Heartbroken!

Darlyd

My ex used to do the same, He would stay out all night too. And I would be worried sick, at that time mobile phones were not to popular then, he did have a pager and I did page it a few times, (using a phone box early hours). And he stunk of sex. Yes that is right I could smell it. He had facial hair and it was rancid. I felt trapped for other reasons. I was so glad to of finally been rid him! (also a girl I knew told me he was seeing her friend, which was just one of the other girls he was seeing out of about 100 I reckon!)

Go with your guts instinct. Do some digging. Don't feel scared of being on your own, I bet your gorgeous and would find a great man when your ready. If it came to that.

leos-mummy

darlyd wrote: »

My ex used to do the same, He would stay out all night too. And I would be worried sick, at that time mobile phones were not to popular then, he did have a pager and I did page it a few times, (using a phone box early hours). And he stunk of sex. Yes that is right I could smell it. He had facial hair and it was rancid. I felt trapped for other reasons. I was so glad to of finally been rid him! (also a girl I knew told me he was seeing her friend, which was just one of the other girls he was seeing out of about 100 I reckon!)

Go with your guts instinct. Do some digging. Don't feel scared of being on your own, I bet your gorgeous and would find a great man when your ready. If it came to that.

Thanks... ive already been told he's punching above his weight (age gap) not that any of that matters... I hate bein made to feel this way, scared of being alone etc. Its pathetic and I know it

kathy206

If my DH was out till 5.30am there would be NO WAY he'd be festering in his pit until 3pm:mad: Particularly if it was on a regular basis.

You DO have a trust problem (however not without basis by the sound of it). My DH knows damn well if he had an ex sexting him, I'd expect him to put a stop to it asap or face the consequences, and it would be exactly the same if I had an ex sexting me.
If he can't tell her to back off then I don't think your relationship can work TBH, as it seems you are doing all the running.

Try turning the tables on him. Go out, switch your phone off after 2am ish and roll in hammered at 05.30 then leave him to sort your little one all morning until you get out of bed. I'm sure he'll be receptive (not):D

You need a serious talk, when both of you have clear heads and time for one another. Listen to what he has to say then have your say. Good luck

leos-mummy

Thats what annoys me... I dont drink nowher near the amount he does and I know when to stop. I know I have a child to look after and never get myself into a state... (what would people think if they seen me out in a drunken state, they would probably question my parenting skills) Yes I have hangovers but Im still expected to look after our son all day... lying in bed til 3pm wouldn't be an option for me

Emmzi

put the kids in the bedroom

lock the front door

go shopping. until 5:30am.

done!

kathy206

leos-mummy wrote: »

Thats what annoys me... I dont drink nowher near the amount he does and I know when to stop. I know I have a child to look after and never get myself into a state... (what would people think if they seen me out in a drunken state, they would probably question my parenting skills) Yes I have hangovers but Im still expected to look after our son all day... lying in bed til 3pm wouldn't be an option for me

So why then, does your OH think it's acceptable for him to do exactly that? I agree, you'll get no sense out of him at the minute but if he's acting like the single man while he's out, what does that say about his commitment to your relationship?
Don't get me wrong, when my OH goes out with his mates he will kick the @rse out if it as we don't go out very often( and of course the usual keeping up with the lads and not losing face aspect most men seem to have where alcohol is involved:cool:), but I can trust him implicitly, don't feel the need to check his phone and know he'll be a bit delicate the next day but wouldn't dream of sleeping till 3pm;)
I would have a really good chat with him, and tell him how you feel. If you feel he's taking the pi$$ then you need to tell him just that. Sounds like you are doing the lion's share in this relationship anyway.

leos-mummy

Tried talking to him, he wont listen... he can see me getting upset but still doesn't care. Cant see the problem and its me who has the problem because i checked his phone. Any time i try and talk he throws it in my face

Kimberley82

I dont know either of you but from things you have posted on here ( and I do understand we are not getting the whole picture) you would be better off with out him, he sounds uncaring and generally not not nice.

kathy206

leos-mummy wrote: »

Tried talking to him, he wont listen... he can see me getting upset but still doesn't care. Cant see the problem and its me who has the problem because i checked his phone. Any time i try and talk he throws it in my face

If I were in your position he'd have his bags packed and on the front porch by now.:mad: If he can't see what the problem is then is there a future for you both? I know this might be hard to take but IMO the more you put up with the more a partner will try and get away with. The fact he's putting the onus on you rather than thinking why you might be upset in the first place is sounding major alarm bells with me TBH. Honestly chick, do you really deserve to have your feelings dismissed in this manner?:(

Darlyd

OP I also need to add, He is making you feel insecure, hence why your checking his phone etc, It is normal for a woman and a man to do this, if they have reasons to believe the other half is up to something.

Talking is not helping, he is probably seeing this as you nagging, So do the silent treatment, and when he asks you whats up, you tell him whats up, and if anything like that happens again you will have his bags packed on the door step! And say it like you mean it. Also let him know how gorgeous you are, and that you would not find it hard to find a man who treats you with respect. Don't show him how insecure you feel, Some men like that their woman feel that they would be scared to be on their own. They get a right kick out of it, some men like to be in control in some ways or another.

Do let us know . Hope you ok xx