How can I ensure my stepsons don't get a penny from my will?

Jerryjerryjerry

Before anybody thinks i'm being mean, I got married 2 years ago to a man who had told me he hadn't had any contact with his three sons for over two years - and I believe he hadn't.

Now, one of his sons turned up at the wedding - a huge shock to me (he's 22), but I got over it. When I went back to the marital home, I was told he'd be moving in with us.

I sold my house, and relocated to live with my husband, his mother and his stepson. This didn't work out. I bought a new house in both my husband's and my name. My husband borrowed money for his share of the deposit and my share of it came from my house sale.

So... fresh start? Well, we're still married.. only just.

His son is a lazy, workshy, benefit scrounger. In my opinion he is unemployable. His attitude to life and people in general absolutely stinks. I avoid him as much as I possibly can. When I do have to be in his company, I'm polite and bite my tongue. He lives in a house with his gran, sponging off her and I believe he has NO intention of ever getting a job. Why would he? When his dad gives him pocket money and buys him food and clothes (out of our money). Also, his gran is pretty old, and no doubt, he wont have to buy a house as she'll leave it to him.

My husband has two other sons (19, unemployed living with the ex) and a 12 year old who is always in trouble at school) who also lives with the ex wife. How long before the ex wife throws the other two out for being workshy lazy so and so's?

That's the background bit out of the way. My question is, how can I ensure that these three lazy, workshy spongers don't benefit from my hard earned cash. I've worked all my life. I left home at 18 and I got a job. I've never been on the dole. I have a very strong work ethic. I think this is the reason why I REFUSE to carry the very sort of person I detest.

Yesterday I read in the paper yet again, a story about an old lady who passed away leaving a will and an accompanying letter explicietly setting out the reasons she didn't want her daughter to benefit from her hard earned money. What happened? It was contested and the very person, the lady didn't want the money to go to... now has it. This makes my blood boil.

KxMx

But these boys are not related to you by blood.

rachbc

step children wouldn't inherit if you died intestate but obviously you can't control what your husband does will any money you might leave him....

Giving the lot away to someone else shoud do the trick - but you also need to check if you are tennants in common or joint tennants with your property.

peachyprice

If you leave nothing to your husband he'll have nothing to pass on to his sons.

podperson

Since they aren't related to you by blood I'm guessing you're worried that if you leave your money to your husband and then he passes away they would inherit? That's the only course I can see where they would be able to have a claim on it and tbh if that's the worry I think you might have to seek legal advice as I'm not sure whether it would be possible to put provisions on where the money can pass to next. Do you have a will at the moment? Do you have family/friends that you are wanting to leave the money to instead? As far as I am aware cases like the one you mention where specific requests in the will are over-ruled are quite rare and that was with a close blood relative.

thatgirlsam

Does your husband know how you feel about this?

Will he want to leave his share of any money to his sons?

I don't know his reasons for not seeing his sons but I know that a lot of children, especially sons will have problems if they don't have contact with their father

People can change, I think its a bit harsh to write them off as potential decent people at this stage

You have every right to do whatever you like with your money though, I don't think step children could overturn your will

Gloomendoom

podperson wrote: »

That's the only course I can see where they would be able to have a claim on it and tbh if that's the worry I think you might have to seek legal advice as I'm not sure whether it would be possible to put provisions on where the money can pass to next.

I would definitely get advice on this because this is what my ex wanted to do. IIRC she was told that if any of her estate went to me she could not then specify who I left it to.

Edit: Be careful though because I felt, rightly or wrongly, that that she didn't trust me enough to carry out her wishes without being legally obliged.
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pupsicola

You would be best speaking with a solicitor. If you died first and had left all the money to your husband in a will I am not sure if you can stipulate who the money is then passed onto. I wouldn't think you can. Once it is his money surely it is then up to him who he leaves it too. Would most likely be his children going by how much he financially helps the eldest one now.

My great aunt left all her money to cancer research as both her child and husband had died from the disease. Do you have a favourite charity you could leave your money too. How would this then effect your husband though?

SailorSam

I would have thought if you were to name them as to get nothing it couldn't be contested, i've done that in my Will and would hate to think the person concerned could get it turned around. I've heard some people who have left a nominal sum say 50p and that way your step sons couldn't say you'd just forgot them.

POPPYOSCAR

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I would definitely get advice on this because this is what my ex wanted to do. IIRC she was told that if any of her estate went to me she could not then specify who I left it to.

Yes, this is my understanding as well.

It is complicated because I love my step-children to bits and I do want to leave them something but not as much as our own children only for the reason that they will inherit from their own mother.

catfish50

Do you have independent wealth, or is it mainly just your share of the house that you will be dealing with in your will?

If it's just your share of the house, then it seems to me the only way you can control what happens to it after your death is to get rid of the joint ownership situation. Either buy your husband out, or divorce him, or persuade him that the house should be sold, so that you can extricate your share of the equity. Oh, and also you must make sure that he doesn't die before you and leave HIS share of the equity to his children. Otherwise the stepsons you despise could end up as joint owners of your home.