Heartbroken!

sazzybum

leos-mummy wrote: »

Na its his mates from football so some are younger than him and majority are single. This is what annoys me... he acts like a single man with no responsibilities so why does he bother to stay in a relationship with me... he cant have it both ways

But he IS having it both ways- and you're letting him, time and time again.

I'm sorry to be harsh but.. you have to grow a pair!

sazzybum

leos-mummy wrote: »

Im ashamed to say it but its kind of a case of sometimes i dont really want him but dont want anyone else to have him. He has kids to other women and i really dont want that for me and our son... i dont want my son having a step mother etc although i know that Im a stepmother myself at the minute. Also I worry about how he would react if i threw him out... when i met him he was sleeping on a mates sofa, drinking a lot and lost his job this was soon after a break up too. He isnt very sensible, i deal with all the finances partly because he's facing bankruptcy, up to his eyeballs in debt and no longer has a bank account. Its pathetic and I know it is, its certainly not the fairytale set up i dreamt of when i was little... husband, kids nice home (were not even married, maybe thats a good thing tho)

And you are with this prize catch because...????

Do you think this is a good atmosphere for the kids? Think of them, and what all this is doing to them, rather than the 'OMG I'm not a complete woman because I don't have a man' syndrome.

I know my lst couple of posts haven't been constructive- but magazines are full of people who think they aren't anything without a partner..just wish they'd see sense.

emsywoo123

Errata wrote: »

If you're happy to bring your child up with a dedicated drinker in the house, that's your choice. I can assure you the child's life won't be a particularly happy one.
.

I split with ex once I relaised the enormity of his drinking........I was pregnant....it is hard, really hard, but I know my children are safe happy and healthy. I do not have to wonder what sort of state he will be in.........I only realised once he had gone how stressful the whole situation was!!

leos-mummy

I find it hard being alone though... ive been in relationships since i was 15 and only really had a period of being single for 6 months... i know its sad but i get anxious and scared of being alone not being able to cope, people telling me i told you so etc

the_cat

Hun - that is not a good reason to settle for second (actually more like third imo) best

Besides you will never be alone in the same way nowadays will you - you have your baby. Start building your life around the two of you and think hard about what is best for her.

A drunk living in her house in NOT in her best interests. You say you are a good mother and I believe you. Do what you have to do for her sake

leos-mummy

lol him its just things are going to be so difficult and complicated if we break up, I dont want him to end up in the gutter like he was when i met him nor do i really want another woman in my son's life. It would be alot easier if there was no kids I would have been away a long time ago

euronorris

suki1964 wrote: »

I really cannot believe you are advising that she goes out and leaves the baby in the care of a man who thinks nothing of going out and getting so drunk he needs to spend the day in bed sleeping it off before heading out for a cure.

As far as I understand it, that behaviour is not a daily occurrence and he is the father of the child. So, so long as he knows he will be watching the baby for that evening and needs to get up early with baby too, everything should be fine.

Unless OP can prove he's an unfit father in court, should they split, he'll have sole responsibility overnight for the child at times anyway.

Emmzi

leos-mummy wrote: »

lol him its just things are going to be so difficult and complicated if we break up, I dont want him to end up in the gutter like he was when i met him

So.

You think you can change him?

balletshoes

leos-mummy wrote: »

I find it hard being alone though... ive been in relationships since i was 15 and only really had a period of being single for 6 months... i know its sad but i get anxious and scared of being alone not being able to cope, people telling me i told you so etc

but you are coping on your own - every time your OH is out boozing all night and sleeping/out until teatime the following day. So far just this week thats been half the week hasn't it? You are doing this on your own already.

suki1964

euronorris wrote: »

As far as I understand it, that behaviour is not a daily occurrence and he is the father of the child. So, so long as he knows he will be watching the baby for that evening and needs to get up early with baby too, everything should be fine.

Unless OP can prove he's an unfit father in court, should they split, he'll have sole responsibility overnight for the child at times anyway.

Everything Should be fine?????

And in an ideal world parents arent drunks with no regard for thier offspring ( he already has three from other relationships ) when they think its ok to booze away the income support away.

And lets just hope and pray they this child isnt left alone with the father when he thinks " just one wont hurt" and then becomes too drunk to realise the child has matches, or has wandered off out the house