Grandchild excluded from will.

Jo17

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LilacPixie

have you spoke to your husband?? He possibly has a plan or is aware of something your inlaws have externally to the will for your son. How old is your son?

Jo17

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NickyBat

I don't suppose there is much you can actually do about it, but i think if it were me out of curiosity i would have to ask them why they had excluded him out of all of them. at this point i also wouldn't let them know the true extent of your feelings just keep it nice and friendly until you find out the answer. And no i don't think you are overreacting.

POPPYOSCAR

I would be upset as well.

It is not really about the money is it, it is about the idea that he is not important to them.

If it were me I would have to say something to them and ask why they have excluded him, I also find it incredible that they have asked you to be executers in this situation they must surely know how this would have made you feel.Unless your son has done something terrible to them I don't understand how grandparents could do this to their grandson.

This would certainly change my relationship with them if there is no good reason for this.

Jo17

Hi everyone,
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January20

I don't think you are over-reacting, but I also think you are powerless to do anything about it. It's their money to do as they please with. They are being particularly unfair to your son, especially as he is the one who does most for them. But that happens a lot in families doesn't it? the favourite is not always the most caring, sensitive or helpful one.

I'm not sure I could personally carry on with being their executor/ trustee in these conditions. I couldn't carry on the same relationship with them either as I would be so hurt on my child's behalf. Could it be an oversight, as they seem to have quite a few grand-children? (I know it's a really poor excuse!)

I can't believe actually that they asked you to do this, knowing the content of the will would be disclosed to you, and expect you and your husband to say nothing about your son! It just seem so unbelievable!

ETA: to answer your question: if my ex MIL had questioned whether my dd is her father's daughter, I would have probably completely lost it and given her a piece of my mind there and then. I would have probably cut all contact with her and she would have been lucky to ever see dd again, but I would not have given her the satisfaction of a DNA test! No way!
(And in your case with your son being 18, you can't do a DNA test without his knowledge and him asking questions)

Kered

I am seeing this from a different angle.

I think that your actions by complaining about the comntents of the will shows that you are not the kind of person that should be an executor/trustee.

This is a very responsible position that your husbands parents have bestowed on you and you have abused it, albiet on an anonomous forum, by disclosing the contents of their will.
You have then gone on to doubt your relationship with your husband on the grounds that he has upheld the trust put in him by his parents by not discussing the contents of the will, I think if I were him, I would be suspicious of your money-grabbing wishes over the content of a will that is purely the personal choice of someone else.

Jo17

Fair enough Kered. Point taken.

Thanks for your input. You are quite right it is their personal choice to do whatever they wish with their money/assets and I 100 % support that, as I intend to do the same. I can't change their choices and I really do not want to, as I now believe that after all these years I have been given a harsh reality check that people are never what they seem to be.

For the record..I would not dream of asking them to change their will, but I shall continue my family life with this new found knowledge. By the way, I am included in their will, as is my husband and his 2 children, it's not money grabing, (there isn't much to grab!!!) it won't make the sligtest bit of difference to our lives financially, it's the principle of it and I am asking them to remove myself and my husband as executors as we both feel we are unable to carry our their wishes.

You've missed the point, but thanks anyway.

Norman_Bean

<disclaimer> I don't know anything about wills .....but you say the will has been 're-newed' could it be the case that the original will was written before your son was even born and he has just been left out by mistake??
As I say I don't know if this can happen but it could be an explaination?

grey_lady

It does seem like something that could eat away at you, does your husband know just how important this is to you? You could just ask them what the reasoning was behind it before you imagine all kinds of things such as them questioning the parentage and then decide what your reaction should be.