Grandchild excluded from will.

jetta_wales

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

OP, how do you know the contents of the will?

I am the executor of 2 different pople's wills and I know the content of neither. I have been told where in their houses they are kept, but I've never laid eyes on them personally.

Did your in-laws tell you the contents of the will or did you have a look?

It's up to the person who's will it is as to wether or not they show it's contents or wish to keep it private. They can often wish to discuss them to make sure that their wishes are carried out as they intended and not misunderstood.

WhiteHorse

There's nothing like the smell of money to show people in their true light, and Wills are the worst example of that phenomenon.

mountainofdebt

meritaten wrote: »

I would hope its an oversight - but to expect people to be executors then leave out their children is a bit much - I would definately be asking why - and if I didnt like the answer, then informing them that they should find new executors and leaving us out of the will altogether.

But isn't that akin to blackmail?

jetta_wales

WhiteHorse wrote: »

There's nothing like the smell of money to show people in their true light, and Wills are the worst example of that phenomenon.

Except the money's negligible thus not the point at all.

Spendless

Is there any point in discussing this anymore? The OP has edited out their 1st few posts. :huh:

meritaten

mountainofdebt wrote: »

But isn't that akin to blackmail?

NO. Its called being honest and true and family loyalty. Your kids come first with you and if you felt that the parents were unfair to your kids then why would you take on the role of executor to implement that unfairness?
If someone names you executor and you dont want to do it, then then you are perfectly within your rights to decline that role!
Thats why most people who name family members as executors let them see whats in in the will - and explain its reasoning.
If my mum had named me executor and excluded say one of my kids or my sons kids - I would have asked why! if I didnt like the answer I would have told her straight that I wouldnt be an executor - and if she didnt like it then dont include me in the will either! her money means nothing to me. Treating all the grandkids the same does! and she has - unlike the OPs in-laws!

CH27

Jo17 wrote: »

Fair enough Kered. Point taken.

Thanks for your input. You are quite right it is their personal choice to do whatever they wish with their money/assets and I 100 % support that, as I intend to do the same. I can't change their choices and I really do not want to, as I now believe that after all these years I have been given a harsh reality check that people are never what they seem to be.

For the record..I would not dream of asking them to change their will, but I shall continue my family life with this new found knowledge. By the way, I am included in their will, as is my husband and his 2 children, it's not money grabing, (there isn't much to grab!!!) it won't make the sligtest bit of difference to our lives financially, it's the principle of it and I am asking them to remove myself and my husband as executors as we both feel we are unable to carry our their wishes.

You've missed the point, but thanks anyway.

OP has updated an earlier post & deleted others.

melancholly

Bo_Nidle wrote: »

The lesson should be to not discuss the contents of a will with anyone whilst the person is alive.

you know, i think the exact opposite. at least in this situation you have the chance to find out what people think and speak to them. if there is some logic to the decision, then you can understand decisions, rather than finding out in a time of grief when you're upset enough already and never really knowing. personally, i'd sooner know what people think of me now, rather than waiting until after they'd gone.

kr15snw

melancholly wrote: »

you know, i think the exact opposite. at least in this situation you have the chance to find out what people think and speak to them. if there is some logic to the decision, then you can understand decisions, rather than finding out in a time of grief when you're upset enough already and never really knowing. personally, i'd sooner know what people think of me now, rather than waiting until after they'd gone.

Same! Hubby has recently had the most momental family fall out.

His nans will was always to be split between the 3 children, and if one of them died their children would get the share. Hubbys dad died 4 years ago and so it was assumed that hubby and his sister would get the share.

Nope. Turns out the will was changed so that the remaining 2 kids (hubbys aunt and uncle) got 50 / 50 and if they died their kids got their share. Hubbys dad and hubby / his sister were no longer named! Aunt and Uncle said 'It's was nan wanted' but nan had terrible dementia since way before hubbys dad died and theres no way she knew what she was doing.

IF they had told hubby what was happening (as apparently nan was desperate for this to happen?) then we know my talking to nan it wouldn't have happened.

I do think that wills need to be discussed as we have now found out my parents are splitting the house between me and my 2 brothers, but my brother can live there rent free for as long as he chooses (and theres a bank account to pay this!). As you can imagine I have flipped (brother is 32, lazy and gets waited on hand and foot for free!!)

andy.m_2

Well doesn't this thread just go to show the true colours of folk, and there certainly aint now't as queer as em is there!


People making all sorts of demands and having all sorts of expectations of the contents of wills, when let's be honest it is the request of the person giving the gift that should be honoured and respected.

If somebody decides to do an equal split then so be it, but by the same token if somebody chooses to increase the benefit to their favourites then that's their choice.

My will is decided, the executor is chosen and the whereabouts of the will known.
At the reading then the contents will be known and I have written a letter explaining my choices, not that it is anyone's business but I dont want any in-fighting based on ignorance or lack of understanding.