Heartbroken!

suited-aces

Just to clarify op, do you have any proof he returned the contact?

carolan78

If he won't talk to you properly without bringing up you checking his phone then I think I would ask him to leave until he can come back as the adult he is supposed to be and discuss the relationship/situation rationally without going around in circles.

leos-mummy

suited-aces wrote: »

Just to clarify op, do you have any proof he returned the contact?

No I dont and maybe he didnt but fact is he stayed out nearly all night with no contact... Im obviously going to put 2 and 2 together.

Anyhoo he's still sleeping (disgraceful I know) and still havent been able to speak to him properly

FBaby

i think the situation you find yourself in is quite common. Your man probably sees that he is acting like a responsible family man 99% of the time and therefore he has the right to once in a while be irresponsible. Why do some men think that if they are good most of the time, it gives them the right to be totally selfish once in a while?

Your OH would probably have contacted you if he'd been confident that you would have told him that it was ok for him to get very drunk, stay up late and forget that he is a family man, and that he didn't have to worry about the following day because you would look after your baby whilst he could sleep the day over. Instead, he knew perfectly well that the call would result in you telling him off -directly or indirectly- and that would break the spell and he would have to come home. He is not apologising because it is your fault for not being a good partner allowing him to be a lad once in a while as he rightly deserves!

suited-aces

leos-mummy wrote: »

No I dont and maybe he didnt but fact is he stayed out nearly all night with no contact... Im obviously going to put 2 and 2 together.

Anyhoo he's still sleeping (disgraceful I know) and still havent been able to speak to him properly

And get 5? He made no attempt to hide what she said, and didn't respond. If you have issues with the staying out, fair enough, but he's done nothing wrong that I can see with the ex this time.

balletshoes

Have you told him exactly how you feel about him not contacting you or being contactable when he was later than club-closing time getting home? Have you told him why you feel that way? If you have, and he's understood you and said he wouldn't do it again, and now he has and is throwing it all back at you, making it all your fault, then clearly the talking about it isn't working.

If your OH really can't take a second to text you and let you know he's safe/coming home whenever, and you need that (and I don't think thats unreasonable at all), then I'd be locking the door on him next time, he'd not be sleeping til 3pm in the comfort of his own bed!

leos-mummy

Ok quick update. OH finally got up at around 5pm... Said he didnt come home as he was drunk and out having the craic at a mates house after the club (I too like going out enjoying myself but have more respect for him than to do that) Apparently phone was in his pocket all night, he wasn't in contact with anyone (yet he was able to press call reject when i phoned at around 3)
As for the ex, she contacted him over FB asking him to accept friend request, he said no as it would upset me (he deleted these messages as didnt want me to be upset about it) then she sent the message (the one i saw) saying 'sure she doesnt know my surname, just add me!!xx'

I know majority of this is me overreacting but its the double standards get me too. Im a dedicated mother and like to let my hair down too on the very odd occassion yet I wouldnt pull a stunt like that (Ive failed to come home once in 4 years, and apologised and explained fully the minute I got in the door, I had to wait 12 hours to get his excuses! And I was still fit to look after my son)

Oldernotwiser

How old are the pair of you? You sound like teenagers.

leos-mummy

I wish! Im 22 he's 32

Errata

Is the ex one of the mothers of one of his other children? Is this the bloke you plan to have another child with?