Grandchild excluded from will.

dmg24

CL wrote: »

People do odd things. An aquaintance of mine's FIL died. He had perhaps 10 grandchildren, who are primary school age. He left his house to one of the grandchildren. Not the oldest, or youngest. He is 7 years old. He didn't want the house to have to be sold to pay everyone a share, so he just picked his favourite grandchild and left it to him.

I think that is a pretty honest way of doing it. All too often we think of inheritance as some kind of entitlement, when the reality should be quite simply the choice of the individual making the will.

GobbledyGook

I'd have to ask. If they've asked you to be executors and allowed you to see the will then they can't be surprised if you want to clarify something. I'd just ask on the basis that you'd like to be able to explain it to your son when the time comes. It's very easy for mistakes to be made. My ex's Gr-Gran's will almost missed 1 of her Grandchildren and it was just because she had 12 grandchildren and, at that time, 6 gr-grandchildren that when she read it through she didn't notice 1 name was missing. It was picked up by the executor and she was extremely grateful that it was as she didn't mean to cut him out.

Spendless

sueeve wrote: »

All the different points make me think that it is not a result of rejection or slight, but rather some logical thing(in their minds) which isn't clear to you. So a gentle chat might be all that is needed. I think if you don't inquire it willl leave a bad feeling for you, so you should do this or the relationship will be very rocky. You may not agree with their logic, but at least you will understand. if they hadn't wanted you to kow far more secrecy would have been involved.

^^^^^ This. Has your hubby been left a different amount to his siblings do you know? Could it be possible that he has been left a greater share because his parents trust him to share out any money to his son and step-children, in a way they don't trust their other kids to do the same? Or because there are 2 step-children there, they didn't think it fair to just leave to 1 on that side of the family, so are leaving it up to the parents wishes. When you say you and hubby are included in the will, do you mean you are mentioned by name? If so, are the other daughter/son in laws? If not is it possible you are getting an extra share to distribute amongst the 3 children?

My grandmothers will does not leave anything to the non-blood line. If my mum dies before she does my mums share is divided between me and my sister, if me or sis die first our share goes to our children, leaving out my hubby and bil. This was done at the solicitors suggestion, the theory behind it being if mum or me or sis died before gran and our husbands inherited instead, and then they re-married and died without making a will the new spouse would receive money from my gran, without ever having been 'in her life'. It may be possible that something similar has been suggested to your in-laws and that your son being their biological grandchild has been 'overlooked' for some reason.

Newly_retired

I am surprised that you were made aware of the contents of the will. ( My executors do not know the contents of mine.) The fact that you were made aware gave you the opportunity to point out the omission and ask if it is intentional. This might be better coming from your husband, their son.

If it is, you might be given a reason, eg they intend to finance his uni, or any of the other rather complicated scenarios suggested.

Now that you have given us your history, it seems quite possible that they do not realise he is your OH's child becasue of when he was born, so have left him out, just as they left your other two children out who were not your husband's.

You say it is not the money that matters and in any case your husband will make sure everyone gets a fair share. Therefore he is not letting you down in any way. He is being sensitive and not wanting to upset his elderly parents. But I do feel there must be some explanation and that he should ask for it.

There is no need for a "reading of the will" . The wills I have benefited from were never read out. I just found out when the executors later gave me the items left to me. So your youngest son does not need to know he was left out and so need not feel hurt. He will get a fair share one way or another.

I can appreciate that you feel your relationship with your in-laws is now compromised. But giving them a piece of your mind will definitely not improve matters.

Mojisola

Newly_retired wrote: »

So your youngest son does not need to know he was left out and so need not feel hurt. He will get a fair share one way or another.

So when one of the cousins says - look what I've spend Grandma's money on - he's not going to ask questions?

poet123

I would have to ask too, and tbh would think less of my husband if he didn't broach the subject with his parents.

I suspect that they are not sure of the parentage (and given the circumstances that is not so hard to understand)and so they have erred on the side of caution to avoid offence to their other grandchildren.

This seems obvious as they have also excluded your older children, they are lumping them all together, again, to avoid offence there either I suspect.

In your shoes I would insist that they were apprised of the truth and let them then decide which way to proceed. If they do not change their will I would then let your husband re apportion the legacy equally as he has stated he wants to do. I would not tell your son of these events.

Newly_retired

He will get given his share by his dad and can be told it is from his grandparents. No need to make an issue of it.

*Louise*

Newly_retired wrote: »

He will get given his share by his dad and can be told it is from his grandparents. No need to make an issue of it.

Really?

He is an adult and is entitled to know the truth. He would work it out himself anyway, secrets and lies have a way of being found out.

sueeve

One of the things about which, throgh the ages, people are less than absolutely clear about to their parents, is sexual encounters and history. Has his parentage ever been spelled out clearly to your parents in law, rather than assume that they have worked it out?

Incyder

He is 18 now and may be 30-40 before they both die and it becomes an issue. Maybe he will be a big boy and not make a fuss.
Maybe one will end up in a care home and at £600 a week the house will be sold and any savings used for the care bills. The Will will be overruled by the state if the money is required for care costs. There may be nothing left afterwards. This is modern Britain.