Grandchild excluded from will.

POPPYOSCAR

Would the grandson have to find out though?

If they are the executors and intend to give him the same as the other grandchildren anyway how would he know unless they told him?

Bettie

How many of your husband's children are still living at home with him/you?

Mojisola

My parents aren't distributing their estate evenly between their offspring, for a very good reason. Their solicitor advised them to write a letter, which would be kept with the will, explaining why they made the decision. Although we - their children - already know, we might not be around when they die and the letter means that everyone else in the family will understand their reasons.

In Jo17's position, I would be upset if one grandchild had been ignored in the will. I would feel the same way if it was one of the other siblings' child.

There might be a good reason but I would have to ask what it was. It's easy to say that it's their money, etc, but that doesn't account for emotional reactions, especially when people are grieving. I would find it hard to see one grandchild not given something in the will because of the way it may affect him. It would be almost impossible not to feel that the grandparents were rejecting him.

If Jo17 can't talk about it face-to-face without getting emotional, perhaps a carefully worded letter would be the way to go? She could say she couldn't be an executor and explain why.

LilacPixie

TBH it is none of your business op but maybe you should try thinking ofit from a different angle. Maybe they plan to pay some of your sons uni fees, maybe they have already gifted him a cash amount and told him to keep quiet about it so not to upset the other grandkids, maybe they have included hubbys 2 other kids because they live with their mother (i assume) and they want you and your husband to decide how and if to portion up your share between those 3 kids.

Really there are 1001 reasons why this may of happened. Why automatically take it as an attack on your family?

scooby088

It's your in laws will they can do what they want to do..for this very reason my will states that no one in my immediate circle will get nothing all of my worldly goods has been left to my favourite charities. As i see it if i cannot give in life i shall not give in death, i have always said dead mans money is good to no one and i can personally say that statement is correct.

I see this subject is already causing arguements and resentment just get over it, i for one would rather have the person or persons than have any of their money or belongings.

paddy's_mum

What normal mother would be able to see a hurt for her child looming on the horizon and not feel angry at the perpetrators and deep dismay that she has no power to prevent it?

*Louise*

Well, I couldn't just sit on that forever without knowing the reason.

I would calmly ask why one of their son's children had been left out. I would accept whatever answer was given, but at least it would give me some explanation to pass on to the son when that will is eventually read out.

It's all very well for the father to give the son some of his share, but when the son isn't invited to the reading of the will (and the others are) he is going to figure something is up.

CL

People do odd things. An aquaintance of mine's FIL died. He had perhaps 10 grandchildren, who are primary school age. He left his house to one of the grandchildren. Not the oldest, or youngest. He is 7 years old. He didn't want the house to have to be sold to pay everyone a share, so he just picked his favourite grandchild and left it to him.

Perhaps the grandparents here are forgetful due to age (can be missed for quite a while) and due to the child's age and the fact that you have only lived together for 10 years, have gotten confused and think the child is not biologically the OPs OH's.

whitewing

Is your joint son the youngest of all the biological grandchildren?

It may be that the previous will was written when he was not an adult and therefore the grandparents felt that under 18s would be provided for by the parent's share. Now they've come to renew no one has picked up on this.

sueeve

All the different points make me think that it is not a result of rejection or slight, but rather some logical thing(in their minds) which isn't clear to you. So a gentle chat might be all that is needed. I think if you don't inquire it willl leave a bad feeling for you, so you should do this or the relationship will be very rocky. You may not agree with their logic, but at least you will understand. if they hadn't wanted you to kow far more secrecy would have been involved.