assured me that he was not in contact with the ex. I have chose to believe him, he has a hell of a lot more to loose than I do and he knows it. I dont think he would risk destroying things between us

Errata

leos-mummy wrote: »

Because I was upset and angry yesterday when i found out, I wanted some advice. I have since sorted things out with my partner, he has apologised for his behaviour and has assured me that he was not in contact with the ex. I have chose to believe him, he has a hell of a lot more to loose than I do and he knows it. I dont think he would risk destroying things between us

Not doing something because to do it would be very, very wrong is quite different from not doing something because he has a hell of a lot more to lose. The first is a moral stance, the second is simply convenient.

leos-mummy

I dont think he would do it from a moral stance either because he does care about me, well he did until he decided to drink again last night and plans on having 'the cure' tonight... really unimpressed now but sick of arguing, think il just stay out of his way!

Oldernotwiser

Worthless promises are easy to make - cut your losses.

euronorris

leos-mummy wrote: »

Thats what annoys me... I dont drink nowher near the amount he does and I know when to stop. I know I have a child to look after and never get myself into a state... (what would people think if they seen me out in a drunken state, they would probably question my parenting skills) Yes I have hangovers but Im still expected to look after our son all day... lying in bed til 3pm wouldn't be an option for me

It would be more of an option if you stayed at a friends house. Even if you got up earlier than that, I wouldn't return home until after 3pm, just so he can understand what it's like to be the one left holding the baby....literally.

leos-mummy

seriously considering it now

euronorris

It's childish, but sometimes the roles have to be reversed before one person can see how much their behaviour is affecting the other.

I'm not one for going out drinking all night though (anymore), so I would pre-arrange a girly night with my friends, and maybe some DVD's to watch when we got home, before going to sleep etc. And then I'd put my phone on silent until 3pm the next day.

However, going from your other posts also, I would probably have ended this relationship already. That's not to say that you should, or that it can't be resolved, but he reminds me way too much of an ex of mine who put me through hell and there is no way I'd stay with a guy who acted remotely like him.

I hope it all works out for you.

suki1964

euronorris wrote: »

It would be more of an option if you stayed at a friends house. Even if you got up earlier than that, I wouldn't return home until after 3pm, just so he can understand what it's like to be the one left holding the baby....literally.

I really cannot believe you are advising that she goes out and leaves the baby in the care of a man who thinks nothing of going out and getting so drunk he needs to spend the day in bed sleeping it off before heading out for a cure.

rachbc

leos-mummy wrote: »

Because I was upset and angry yesterday when i found out, I wanted some advice. I have since sorted things out with my partner, he has apologised for his behaviour and has assured me that he was not in contact with the ex. I have chose to believe him, he has a hell of a lot more to loose than I do and he knows it. I dont think he would risk destroying things between us

So last night you'd sorted it out...then today

"I dont think he would do it from a moral stance either because he does care about me, well he did until he decided to drink again last night and plans on having 'the cure' tonight... really unimpressed now but sick of arguing, think il just stay out of his way!"

Do you really want to be with someone apologises one minute then does the same again the very same day??