Teenage (unplanned) pregnancy

Sally_A

Best wishes to all concerned.

I can feel your smiles from here and they are contagious. :)

taxi36

thetope wrote: »

FYI I live in NI too and the way "the system" has worked for me was:
made an appointment with community midwife in local GP practice. I did this around 8 weeks pregnant. GP actually doesn't seem to have a whole lot to do with pregnancy, unless you are unwell. community midwife will arrange for "booking appointment" at the hospital which you decide you want to have your baby at (whcih can be any hospital, not necessarily the closest one) for me took place at the same time as the first scan which was at 12 weeks. Then I had an appointment with community midwife at 18 weeks, then the "big scan" at the hospital at 20 weeks. After that i'm not sure as that's the point at which i'm at now! but first port of call is local health centre community midwife. good luck!

Thank you. Very helpful info.

Our Kiddies were all born in the Mater Hospital in Belfast so I assume this is where our Daughter will chose to have her's .

Congratulations on you're own little one .:D

jackieglasgow

make_me_wise wrote: »

How lovely that the decision your daughter will next make is choosing a name for her little one.

That's a lovely thing to say, and made me well up.

taxi36

taxi36 wrote: »

:(Firstly,let me apologise if this post upsets any-one.I am aware that many people on this forum are desperately trying to conceive a baby + so if my post bothers you I really do apologise.Upsetting any-one is not my intention,I just need some help
As I have posted else-where on the forum,my teenage Daughter has come home + informed myself + her Mum that she is pregnant .

To say that we are shocked and disheartened at this precise time is an under-statement.We had high hopes for our Girl.

The range of emotions we are feeling today ranges from anger-shock-disapointment-disbelief-fear-anxiety-confusion.

At this point in time no decision has been made about whether the pregnancy will continue.Ashamed as I am,we have not discussed this with our Daughter as yet as we are still in the angry stage and so out Daughter has retreated to her Boyfriends house.
We plan to get the 2 families together later on tonight to discuss matters,although the end decision will be our Daughter's, we will not make her do any-thing she does not want to do.

Can any-one help me through this? Has your child been a young parent? Were you a young parent yourself? Have you helped your child have a termination? Have you yourself had a termination? Is you're own teenager currently pregnant?
Please. Im pretty cut up atm and would just appreciate some help:(

I have just been reading back over this post which I made a few short days ago. Would you believe the difference a few days can make? I know I cant!

make_me_wise

They are lovely names. Made me smile, my nephew is called Jack

jinky67

I had a feeling your daughter would keep the baby.
So congrats all round I say. I think you and your wife handled the situation perfectly.

dont let your wife and daughter get too carried away buying stuff though:rotfl:

make_me_wise

taxi36 wrote: »

I have just been reading back over this post which I made a few short days ago. Would you believe the difference a few days can make? I know I cant!

Im just glad that at a time when you needed it most you turned to all the lovely people here and recieved the support you needed. This thread has reminded me that people are really good at heart and there is so much help available if you just reach out for it.

When you wrote that first post, what came across most to me is that you were in deep shock. Being able to talk things through and giving ourselves some time to come to terms with something helps us all see things more clearly and calmly.

I dont know how familiar you are with this forum but there are loads of areas of it that will be able to offer you all the advice you need over the coming months. Im quite new here myself and have been having a good look round it today.

I feel a whole mix of :j:beer::D:T for your family right now.

Hard_up,_not_happy

taxi36 wrote: »

We continued talking for another half hour or so and the councellor asked our Daughter if she wanted to share any snippets of the session with us to which our Daughter informed us that she wants to keep her baby. It was a race to see which one of us got to our Daughter first to give her a massive hug . There were tears all round and we assured her that we were right there with her and regardless of her relationship with her bf once she told him her decision we were going to help and support her every step of the way.

:T Awww that is fab news, made me well up :T

Derivative

make_me_wise wrote: »

Im quite shocked at your remark above. Do you really believe that every lone parent raising children on benefits chooses that situation? There are many reasons why this happens, and your judgemental approach is the kind that makes life so much harder for them.

You obviously lead a very sheltered life, to never have heard about women having to flee horrendous situations within their family home and ending up as lone parents. I doubt very much they choose this situation. Why shouldn't they rely on state benefits for a while in time of great need. They do their best to raise their chidlren and give them a good life in very difficult circumstances.

It isn't their children I feel sorry for. I pity someone like you who gets to adulthood and is so arrogant and not wordly wise.

Please don't see my post as a tirade against low income parents, those on benefits, etcetera. That is not my issue. What saddens me is seeing children with a deprived upbringing due to lack of money, bad environment, etcetera. I live in an area plagued by this and have seen many people grow into young adults with hardly any education and no sense of direction in life.

I am from a single parent family and I am well aware of what can occur. That is sidestepping the point that an adult makes an informed decision on whether or not to give birth to a child.

It is a gamble to assume that your partner will always be there, and one that is not always fair on children.

She says that he asked her "and who made this decision, was it YOU or was it you're FAMILY" To which she told him that the decsion was made 100% by her but was also 100% supported by her family..

He then told her that he needed time to think and that he would be intouch. At this point he still has not been in touch.

Here is an example of why I wish the father was given more of a say in his unborn child's fate. I can understand this man's sentiment - he has had his choice in becoming a father taken away from him.

Hopefully he will come round, and your family seem very supportive. Best of luck.

tellmeitsfriday

Hi again - so pleased the counselling went well, and she's made the decision which is right for her (and hopefully in the long term, her BF as well)

Enjoy the preparation and keep in touch xx