Heartbroken!

CH27

leos-mummy wrote: »

Yep i dread to look in the account... rent due to be paid a week ago and no hope of gettin it gathered up til another week

So he's !!!!ed the rent money up the wall & you still say he's a good dad?
He's jeopardising the roof over his son's head.

kathy206

leos-mummy wrote: »

Yep i dread to look in the account... rent due to be paid a week ago and no hope of gettin it gathered up til another week

Oh darlin, PLEASE just read that again!! What next? Scraping around for baby's nappies, milk, a loaf of bread? You and your boy are worth so much more than this.

thatgirlsam

leos-mummy wrote: »

I dont honestly believe he has a drink problem for he doesnt drink all the time but Im angry that he can c what hes doing wrong but wont change it.

Having a drink problem can be hard to define

But lots of people, including me, think that if it is causing problems in your life - then it is a drink problem!

He is choosing alcohol over his family at the moment, that is a problem right there.

leos-mummy

Everything you's are saying is right and I know it. Im certainly not perfect in our relationship. I wind him out, get angry easily etc but is it any wonder. Hes able to turn it round on me by saying that he should be allowed to drink in his own house and I know he should and he can just not when its day 4! He has booked holidays off in advance knowing that he would have these nights planned. However hasnt stopped him pulling many a sickie on other occassions

thatgirlsam

leos-mummy wrote: »

Yep i dread to look in the account... rent due to be paid a week ago and no hope of gettin it gathered up til another week

You get housing benefit don't you?

Is he spending the HB on going out??

Errata

thatgirlsam wrote: »

You get housing benefit don't you?

Is he spending the HB on going out??

Please don't tell me he's getting legless on my taxes :rotfl:

CH27

leos-mummy wrote: »

Everything you's are saying is right and I know it. Im certainly not perfect in our relationship. I wind him out, get angry easily etc but is it any wonder. Hes able to turn it round on me by saying that he should be allowed to drink in his own house and I know he should and he can just not when its day 4! He has booked holidays off in advance knowing that he would have these nights planned. However hasnt stopped him pulling many a sickie on other occassions

Does he abuse you?

kathy206

leos-mummy wrote: »

Everything you's are saying is right and I know it. Im certainly not perfect in our relationship. I wind him out, get angry easily etc but is it any wonder. Hes able to turn it round on me by saying that he should be allowed to drink in his own house and I know he should and he can just not when its day 4! He has booked holidays off in advance knowing that he would have these nights planned. However hasnt stopped him pulling many a sickie on other occassions

And there it is again. YOU are making excuses for HIS behaviour, and running yourself down because, how very dare you, you get angry with him! His drinking is having a detrimental affect on your family, both financially,and emotionally. What will it take to make you realise that this is not the best environment in which to raise a young child? When your toddler reaches for a can of Carling saying "look mummy I'm Daddy!!"??
You are already stressing about paying the rent, (he obviously couldn't give a tom t!t or he'd be at home with you now not buying yet more beer), so what else are you and your son going to have to miss out on, so he can be "one of the lads"? This is way more than him having a drink in the house occasionally.
If you do nothing else, make sure you have the money for essential bills and food put away in another account, because it seems to me he couldn't give a fig how you are going to put food on the table.

emsywoo123

Leos-Mummy I am going to be blunt, for I have little time or energy at the minute for anything else

We disagreed in spectacular style on a previous thread, essentially because you were so concrete and fixed on your particularly extreme view on a subject.

What I fear now is that you are so "tunnel-visioned" that you have an ideal for how things should be you will not be able to see in reality what is going on around you.

I know you are young, and scared, and this is not what you want, and maybe it'll seem better tomorrow, and sometimes he's great, and a million other thoughts, but the bottom line is that somewhere inside you know he is NOT what you or your son need or deserve.

There is no one on this website that can make that decision or push for you, only you can do it, but I hope that you can see that his behaviour is not acceptable on any level.

Know that there are people here who will listen and support you 24/7, but you have to really truly think about what is best for your son and you.

Excessively long post over

leos-mummy

CH27 wrote: »

Does he abuse you?

No definately not, ashamed to say its me who has give him a slap once or twice and im not proud of it... i get wound up easily.

Ive told him that he really needs to sort himself out, to get help or he cant come home. he sort of laughed it off but I told him the fact hes drinkin rent money is a problem, the fact hes left me for 4 days to do everything is a problem

What annoys me is that when his other kids stay he is the perfect family man, takes them out etc. This is because he has no choice, they would understand if dad went out all night and didnt come home but our LO doesnt for hes too young but I know he will understand soon enough.

Im worried about keeping him out of house for too long, Im going to sound like his mother here but at least hes in a routine living here, close to work etc, i know if i dont allow him back home he'll stay at his brothers/uncles house probably continue drinking and miss a lot of work, not to mention having to forfeit seeing his kids at iweekend because they wont have anywher to stay. Its just not that simple, i know you's will think well thats his problem he can deal with it and i know technically it is but i dont want to come across as being unkind etc