Grandchild excluded from will.

Kered

I suppose my point is that a will is about the personal wishes of the person writing it and is actually of little concern to anyone else, including to a certain extent the recipients of any legacy whatever their relationship or the size of said bequest.


My grandfather left a will that excluded all his grandchildren except one and the woman that he lived with had a will that excluded my mother who had cooked and cleaned for her but included her sister-in-law who had not visited for a number of years. My father was the executer of this will and was also included in it as well as knowing the contents, he just got on with the task of carrying out the final wishes of the person concerned.

celyn90

My immediate thought was that it does look like they have a problem with you rather than your joint son.

When my great-grandparents died, they left everything to one of thier daughters and made the other one executor. No reason, no explanation at all. My grandmother suspects she wasn't her fathers daughter - but she'll never know for sure.

Harsh though it seems, I don't think there is anything you can do - or indeed should do. It's up to them how they divide their assets and up to them whatever logic they want to apply. If your husband decides he needs an answer, it can only come from him and in a calm and reasonable manner, not from you. And if he choses not to, I would not say he is not standing up for his family at all; quite the opposite really as you need to remember they they are his family also and he is simply respecting their wishes.

I have had long discussions with a work colleague who was trying to make sure that her will made provision for other inheritances from the fathers of her kids; she was thinking of leaving a larger proportion of her assets to her youngest son as the eldest two would have a larger bequest from their father. Could this be the case in your family - that they are looking at a position of need rather than equal division? You say they are proud of you son - so do they see him as more capable of standing on his own two feet?

I think you are right to remove yourselves as executors too, I think it would be stressful for you and it isn't a job that should be done from a position of anger and resentment.

I hope my parents live long enough to spend the whole lot - and I have been encouraging them to do so. I know that their will makes equal provision for all of us - but I would have no problem if they chose to give a larger share to my sister for example as she has a family and I am more independent.

If I did have kids, and my husbands parents questioned the parentage - I would just ignore them it is shows they are not worth my time. I would be civil but not much more. I can see your anger, but they are not worth it and you let them win by letting it rile you. But as far as I am concerned blood ties do not matter, so your other two children would be as important to me as the joint one anyway and no less a part of the family - they just happened to join the party at a different time.

NickyBat

Jo17, your problem has just brought back something i had forgotten about!!
My grandmother died 11 years ago now, but before that when she made her will i remember her telling me she had left most of her jewellery to me (apart from her wedding ring which was to go to her youngest son). In total she had 5 grandchildren, 2 girls , 3 boys and i was the only one of them to get anything.
I remember telling her at the time i thought she was being very unfair as she has another grandaughter and her reasoning was that her parents had plenty and therefore she didn't need anything from her!!
Quite wrong in my book but entirely up to her, especially in view of the fact that now 11 years down the line that her son (my uncle) never had any children so can't pass the wedding ring down the line, i only had a boy (who is not interested in jewellery) and my cousin does now have a little girl.
What i plan to do is leave my grandmothers jewellery to my cousins little girl and least that way it may stay in the family...............but i digress, maybe this has been their thoughts that you will leave your son plenty, more than other family members will leave theirs!
However, i do still think it odd that knowing you will see the contents of the will not give you any explanation.

pleasedelete

Unless i have it wrong it sounds very reasonable.

They have left to your husband and the expectation would be that he in turn will leave to your son. You being female will probably outlive your husband and so in the you end will decide where the money goes- to your children including your joint child.

Your money is unlikely to go to his other 2 children and so the grandparents have left directly to them.

CH27

What is your husband's relationship like with his other children?

Maybe the grandparents want to ensure they have something & don't trust your husband to give them anything.
They may be assuminmg he will treat your joint son fairly.

POPPYOSCAR

pleasedelete wrote: »

Unless i have it wrong it sounds very reasonable.

They have left to your husband and the expectation would be that he in turn will leave to your son. You being female will probably outlive your husband and so in the you end will decide where the money goes- to your children including your joint child.

Your money is unlikely to go to his other 2 children and so the grandparents have left directly to them.

My understanding from what I have read is that other grandchildren from their other son and daughter have been included not just the OP husbands children from his first marriage.

sashadesade

I know this sounds weird, but could it be that they don't consider him legitimate because he was born out of wedlock?

mrbrightside842

But OP's children from her old marriage are included in the will, aren't they? If they had a problem with her, they wouldn't include her and her children and just leave out hers and their son's son. Is it possible he's just been overlooked in it all? I can't imagine they'd purposely exclude him and then ask you to be executors, knowing you'll see it. You're going to have to just ask before it all blows up, it may be a mistake.

POPPYOSCAR

mrbrightside842 wrote: »

But OP's children from her old marriage are included in the will, aren't they? If they had a problem with her, they wouldn't include her and her children and just leave out hers and their son's son. Is it possible he's just been overlooked in it all? I can't imagine they'd purposely exclude him and then ask you to be executors, knowing you'll see it. You're going to have to just ask before it all blows up, it may be a mistake.

Op says in her first post that they have been excluded which she understands.

liney

I'd have asked by now 'Did you ask us to be Executors so that we would see you have left our 'Jack' out?'