Drunken Partners ~ Feel So Upset

Googlewhacker

why not get him to wear incontinance pants or something after a night on the lash?

Does he not goto the toilet before going to sleep?

BitterAndTwisted

Caseyface wrote: »

Pixie, the few times it has happened before, i haven't cleaned it up, i've left it and he has done it, shame faced etc etc, but he still can't control it.

Actually, he can control it, it's just that he chooses not to. Getting absolutely bladdered with his mates is obviously more important to him at the time than you are. By believing that he can't control it you are, in your own way, letting him off the hook for the decisions he makes.

If he truly had a proper drink problem he's be on the booze regularly, not just losing all semblance of control every once in a while.

I'd be preparing my "get a grip or get the hell out" speech while I was sorting out his Marigolds.

tealady

I would be soooo tempted to take his fave electronic gadget and put it where he is peeing. When he surfaces next day and realises he has trashed his xbox/laptop/whatever he may decide it wasn't worth the drinking.

ema_o

I am with you on the 3 weeks till due date and I can sympathise with you on that front because my OH has been hugely stressed the last week or so and we've had stupid arguments over tiny things.
That being said, he is under strict instructions not to have more than 2 pints worth between now and me having the baby. He came up with a few suggestions for a friends stag do in the next few weeks - just shandy / alternating every other drink with a soft one, but the rule of no more than 2 pints stands if he wants to come into the maternity unit with me (if not I'm calling my mum!!). For the short term I would give your OH a specific limit rather than being okay with him drinking shandy (not saying you were okay with it).

Also I can understand you are ashamed to tell your mum about his behaviour, but this is just letting him off the hook in one more way. If you can't tell your mum tell close mutual friends, this is embarrassing for you but more embarassing for him, if you can get it out in the open he has more reason to change.

I don't know what I'd do if my OH did this, I know what's worked with the stupid arguments is removing myself from the situation so going out for a walk or a drive, or on one occasion (years ago) I went and stopped at a friends house overnight. I think the suggestion of making him clean it up himself is a good one, or making sure something important to him gets ruined in the process... You do need to have a serious chat about it.

JBD

suited-aces wrote: »

No you're not. Then again he's male, therefore considered scum in these parts

What has being male got to do with it? Getting drunk to the point of !!!!ing over the walls and floors is simply disgusting behaviour. It's not acceptable from a dog so why is it acceptable from an adult?
If you can't control your behaviour when drunk then don't get drunk, male or female. Simple as that.

rachbc

If he won't stop drinking I'd be telling him to stay over with a mate. A couple of pi55es on someone elses floor and I fairly sure he'll run out if places to stay.

Counting_Pennies_2

I think maybe take another tact and say that you understand his want for watching the rugby, but that you are constantly worried when he goes that he will come back and do the same again.

That maybe the answer is, if he can't control it, then he doesn't get to go to the rugby (you don't get to go!)

So either he promises not to drink (as he can't control it when he gets started) or he doesn't go fullstop.

building_with_lego

Here's that other thread https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2572317

I liked the advice to tell his mates not to let him drink too much as he pi55es everywhere...

Kwaker_Knacker

Having recently been thru a similar alcohol related malarky with my OH, I can relate to what you're going thru (but without the pregnancy bit with me being male ). I laid the law down on more than one occasion, but without success. A couple of weeks later (at most), it was back to where we'd started and it wears you down. Yes it would have been easy to kick her out or me walk away, but we've got 2 kids, a nice home, and a lot to throw away. I like a good drink myself, but bar the odd "cannot remember going to bed" moment, I've never did anything like my OH does.

It came to a head last week after a trip to the hospital, and now she's chucked the drink all together and is seeking help.

Your guy obviously cannot control it (same as my OH), therefore rapping it in altogether is the only way. Cutting down doesn't work, he'll end up reverting to type after a while and you'll be no further forward. So it's either that or just hold the pillow over his face when he's comatose, instant remedy

Sambucus_Nigra

Cripes - I gave up drinking as I got a headache after...if I did that I'd never touch a drop ever ever again. How embarrassing. [Hoem brew doesn't have the same effects, thankfully]...

He really needs to work out why he feels that he needs to get so drunk all the time. It's not crucial to get so drunk just to watch a game of sport.....sober people watch it too.

Can you p1ss over his work clothes, and when he takes the day off to wash the lot have a word about how you are going to work through maintenance payments, contact with his child [without p1ssing all over him/her], whether he will rent or buy and if he rents, how he will lose the deposit on the property at the end if he can't stop p1ssing on things etc etc.