Drunken Partners ~ Feel So Upset

duchy

Have you considered showing him this thread ?

Seriously an adult man with toilet training issues needs medical intervention -it simply isn't normal. (Nor is aloowing it to continue though-I admit the first time I'd have handed him a bucket and mop-the second I'd have packed his bags for him)

McKneff

Next time he gets hammered, get up in the middle of the night, pee all over his shoes or something that is of value to him.
Go back to bed, let him find the soiled items and let him think it was him.:D and no, I'm not joking

Surely that might stop him in his tracks

Away for a few days now, hope you get sorted.

Good luck
Annie

thebaileys

You need to confront him and tell him your fears, him being drunk so close to you going into labour, and your worry about him sleeping walking once you have the baby.

Someone posted a link for Al anon, I don't think he's an alcoholic as the poster says he's lovely mon-fri, and seems to binge after the Rugby.

He needs to realise his limits, he's not violent, so thats not a worry. But he needs to find a happy medium, one where he's not pittling all over!!!

My other half likes a good drink now and then after the football, again he is lovely, not violent but has been known to be sick when he's had too much.

I had him scrubbing the floors at 3am, he never did it again!

Once our son came along he did calm down, although he has a drink, he know's his limits. Hopefully your other half will come to his senses, best of luck with your baby

Mrs_P_Pincher

Whether or not he is alcohol dependent, this is a man with a drink problem. He is a binger, he knows he's a binger and he's stuck in the cycle of being really sorry and then when the dust has settled, going out and doing it again.

If you bargain with him, you are lost. He will make the bargain and then ignore it.

I remember asking my OH not to drink in the run up to our baby's birth in case he had to take me to hospital. Did he take any notice? No! There was always a reason why he had to have a drink, principally the stress of the forthcoming birth!

OP won't want to hear this at this time, and who can blame her, but unless this man decides himself that he is going to sort this out and stop behaving in this way, this relationship is doomed, not just because of the consequences of the drinking ie the peeing everywhere, but because of all the behaviours that go with it.

When a counsellor told me this when my baby was 6 months old, I was not ready to hear it, and I stuck it for another 8 years of abuse, let downs, bargains, violence etc etc. I had a breakdown when it finally ended and was out of commission for 18 months. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Think on OP.

Mrs PP

LMCD

Googlewhacker wrote: »

She chose to get pregnant and thats her choice to be pregnant, it is his choice whether or not to drink or not.

The outcome is not great but I do wonder whether its that big a deal or not.

It takes two baby!!

Googlewhacker

building_with_lego wrote: »

Here's that other thread https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2572317

I liked the advice to tell his mates not to let him drink too much as he pi55es everywhere...

You tell blokes that and they will only encourage it!

Caseyface

For everyone who said a kind word and/or constructive comment, thank you.

For the poster's that think this was just a chance at a man bashing session, get a grip.

We have talked through things this morning and i made it quite clear that i won't be a doormat any longer. He WILL lose me, and his child, IF he chooses to ignore.

I feel quite positive and hope that we can be together and get through this. I appreciate the feedback.

Thanks again x

jinky67

Mrs_P_Pincher wrote: »

Whether or not he is alcohol dependent, this is a man with a drink problem. He is a binger, he knows he's a binger and he's stuck in the cycle of being really sorry and then when the dust has settled, going out and doing it again.

I was just coming to say the very same thing. Sadly I doubt he will change, they rarely do, he may cut down for a while, but there is always a "reason" for him having a drink.

Googlewhacker

LMCD wrote: »

It takes two baby!!

Only one to decide whether to stay pregnant or not though.

Don't get me wrong, peeing everywhere is rank but I just think its an over reaction to say she may leave him over it.

Googlewhacker

Caseyface wrote: »

For everyone who said a kind word and/or constructive comment, thank you.

For the poster's that think this was just a chance at a man bashing session, get a grip.

We have talked through things this morning and i made it quite clear that i won't be a doormat any longer. He WILL lose me, and his child, IF he chooses to ignore.

I feel quite positive and hope that we can be together and get through this. I appreciate the feedback.

Thanks again x

I don't think it is a man bashing thread, I just think you are over reacting and because my view may differ it doesn't mean it isn't constructive.