Husband gone, what now?

TooSad

Today - well yesterday because I'm only just going to bed. I deactivated my Facebook account and discovered Flickr! Have just uploaded 600+ photos of some very very happy times. It's been lovely thinking about those times and what they meant to me, and not in the least bit upsetting which is great. Now all I need to do is work out how to get my photos off of Facebook in a way that isn't time consuming and upload them to flickr. Then Facebook is going completely.
OH came round earlier stayed a while, I was busy doing PPI letters so didn't get chance to chat like really chat. But still we didn't snipe or !!!!! at each other.

Time for sleep now, hairdressers tomorrow with a great head massage chucked in -

TooSad x

TooSad

Evening All.

Today is my wedding anniversary and I am ok, I've had lunch with OH and he is coming round later for a pizza and DVD, I've been reading a book recommended in a PM called "Loving yourself, Loving another" it's all about self esteem in relationships and it's been a real eye opener. It's resonated with me as OH has in the past said to me "your bringing me down and wrecking my self esteem" this book has helped me understand how my feeling about ME can project onto and effect those closest to you.
I have also been reading about 5 stages of grief (kubler-ross) and I think that when OH left I was in the throws of The depression stage, but now I firmly think I have moved into the acceptance phase. I have needed to be on my own to enable me to accept what's happened by that i mean losing my darling mum. Im not making excuses for OH he should have been here to support me, but that's in the past. I went to see mum yesterday, that's on top of going to see my FIL's grave and I really feel that I have found done inner peace for me. it's the first time I've been to see my mum in 18 months and haven't cried, I just felt content in knowing that she loved and cared for me. Of course I would love her to be here now to give me cuddles and advice, but really she is here within me. She made me what I am today. A strong amazing woman, who won't give up on ANYTHING without a fight!!!

TooSad xxxx

CH27

TooSad wrote: »

Evening All.

Today is my wedding anniversary and I am ok, I've had lunch with OH and he is coming round later for a pizza and DVD, I've been reading a book recommended in a PM called "Loving yourself, Loving another" it's all about self esteem in relationships and it's been a real eye opener. It's resonated with me as OH has in the past said to me "your bringing me down and wrecking my self esteem" this book has helped me understand how my feeling about ME can project onto and effect those closest to you.
I have also been reading about 5 stages of grief (kubler-ross) and I think that when OH left I was in the throws of The depression stage, but now I firmly think I have moved into the acceptance phase. I have needed to be on my own to enable me to accept what's happened by that i mean losing my darling mum. Im not making excuses for OH he should have been here to support me, but that's in the past. I went to see mum yesterday, that's on top of going to see my FIL's grave and I really feel that I have found done inner peace for me. it's the first time I've been to see my mum in 18 months and haven't cried, I just felt content in knowing that she loved and cared for me. Of course I would love her to be here now to give me cuddles and advice, but really she is here within me. She made me what I am today. A strong amazing woman, who won't give up on ANYTHING without a fight!!!

TooSad xxxx

You've come so far in such a short time.
You are amazing.

TooSad

Thank you that's really nice of you to say

Gigervamp

I agree with CH27.

You've shown grace and dignity and you've grown so much since you started this thread.

I wish you all the best, however your life turns out.

kelpie35

You have come on leaps and bounds from when you first posted :j

Continue with the small steps you are taking and the light will get brighter at the end of the tunnel.

Take care x

TooSad

Gigervamp wrote: »

I agree with CH27.

You've shown grace and dignity and you've grown so much since you started this thread.

I wish you all the best, however your life turns out.

Thank you. I have been completely overwhelmed by the care and compassion strangers have shown me on here.

I am not the same person my OH walked out on 12 weeks and 2 days ago. I have grown so much, learnt so much and overcome so much. I still don't feel that this journey is complete.

He has been here this evening, we've had a nice time, he went not long ago, as he left he thanked me for a nice evening and thanked me for looking after him.

It's nice to know that he is slowly beginning to appreciate me again. I'd appreciate me too if I was him, because I am a completely different person to the one he left behind. I think I am back to being the old me, the one he fell in love with, and back to the old me with a new outlook and a new understanding of myself.

I think it might sound a little bit crazy but going through what I have been through has perhaps been the making of me.......?

TooSad xxx

Gigervamp

Possibly. I believe in fate and that she nudges you to get you to where you're meant to be.

I hope that your OH is also growing and learning as you are.

Jools x

Mrs.W_2

You could never go back to being the 'old me.' There's a great deal more to you now.

TooSad

Mrs.W wrote: »

You could never go back to being the 'old me.' There's a great deal more to you now.

Indeed there is Mrs.W -thank you

I think when I said old me I meant enjoying life, doing things, having fun and not being couped up in the house feeling depressed but not knowing it.