Grandchild excluded from will.

JodyBPM

pleasedelete wrote: »

Unless i have it wrong it sounds very reasonable.

They have left to your husband and the expectation would be that he in turn will leave to your son. You being female will probably outlive your husband and so in the you end will decide where the money goes- to your children including your joint child.

Your money is unlikely to go to his other 2 children and so the grandparents have left directly to them.

I'm inclined to agree with the post above. Given what you say, it seems unlikely that they have issues with you, your son or your other children, so it is most likely that there is some logic in their mind about the way they have structured their will, and it is unlikely to be meant as a slight.

Since you get on with them well, can you not chat to them (not give them piece of your mind, just clarify what their intentions are about the money left to you/your DH)

Whilst I can understand you feeling hurt, given your good relationship with them, it seems unlikely that their intention was to upset anyone.

themull1

They obciously don't beleive your joint son is their sons child. Does your son have any provision in another will? maybe with your ex? The only way to go would be a DNA test as proof, do you want to go down that route?

pinkshoes

Rather than stressing and getting wound up about it, I would just calmly and directly ask them:

"Is there any reason why only 2 of your 3 biological grandchildren are included in the will?".

Whatever their answer, just be calm and tell them you just wondered why, as it seemed a little odd, but if that's their decision, then fair enough.

(afterwards, when they're not around, THEN you can get mad/happy or whatever...!)

POPPYOSCAR

OP has your husbands brother and sister been left money in the will or just their children?

jackomdj

Have the other childrens wives/husbands been left anything? It could be that they wanted you to gift your share to your children & for you to decide if it should just go to biological grandchildren.

Personally I would question it, probably by saying you want to be able to tell your children the correct reason for them not directly having anything rather than you trying to guess when there is nobody to ask.

ariba10

I don't understand how you got to hear of the contents of the will?

If they do not like or trust you, why make you an executor?

pinkclouds

pleasedelete wrote: »

Unless i have it wrong it sounds very reasonable.

They have left to your husband and the expectation would be that he in turn will leave to your son. You being female will probably outlive your husband and so in the you end will decide where the money goes- to your children including your joint child.

Your money is unlikely to go to his other 2 children and so the grandparents have left directly to them.

Having read the whole thread, I too agree with the above post. This seems to be the most logical rationale. For peace of mind, it might be worth getting confirmation of this from the grandparents but, on the whole, I think this breakdown makes sense so it might be just as well to leave it there.

*Robin*

I've been an executor in the past, I am currently named as executor on two Wills - of people still living - and have sorted out the mess when someone dies intestate on two occasions.
I also commonly refer to a flat-edged digging implement with a handle as a spade.

If I was in the OP's position, especially with the unusual history of how her first son came along, I would take this as meaning the Old Folks really don't know the truth about the boy's parentage.
No need to get offended - it is a strange tale - and the grandparents come from an age when marriage customs were different in the UK (ie. marry before having sex, let alone kids!). It's also true that many older people still believe one should only leave ones chattels/any cash to blood relatives (or the cats' home ).

Maybe they are expecting their son to comment; to tell them once and for all whether he is responsible for the life of this young man before it's too late for them? Perhaps if this omission in their Wills goes unchallenged they will feel they have their answer, no matter how fond they are of the young man in question.

Personally, I have discussed both the Wills I shall have to execute with their authors, to ensure I understand exactly what is desired by the author and therefore required of me. On one occasion this led to a couple of clauses having to be re-written; it wasn't a problem and the solicitor didn't charge any extra because, as it turned out, he had interpreted the author's wishes incorrectly.
I wish I had also had the opportunity to discuss the Will that I have already executed - it would have avoided a family argument.

OP, no matter how upset you feel, I would leave this to your husband to talk to his parents, initially at least. Because you are so upset, you should encourage your husband to discuss his parents' Wills with them - or as you obviously realize, this is going to cause a rift in your own family. Once the Old Folks go, it will be impossible to heal, and is very likely to hurt your son badly (knowing how the Grandparents he loves really thought of him).

podperson

I appreciate that it's up to his parents what they choose to do with their money but I think if it was me then I would need to ask them why they had excluded my son. At the end of the day I understand your husband not wanting to rock the boat but when they do eventually pass away your son is going to be upset and confused as to why his grandparents, that he had a good relationship with, have chosen to leave something to all their other grandchildren and not to him. He will want to know why, and then it will be too late to ask them.

POPPYOSCAR

pinkclouds wrote: »

Having read the whole thread, I too agree with the above post. This seems to be the most logical rationale. For peace of mind, it might be worth getting confirmation of this from the grandparents but, on the whole, I think this breakdown makes sense so it might be just as well to leave it there.

I see the point being made, but this would very much depend on what has been left to the brother and sister/partners.If they have been included as well(we know the other grandchildren have) then this would not be fair.