Heartbroken!

euronorris

He's still not home?

In that case, at this point, I'd say pack some stuff into a bag and go and stay with family and friends until you can sort out your own place. What exactly would you be losing here, if he hasn't even been home for nearly a week (without good reason)?

peachyprice

leos-mummy wrote: »

I care for my son, he has a roof over his head and always will, hes more important than my partner and he knows that. I just want OH to change his behaviour

Well he won't for much longer if you OH is drinking all the rent money.

You're not treating your son like he is more important than your partner, you are putting your partners 'need' to go out drinking before keeping a roof over you and your son's head.

But you can't see that can you, as said above you are in complete denial and are being incredibly selfish by keeping this 'man' in your life, just so another woman can't have your OH, sorry that is pathetic.

If you carry on like this your son will grow up believing it's OK to be an alcoholic and treat his family like crap because mummy let daddy do that. Children learn by the examples we set them, think about what you are teaching your child.

nat21luv

leos-mummy wrote: »

stayin out to 530 is hardly appropriate with a 23m old child. neither is going on a 4 day bender. i dont do it to him so it shouldnt be done to me

I dont see the problem with this, maybe its just me? I think its perfectly acceptable, so does staying out that late make you a bad parent?! When I do go out(which is rare as I have a 15month old and a 7yr old) I can sometimes stay out until the sun comes up with friends; club closes at 3am, get food 4am, stagger home 5.30am...does this mean I cant be trusted? My partners the same, stay's out really early because he's catching up with friends as he doesnt get out much either...again, can he be trusted?! Think you need to get a grip on yourself and do something for you so that your not so jealous and insecure-and I dont mean going out because he has! Do you work? Im going to say no, this wont help with you feeling jealous-being at home all day with nothing occupying your mind....

kathy206

peachyprice wrote: »

Well he won't for much longer if you OH is drinking all the rent money.

You're not treating your son like he is more important than your partner, you are putting your partners 'need' to go out drinking before keeping a roof over you and your son's head.

But you can't see that can you, as said above you are in complete denial and are being incredibly selfish by keeping this 'man' in your life, just so another woman can't have your OH, sorry that is pathetic.

If you carry on like this your son will grow up believing it's OK to be an alcoholic and treat his family like crap because mummy let daddy do that. Children learn by the examples we set them, think about what you are teaching your child.

:T
Totally agree with this. LM your need to be in a relationship, no matter how bad, will ultimately have a detrimental effect on your child. Your boy will have a damned sight more respect for a strong woman who stood up for her and her child, rather than a pushover who let a drunken oaf ride roughshod over the needs of her and her son for the sake of a drink:mad:


eta- what exactly are you trying to prove to everyone else in your life by staying with him? If you turned up on your family's doorstep and told them the situation I'll bet they'd all breathe a sigh of relief and say "thank f*ck for that" as I'll dare bet they've had him sussed for ages:cool:

skypie123_2

property.advert wrote: »

If my other half pestered me when I was out and threw a wobbly about me coming back at any o'clock in the morning I think she'd be the one getting her marching orders.

We're grown men, not 5 year old. If we want to go out we will and you'll just have to accept it.

The guy wants to grow a set and tell her where to get off ordering him around.

My goodness you sound like a real catch!

kathy206

property.advert wrote: »

If my other half pestered me when I was out and threw a wobbly about me coming back at any o'clock in the morning I think she'd be the one getting her marching orders.

We're grown men, not 5 year old. If we want to go out we will and you'll just have to accept it.

The guy wants to grow a set and tell her where to get off ordering him around.

Yeah right:cool: bet you're right under the thumb in real life just throwing your weight around here:rotfl:

nat21luv

kathy206 wrote: »

Yeah right:cool: bet you're right under the thumb in real life just throwing your weight around here:rotfl:

Ha yeah, right macho man to the world but behind closed doors; 'yes dear, no dear'! :rotfl:

shellsuit

If my husband wanted rent money to p!ss up against the wall, I'd give it to him, just the once, and tell him not to bother coming back.

Your OH doesn't give a toss about you, or his son, or he wouldn't have spent the rent money on ale and gone on a 4 day bender.

A big night on the lash once in a while and a day to recover isn't too bad, but why drink the next day to recover?! That's what p!ssheads do!

You need to sort out your priorities. If it's your son, when your OH comes home, tell him you won't stand for it anymore, that no household expenses money will be drunk, and that if it is, he can take his sorry backside out of the door till he learns to grow up.

A 4 day bender for a parent is BAD news and only equals to me a BAD parent.

And as for not wanting to be on your own, which is worse? Living like you are now with a sorry excuse for a partner and Father, or just you and your boy on your own, having fun and you getting your life back??

Caroline_a

OP, I think you need a lot of help with confidence issues. Things are always far worse in anticipation than when they actually happen (so for example, people get very scared of interviews, but what's the worse that can happen? you dont get the job.. so it's not the end of the world). So, trust me, being on your own with a baby really isn't as bad as you think it might be. You will then be in charge of your own destiny - which you will find to be so much better. You will have your own money to control, and hopefully will be able to get some maintenance too from your useless ex OH!

Children are like small sponges, they absorb what is happening around them, so if daddy constantly stinks of booze, sleeps until late afternoon, and if mummy and daddy have little or no money to buy food or clothes, he will think that is the norm, and wonder why he is expected to get up for school when it's fine for daddy to stay in bed.

Do what will be best for your child and you will find that it will also be best for you.

leos-mummy

Thanks everyone, ive told me partner we need a break but i dont know how easy this will be because of childcare etc. i havent suggested it will be permanent but unless he sorts himself out it will be. hes told me hes of the drink til his birthday in july but i know him too well and come sat he'll want a drink because its the norm or he'll want to go out for family birthdays coming up etc and it just wouldnt b an option for him to go and not drink