Heartbroken!

leos-mummy

Errata wrote: »

HTH I truly feel sorry for you. One of the pair of you has to be the grown up in this now critical situation, it might as well be you.

because i hand over the money for him to go out with, this night out was planned and if i hadnt of handed it over he would have borrowed of someone and we would be in same position as it would have to be paid back:o

thatgirlsam

leos-mummy wrote: »

Im scared of walking away and regretting it. Im scared that he'll meet someone else and have another woman in my sons life. Id rather be unhappy than have my son come from a broken home although i know u can only play happy families for so long before the cracks appear

Better to come from a broken than to live in one.

Yeah, he probably will meet someone else.. and he will treat them exactly the same as he treats you and his ex's and they will get rid.. and so on and so on

emsywoo123

leos-mummy wrote: »

Im scared of walking away and regretting it. Im scared that he'll meet someone else and have another woman in my sons life. Id rather be unhappy than have my son come from a broken home although i know u can only play happy families for so long before the cracks appear

This is EXACTLY what I meant earlier....you are so pre-occupied with what you think you want you cannot see what poop you actually have.....

Stop striving to have this "ideal" it is not ever going to happen with this man. Ever.

Caroline_a

leos-mummy wrote: »

because i hand over the money for him to go out with, this night out was planned and if i hadnt of handed it over he would have borrowed of someone and we would be in same position as it would have to be paid back:o

What about the other nights? He is playing you for a fool, as all alkies do with their wives and partners. I don't know how old you are, but I'm sure you're a lot younger then me. I was an old fool with my ex, you are young enough to meet someone new and make a new life. Let him go back to his ex's - I bet none of them actually want him back though!

Errata

Your home is already broken. If you don't want your son to see someone, you can refuse to let them see him. It's that simple.
Of course you feel scared, you've been leaning on men for a good many years now. Grow a backbone so your son can lean on you because that's your job in life once you decided to get pregnant. If you put your feelings before your son's needs than you're on the same level as your OH.

moomoomama27

leos-mummy wrote: »

Im scared of walking away and regretting it. Im scared that he'll meet someone else and have another woman in my sons life. Id rather be unhappy than have my son come from a broken home although i know u can only play happy families for so long before the cracks appear

So you don't mind that your son lives in a house where his mother is so preoccupied with his fathers terrible behaviour he can't possibly get a look in. That his father uses rent money (funded by the taxpayer) to drink to excess, that his father has been drunk/absent around him for the past 4 days.

You need to wise up, sorry but you are responsible now for making sure your son is in the best possible environment, and this is not it. Your bloke is an alcoholic, he is completley irresponsible, and a crap father. Why would you even second guess walking away?

You and your son deserve better, sorry to be blunt, but not more than a few weeks back you were talking about TTC, get out of the relationship it's destructive.

peachyprice

leos-mummy wrote: »

because i hand over the money for him to go out with, this night out was planned and if i hadnt of handed it over he would have borrowed of someone and we would be in same position as it would have to be paid back:o

So you gave him the money to go on a four day bender knowing you had no money for rent? Why are you doing this to your child?

Errata

leos-mummy wrote: »

because i hand over the money for him to go out with, this night out was planned and if i hadnt of handed it over he would have borrowed of someone and we would be in same position as it would have to be paid back:o

In that case you are as irresponsible as he is.

Dawning

moomoomama27 wrote: »

but not more than a few weeks back you were talking about TTC,

oh no....:eek:

balletshoes

leos-mummy wrote: »

We dont have a joint account, everything is in my bank account including his wages so if we do break up im wondering how we would sort the finances, i would obviously have to make claims as a single parent and he cant keep his wages in my account. only reason he hasnt filed for bankruptcy is that he hasnt had the funds to do it.
I know that isnt reason enough to stay with him but its a lot of hassle

wheres the hassle? to be honest if he carries on drinking this way he won't have a job anyway, so which account his wages go into won't even be an issue. its no hassle at all - if you split up, tell him to tell his employer to change his bank account wage details to another account (when he's sober, tell him to contact Barclays or Co-op banks, both of these offer basic bank accounts with no credit facilities to bankrupts and almost-bankrupts).

honestly, from what you've posted in this thread, there is no reason good enough to stay with him - he has no respect for your relationship or the family he has now.