Heartbroken!

leos-mummy

Its not as simple as me saying oh ur not having any money to go drinking, that really wouldnt stop him. obviously i didnt know that when he went out on sat he wouldnt be home

balletshoes

leos-mummy wrote: »

Im scared of walking away and regretting it. Im scared that he'll meet someone else and have another woman in my sons life. Id rather be unhappy than have my son come from a broken home although i know u can only play happy families for so long before the cracks appear

ok, you say you'd rather be unhappy with your OH than separate from him, because then your son would come from a broken home. Sorry to tell you this, but its inevitable - yes, you could stay for a few more years, til your son is older and becomes very aware that his dad is a drunk who's not around half the time and who drinks the rent money, and his mum just lets it happen. What kind of example is that for a young man? Kids learn from what they see around them, it doesn't matter what you say about how annoyed you are when OH goes on a bender, the fact you stay with him after each of these episodes says to your son "this behaviour is okay".

peachyprice

You'd rather get evicted because he's p!ssed the rent money up the wall than say no to him? Do you even care about your child?

Well do let us know when you and your son end up in a homless hostel. Oh, and they probably won't let you 'OH' go with you if he's a p!sshead.

Errata

leos-mummy wrote: »

Its not as simple as me saying oh ur not having any money to go drinking, that really wouldnt stop him. obviously i didnt know that when he went out on sat he wouldnt be home

You're not making excuses for him now, you're making excuses for your own fekkless behaviour. If he'd had no money from you and had to borrow it from mates then he would have had to find a way to pay them back, or they could have taken it out of his face.

balletshoes

leos-mummy wrote: »

Its not as simple as me saying oh ur not having any money to go drinking, that really wouldnt stop him. obviously i didnt know that when he went out on sat he wouldnt be home

it is that simple though - if you don't have the money for him to go out drinking, you just say "sorry, theres no money for that, and don't keep asking me, because the answer is still No"

moomoomama27

leos-mummy wrote: »

Its not as simple as me saying oh ur not having any money to go drinking, that really wouldnt stop him. obviously i didnt know that when he went out on sat he wouldnt be home

Yes it is! In a relationship you discuss things. If I were to say to my husband we havn't the money for going out, he'd respect that, and decline an invite! I wouldn;t want to be with someone who thought more of their social life than providing a roof over their childs head - utter scumbag!

Money_maker

I really think the posters on here are wasting their time. Every so often you get a thread with these horror stories of 'partners' who treat them like a bit of dog !!!! stuck to their shoe.

Everyone wastes their time explaining that nothing will change unless the OP and partner sit down and instigate it. Many reveal life histories of similar problems - all with the same net end result.

OP usually gets defensive and explains that their partner is a 'good' person, thread goes on a while then dies a natural death.

Three months later it all starts again and so forth.

IF you cannot sit down and have an adult conversation without an argument
IF your partner cannot see that there is a drink problem here
IF you are prepared to carry the family alone without your partners help regularly
IF you are considering another child by him
IF you feel he is such a catch that you couldn't bear another woman having him
IF you think he is treating you better than a doormat
IF you want to make excuses for him

Then no one can help you on here. See you in a few months.

Emmzi

have a look back this thread and find me one person who says

"he is a gem"

"it's worth it for the kids"

"he's trying to change."

We all wrong then?

I suspect we're older/ lived it/ care and want to spare you some pain.

Get rid. If he does change - AA, doctors, etc - you can reconcile.

He sounds like a waster love. Ain't worth staying for the sex, and I can't see anything else he's doing for you.

Errata

There's something quite bizarre about a mother willingly giving the rent money to the father to spend down the boozer. Still, it's HB so easy come, easy go I guess. It's like an episode of Shameless.

emsywoo123

Errata wrote: »

There's something quite bizarre about a mother willingly giving the rent money to the father to spend down the boozer. Still, it's HB so easy come, easy go I guess. It's like an episode of Shameless.

That's a bit harsh and tainting everyone who receives HB/LHA with the same drunken brush!! Although lots of us recognise some traits of the OP, I don't think anyone of us finds it acceptable!