Drunken Partners ~ Feel So Upset

LMCD

Googlewhacker wrote: »

Only one to decide whether to stay pregnant or not though.

Don't get me wrong, peeing everywhere is rank but I just think its an over reaction to say she may leave him over it.

I won't argue or try to justify a point further with you esp on the being pregnant remark. You have your views. Have a nice day!

LMCD

Caseyface wrote: »

For everyone who said a kind word and/or constructive comment, thank you.

For the poster's that think this was just a chance at a man bashing session, get a grip.

We have talked through things this morning and i made it quite clear that i won't be a doormat any longer. He WILL lose me, and his child, IF he chooses to ignore.

I feel quite positive and hope that we can be together and get through this. I appreciate the feedback.

Thanks again x

Hope it works out for you!

PolishBigSpender

I'm sorry, but getting hammered like that is not a normal adult behaviour. I would not tolerate it, even if he was just getting drunk, without the whole disgusting rest. Mature people can drink a bit for the merriment without getting drunk!

JBD

Googlewhacker wrote: »

I don't think it is a man bashing thread, I just think you are over reacting and because my view may differ it doesn't mean it isn't constructive.

Some people just don't wish to have their home used as a toilet. It doesn't mean they're over reacting.
Apart from anything else, the baby will start crawling around in a few months time, so this issue should be sorted out as soon as possible. Surely the baby has a right to live in a safe healthy enviroment?

pearl123

I'm sorry you've had to go threw this.
I'd tell him that you need a supportive partner now that your lives are about to change, not a partner who marks his teritory all over the house. Tell him you could have slipped on the urine! He really should stop. I'm a daugther of a drinker and you really do start to notice things at a very young age. When you get to the stage that your urinatining anywhere in the house, your out of control, don't know where you are or what you are doing. I don't want to worry you but when he in such a state he really does not know what he is doing. He must stop boozing like this for safety sake. If he not able to stop then he's not mature enough to be a good parent!
Let him clean up his own mess infuture. I hope everything quickly resolves itself.
And never clean up unine after him again. He need to see what he does, cause he won't remember whilst drunk and he's unlikley to remember when he's sober unless you tell him.

heretolearn_2

Try rubbing his nose in it like a puppy? *

He has a drinking problem in being a binge drinker. It's not like being an alcoholic, he CAN stop if he wants to. I think you have to embarrass him out of thinking this is ok. Tell him that if it ever happens again you are going to phone every single one of his relatives and friends and tell them what happened. And do it, if need be. I promise he won't do it again after that. And go out and buy a pack of large nappies and keep waving them under his nose and ask him is he going to wear one under his trousers next weekend?






*yes I do know you shouldn't really do this.

duchy

I think a definition of what having a drink problem is might be appropriate

If your drinking causes you problems in your life and you can't/won't stop it happening-You have a drink problem. If you are disgusting your partner-you have a problem -to some binge drinking isn't "a drink problem" because it doesn't happen every day-but if they can't control the impulse -it is as much of a problem as the person who drinks a bottle of vodka a day.

Either the OP's partner has a drink problem -most normal people don't think !!!!ing in the house is normal behaviour OR he has no regard for her feelings and doesn't care.

birkee

You must deal with his behaviour.
It worries me that his behaviour is under control when he's not drinking, and not under control when he is. Which is the real person?

Tell him you married the man who was sober, you didn't marry the one who was drunk as well, in a double ceremony. May give him thoughts about his marriage vulnerability, if he doesn't change.

Susan_Frost

The only thing that would possibly cure him is if he becomes ashamed of it. And at the moment he isnt. You have not even told your mum. Have you told anyone ? Probably not, cos you are ashamed of him too. You must not clean up after him any more and if someone comes to your house and thinks there is a smell, just say, "Oh yes, thats cos DH got drunk at the weekend and he always wees everywhere". End of, you dont need to say any more. Just leave HIM with the embarassment. It is his embarassment, not yours. He MAY change if you stop cleaning up and covering up. I do agree with your weeing on something of his which is precious and saying he did it. He does it on your precious things - your home, your bed.

Also, put a hook and staple on the baby's room, high up on the door. HOPEFULLY it will help stop him wondering in there.

Bye the way - presume you already have the baby's room ready - has he been in there at all ? Would be interesting if he hasn't - does he really not know what he is doing.

Really sorry to hear this, hope you can get him sorted out, but if not, you may have some difficult decisions to make for the future.

Good luck

pigpen

Get out the camera.. photograph him doing it.. show him said pics and if he does it again you are posting it on his facebook.. so all his mates and family see what he does to your home. I'd also have a bucket of cold water to throw over him whenever I caught him in the act.. and yes I would expect the same treatment if I were to be so vulgar.

My stepdad did this a few times.. my mother put a bell on the bedroom door so it woke her if he started wandering. He is a window cleaner and one night went 'collecting'.. he was knocking on the doors in the hallway. He also used to get in mine and my sisters beds.. usually at the bottom..

If you do need to clean it up.. clean it up with his clothes! or his coat..
I'd tell everyone too.. and make sure he knew everyone else knew. You don't need to be embarrassed you aren't the one doing it! I'd be more embarrassed that I'd been cleaning up after him that is shameful.