Heartbroken!

thatgirlsam

leos-mummy wrote: »

I find it hard being alone though... ive been in relationships since i was 15 and only really had a period of being single for 6 months... i know its sad but i get anxious and scared of being alone not being able to cope, people telling me i told you so etc

You'll find that most people will be too kind too say that

But maybe they could see something you couldn't see?

I think he is probably doing the exact same thing he did to his ex's. They didn't put up with it either.

Men like him make me puke. He works part time, doesn't pay child support for his other children with different women but can go out on the lash 3 nights in a row!!

Get rid of him, it will be the best thing you ever did.

peachyprice

leos-mummy wrote: »

Before anyone asks he doesnt have a drink problem

Yes, he does. Just read what you have written

leos-mummy wrote: »

he doesnt drink every night but when he does drink he can quite happily sit up all night regardless of whether he has company...

Ive asked him enough times to come up to bed etc but doesnt do it. He has to finish every last drop of drink, guaranteed there wont be anything left in morning.

he most definately drinks to get drunk..

when i met him he was sleeping on a mates sofa, drinking a lot and lost his job

suki1964

leos-mummy wrote: »

lol him I dont want him to end up in the gutter like he was when i met him

Can i just say hes still in the gutter, only you made it a lot more comfortable for him


two years or more down the line hes still an active alkie. Why hasnt he stopped in that time is he so loved you and wanted to change?

Im sounding harsh I know but as a child of an alkie and an alkie myself - I speak from the heart - walk way - and dont look back

If you dont think you deserve better in your life - then think of Leo - HE DOES and he needs you to provide it for him

Errata

leos-mummy wrote: »

I find it hard being alone though... ive been in relationships since i was 15 and only really had a period of being single for 6 months... i know its sad but i get anxious and scared of being alone not being able to cope, people telling me i told you so etc

Lady, you're going to have to wake up and smell the coffee. You're just about a single parent household now. You'll cope better and feel far less anxious and scared without the millstone of a drunk hanging round your neck.
Don't do it for yourself. Do it for you child. They need a strong mum who has their best interests at heart, not a wobbly one who thinks of their own feelings first.

leos-mummy

Thanks for the messages. Just scared about the future alone etc. I know Ive painted him in a bad light but he is a good father, we take it turn about doing the morning shifts with LO... its just he cant see there is anything wrong with this behaviour. He always says Oh ive never told you what to do but fact is I dont act the way he does, I have more respect and more sense for I just wouldnt have the energy to do it and care for a baby. When asked how he would feel if i stayed out all night etc he replies- 'i wouldnt be with u, or 'i would be out with you too enjoying myself' I think he gets offended that i cant drink with him, he just winds me up and id far rather b out with mates or my sis. We used to argue all the time when drinking (before LO came along) and I just realised its not worth it, so we shouldnt drink together... im far happier tucked up in bed gettin an early night these days
I gave him an ultimatum today... dont come home and expect to drink in our house for this will b th 4th day and its ridiculous. He is still out at his bro's since about 4pm yesterday. he says he shouldnt have to chose. I cant see me and Leo meaning much to him if he is willing to ruin relationship for the sake of a cure. Told him if he cared about us he'd have been home hours ago just grinned and beared it and had an early night. I wouldnt even have minded if he came home and went straight to bed but no still not good enough. Its the principle... im supposed to be going out on sat nite and theres no way il still be on the drink come the following tuesday!

kathy206

leos-mummy wrote: »

Thanks for the messages. Just scared about the future alone etc. I know Ive painted him in a bad light but he is a good father, we take it turn about doing the morning shifts with LO... its just he cant see there is anything wrong with this behaviour. He always says Oh ive never told you what to do but fact is I dont act the way he does, I have more respect and more sense for I just wouldnt have the energy to do it and care for a baby. When asked how he would feel if i stayed out all night etc he replies- 'i wouldnt be with u, or 'i would be out with you too enjoying myself' I think he gets offended that i cant drink with him, he just winds me up and id far rather b out with mates or my sis. We used to argue all the time when drinking (before LO came along) and I just realised its not worth it, so we shouldnt drink together... im far happier tucked up in bed gettin an early night these days
I gave him an ultimatum today... dont come home and expect to drink in our house for this will b th 4th day and its ridiculous. He is still out at his bro's since about 4pm yesterday. he says he shouldnt have to chose. I cant see me and Leo meaning much to him if he is willing to ruin relationship for the sake of a cure. Told him if he cared about us he'd have been home hours ago just grinned and beared it and had an early night. I wouldnt even have minded if he came home and went straight to bed but no still not good enough. Its the principle... im supposed to be going out on sat nite and theres no way il still be on the drink come the following tuesday!

Have you read this post again, OP?? He's been on a 4 day bender.:mad:
He thinks he shouldn't have to choose- choose between what? Alcohol, or being a father and a partner? :mad:
Reading between the lines (and I know we only have your side of the story, OP, so difficult to be objective) it sounds like he has a serious alcohol dependance problem. It sounds like the majority of your relationship problems stem from too much alcohol,ie you can't drink together as you have such bad arguments. Whilst you are supporting and tolerating this behaviour he has no reason to stop. I would agree that you haven't fetched him out of the gutter, you are merely making his stay there more comfortable.
I appreciate this is hard to take, but from the gist of things, you are pretty much a single parent anyway.

kathy206

Errata wrote: »

Lady, you're going to have to wake up and smell the coffee. You're just about a single parent household now. You'll cope better and feel far less anxious and scared without the millstone of a drunk hanging round your neck.
Don't do it for yourself. Do it for you child. They need a strong mum who has their best interests at heart, not a wobbly one who thinks of their own feelings first.

^^^ This :T

leos-mummy

he knows he's doing wrong, says he needs a kick up the @rse... yet hes still not at home, i dont know what to do anymore

CH27

OP how many more excuses are you going to make for him?
He isn't a good dad.

leos-mummy

but he is, i know hes bein a !!!!!! at the min but when hes not drinkin, (which really isn't that often) hes a great dad