Hubby flirting! do i say something?

elastigirl

My husband borrowed my laptop last night to do work supposedly but he had left it on and when i went to it this morning his chat from facebook was open still. He had been talking to a work friend all night long untill 2am, I know i shouldn't have read it all but i saw a comment made about them getting a hotel together and i was shocked so i read the whole thing.

It was a very long chat but basically they were talking about a conference (hubby going but she isn't) She joked about going and sneaking in his room for free as they have to pay to go. But the joke kept going a bit far on both sides. It was clear she really likes him and he was lapping it up and leading her on i feel.

In his eyes he was joking or just doing harmless flirting but towards the end she told him how she really felt and said she wasn't joking, asked if he was? does he want to go for a meal?, get a hotel?, like her the same way?

He said he knew she fancied him but didn't think she would want more, She said she did. He said he was married, he likes her but it can't go any further. She got v mad said she knew he was married she is engaged why say that for etc.

She started to get v peed off with him. Said he was messing her around and why do all men treat her like carp etc he said sorry and to tell him what he can do to make it up tp her but she then went off line

I was shocked as he never flirts and at times it really did go a bit close to the bone and made me feel like poo. I was also annoyed that he simply told her he was married but he liked her. Nothing about loving his wife and children and would never do that to me. I can't believe i have my hubby so wrong.

I was so tempted to block her or delete her but i didn't she seemed like she didn't want anything more to do with him, so i haven't mentioned anything.

Tish_P

Maybe he was trying to get her to make an unambiguous pass at him so that he could unambiguously turn her down? If they'd had a jokey flirty relationship and he felt uneasy with that, it could have been the easiest way to make sure that an honest conversation could be had in a non-confrontational context. Much better for him to tell her he's not interested now than have an awkward, possibly drunk incident at the conference.

He said he was married so not interested. That's short, sweet and unequivocal. Any more detail would just have hurt her feelings more, or made her think he might be persuasible. From what you've said, I reckon he handled the situation rather well!

Jinx

He left it open on your laptop......... You could hardly have missed it. I would say you saw it and how unimpressed you are and take it from there....

skintbint_2

not sure what i would do - just thought hugs in order! how would he react if you casually dropped into the conversation that he forgot to log off and ask who the [STRIKE]slapper[/STRIKE] nutter was? if it was so late she may have been drinking and taken things a bit far but from what you say about the her going on about men treating her badly etc sounds like she has issues.

personally i would have been tempted to have used his account to send her an email telling her where to get off and that you would rip her F**kin head off and made sure she knew exactly who it was from.

dont sit and worry and stew about this - say something or at least hint that you know,

take care

Tish_P

Ask him about it. He might even have left the window open on purpose. But I'd start from a "what's this about?" rather than a "how dare you?" - hear his side of this story.

elastigirl

it's difficult, i want to say something but i don't want to row and he will prob turn it on me for reading it. I have never heard of her before now and he normally tells me everything. think i should have said something this morning.

McKneff

personally i would have been tempted to have used his account to send her an email telling her where to get off and that you would rip her F**kin head off and made sure she knew exactly who it was from.

dont sit and worry and stew about this - say something or at least hint that you know,



Dont be tempted, Do it.

Say something - Dont hint.

Rip her head off, kick him in the balls

Gavin83

I don't think you should be too harsh on him. We all flirt from time to time and although it clearly went to far he ended it before it became too serious. At least you know he won't cheat on you.

ajaney

If you don't say anything, this is going to fester - you're not going to be able to forget about it.

Approach from the 'whats this about' angle as suggested above.

Does he normally use your laptop or has he another computer - just wondered why he was using yours?

Gavin83

I do think he wanted you to find it, no one is that careless.

elastigirl

McKneff wrote: »

personally i would have been tempted to have used his account to send her an email telling her where to get off and that you would rip her F**kin head off and made sure she knew exactly who it was from.

dont sit and worry and stew about this - say something or at least hint that you know,



Dont be tempted, Do it.

Say something - Dont hint.

Rip her head off, kick him in the balls

lol thanks. I think i may know his email adress and password but it would be a guess as he doesn't use his normal one, so am tempted to just block her. I have just been hinting a few bits but he hasn't took the bait.

He does have his own but has left it at work. He left it on as he was downloading something. I think he completely forgot as it was well over 2am when he came to bed.