Heartbroken!

CH27

leos-mummy wrote: »

I care deeply about my son and dont think its fair me being called a bad mother. By childcare i mean his kids etc, they stay at weekend and if i kick him out they will have nowher to stay because more than likely OH will only be able to manage a sofa somewhere. I know its not my problem but i've made it my problem IUKWIM. I dont want him to end up in the gutter loosing his job etc. I know if i throw him out he'll likely hit the drink and that worries me. At least i know for the time being if he's in the house he's not drinking

Sweetie I give up.

leos-mummy

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

Where are your parents leos_mummy? Can you go and stay with them for a while?

To be brutally honest: I think the whole thing will have ended in tears anyway. The sort of man who has 4 children, by 4 different women at the age of 32, is NEVER going to settle down and become responsible in my opinion.

As much as I don't like the idea of people breaking up when there are children involved, I feel that this may be the way forward for you. Maybe you could try relationship counselling in a last ditch attempt to understand each other better?

My parents live nearby but I dont really want to have to uproot my son. Its my house, only my name on the lease and my son doesnt settle very well apart from in his own room and it wouldnt be fair

andrealm

leos-mummy wrote: »

My parents live nearby but I dont really want to have to uproot my son. Its my house, only my name on the lease and my son doesnt settle very well apart from in his own room and it wouldnt be fair

Your wee boy's still very young, it'll be easier now than when he's older. He'll soon settle somewhere else, children are adaptable.

Better for him to be unsettled now for a short time than to spend his whole childhood with his dad drinking and you unhappy.

balletshoes

leos-mummy wrote: »

I care deeply about my son and dont think its fair me being called a bad mother. By childcare i mean his kids etc, they stay at weekend and if i kick him out they will have nowher to stay because more than likely OH will only be able to manage a sofa somewhere. I know its not my problem but i've made it my problem IUKWIM. I dont want him to end up in the gutter loosing his job etc. I know if i throw him out he'll likely hit the drink and that worries me. At least i know for the time being if he's in the house he's not drinking

I will repeat - you are enabling his behaviour - which actually makes you just as much to blame as he is for his behaviour (the drinking the rent money, which you gave him. The allowing him to stay in his pit all day when he's been out on the lash - you allow him to because you give him no reason to change) Why should he change, why should be bother his a**se to pay you any mind or respect when you are lying down to be walked all over ("I love you so no matter what you do/don't do for me and your son, I'll never leave you, thats how much I love you"). Thats seriously just asking for trouble - and you can't make him love or respect you just because you won't leave him.

His access arrangements with his kids are not your concern if you are not together - end of. His keeping his job and not pi$$ing all his money away are not your concern if you are not together - another end of.

leos-mummy

Yes i understand but why should i pack our things and leave our house to live with my parents in the spare room?

Plans_all_plans

If you dont want to move your son, THROW HIM OUT. He will only be able to manage a sofa because he has been bumming about his whole life. If he turns to drink, so be it. Your son will be better off without an alcoholic in his life. If he reaches rock bottom and turns his life around, then maybe you can look at making a go of things again.

His other kids are not your responsibility, they are his. The only people you should be concerned about are your son and yourself. How he is not ashamed of himself, I do not know.

emsywoo123

TBH Leos-Mummy, I think you have got a damn cheek to have preached about how "all life is important" and "children are precious and they have rights" etc etc blah blah blah on the abortion thread when you seem utterly incapable of prioritising and giving your son the right to a safe and protected childhood. That is your job. You are his mummy. If you don't do it, who will.

Stop flapping about on your high horse about other people's pregnancy's and get a grip of your own situation.

And before you give us the old "I care for my son he is safe" he isn't. You are risking his home and safety by staying with this man.

Harsh but so true.

sazzybum

leos-mummy wrote: »

Yes i understand but why should i pack our things and leave our house to live with my parents in the spare room?

You don't.. pack HIS things and leave him to live in a spare room somewhere,

OP..Viks right! You're taking no notice so why bother, people are just getting angry at this when the situation is easily resolved by YOU!

He doesn't give a shoite about his children, why should you.

Either end it or live with it, just stop asking for advice that you're not going to take.

Errata

:wall::wall::wall::wall::wall:.......

CH27

Errata wrote: »

:wall::wall::wall::wall::wall:.......

That is exactly how I feel:wall: