How can I ensure my stepsons don't get a penny from my will?

Mojisola

sharkie wrote: »

Apparently setting up a trust cost around £10000?

No, it doesn't.

Jerryjerryjerry

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

I think that is very sad. A man who has had a family previously and remarried COMES WITH his family. While I sympathise with your frustrations about his son's behaviour, I feel it is in everyone's interests for you to have a relationship with his children.

If you feel unable to do this, I don't see happiness ahead: I would side with my children over anyone else on earth.

Yes.. I am not preventing my husband seeing his sons. I would just prefer it if he visited them without me. After two years of rudeness and ignorance, I can think of better ways to spend my week-ends.

I have absolutely no desire to take a penny from my husband and only wish to leave my share of my house to a charity. That's ultimately what this thread is about. All the other stuff, its just not important to me.

Jerryjerryjerry

Mojisola wrote: »

No, it doesn't.

I hope it doesn't. Ten Thousand is a lot of money.

Plans_all_plans

I personally think your position on getting to know them is indefensible, but that is your prerogative.

The problem with young people today is that a lot of them are left to bring themselves up, with no moral guidance from anyone. They are also not taught about responsibility. The result is that there is a huge swathe of adults who are totally unprepared for the realities of life and do not know how to act appropriately until they are shocked into it. He may get there eventually, he may not, but I don't think you should shut the door to the possibility he will change.

Jerryjerryjerry

This is copied from the Guardian yesterday. When I read this story, it really hit me hard that this could happen to me. However, thankfully, thanks to the helpfulness and knowledge of the people of this website, I know that I am safe because they are not my real children. They are my step children and they don't have a leg to stand on. Thank god I can leave my money to an animal charity. Anyway, for those interested, read this:

A woman has succeeded in overturning her mother's will leaving everything to animal charities, after the appeal court ruled it was unreasonable to have made no provision for her.
Representatives of the charities warned the ruling could open the floodgates to challenges from aggrieved relatives over bequests.
Melita Jackson died in 2004, aged 70, leaving nothing to her daughter, Heather Ilott, and an estate worth £486,000 to the Blue Cross, the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds, and the RSPCA.
The court heard that when she made the will in 2002, she also left a letter explaining that they had been estranged since her daughter eloped at the age of 17, and the rift had never been healed in her lifetime.
Ilott, who has five children, lives in what was described in court as "modest circumstances", largely on benefits in a housing association home in Great Munden, near Ware in Hertfordshire. She first challenged her mother's will in the district court, asking for "reasonable provision", and was awarded £50,000 from the estate.
She then asked the high court to increase the sum, but a cross appeal by the charities succeeded, leaving her with nothing.
Now three appeal judges, headed by Sir Nicholas Wall, president of the family division, have overturned that verdict, and ruled that the original district court conclusion was correct. They directed that her appeal over the amount of money coming to her should be heard by the high court – but also warned both sides to consider whether further costly legal action was in anybody's interests.
Lady Justice Arden said it was clear that the law intended that an adult child should be able to make a claim, "even if it was possible for him or her to subsist without making a claim on the estate".
Lawyers for the animal charities argued that Ilott and her husband had made "lifestyle choices" that left them short of money, and that since she had lived completely independently of her mother for 26 years, she could not now expect maintenance.
Solicitor James Aspden, representing the three charities, called the ruling hugely disappointing. "The court of appeal has reinterpreted 30 years of law and left in its place a lack of clear guidance, which creates further uncertainty about a person's right to leave money to people or organisations of their choice," he said.
Kim Hamilton, chief executive of the Blue Cross, said it relied on legacies to care for thousands of animals in need.
"We are therefore deeply concerned about the impact of this judgment on our future income as it opens the floodgates to legal challenges from any aggrieved relative who, for whatever reason, has been left out of someone's will."

Jerryjerryjerry

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

I personally think your position on getting to know them is indefensible, but that is your prerogative.

The problem with young people today is that a lot of them are left to bring themselves up, with no moral guidance from anyone. They are also not taught about responsibility. The result is that there is a huge swathe of adults who are totally unprepared for the realities of life and do not know how to act appropriately until they are shocked into it. He may get there eventually, he may not, but I don't think you should shut the door to the possibility he will change.

Yes. Thank you. It certainly is my perogative.

And I do feel sorry for any child whose parent/s let them down.

However, I did not let down my own children as I chose never to have any. I've always had dogs. I prefer them.

Also, i'm not a social worker and have no experience in dealing with drug addicts or teenage gang members/thugs. Therefore, I'll leave that to those with experience, ie. the gran the dad and the real mother.

I'm just an innocent bystander and thankfully, I will remain in that position. Luckily, there are no laws to say that I am responsible for these children. My husband is.

Mojisola

Jerryjerryjerry wrote: »

Solicitor James Aspden, representing the three charities, called the ruling hugely disappointing. "The court of appeal has reinterpreted 30 years of law and left in its place a lack of clear guidance, which creates further uncertainty about a person's right to leave money to people or organisations of their choice," he said.

It's a very strange decision and, as the solicitor says, goes against what has been considered "right" up to now.

Tuesday_Tenor

Mojisola wrote: »

It's a very strange decision and, as the solicitor says, goes against what has been considered "right" up to now.

Yes, indeed. There doesn't seem to have been any claim made that Mrs. Jackson was not of sound mind when she wrote the will. She also left a separate letter explaining her reasons for not including her estranged daughter, which removes any doubt as to her intentions. The final ruling seems to introduce some 'rights' of the daughter to at least part of her mother's estate; rights which have not, till now, existed in the law in England and Wales! Very disturbing.

I think the OP has been reassured that step-children have no rights to her estate and she has been told how she can limit what might pass to them through her husband.

Having read the article now, though, I can understand why the OP was concerned. It is a very strange way to go about changing established law. If children are starting to be given such rights (as in Scotland), could the same happen for step-children, at some point in the future? VERY, VERY UNLIKELY,OP, I wouldn't worry about it, beyond implementing the measures already discussed.

But I do understand how the article raised concerns. I could hardly believe it!

Gothicfairy

Jerryjerryjerry wrote: »

I don't understand why I would have the need to?

I don't have any interest in trying to build any sort of relationship with them. I married a man, not his family.

There is nothing more to say really is there from this.

Write your will and say clearly that you don't want your husbands children to get anything, not much else you can do I would think (and I am sure that is what my step mother has done)


and to answer your question about my situation, birth mothers are not all they are cracked up to be sometimes.

lilac_lady

JJJ - run like the wind! (from your husband AND his sons.) You don't seem happy and life is too short to stay like that.