lazy husband

Flyboy152

Gavin83 wrote: »

One thing I've never understood about pooled finances. If one partner wants something that the other doesn't (say for a hobby or something similar) how do they go about it? Do they ask permission from the other partner first, just go ahead any buy it or not buy it at all, as all money should only be spent of items for both partners?

But this just illustrates the alterity. What happens to consultation and compromise, that's what a partnership is all about. When Mrs Flyboy and I fist got married, we allocated a small budget each, as spending money. We would either save it or spend it. If there was anything we need to spend money on, we discussed it and weighed up the benefits to the individual and to us both.

Spendless

Gavin83 wrote: »

One thing I've never understood about pooled finances. If one partner wants something that the other doesn't (say for a hobby or something similar) how do they go about it? Do they ask permission from the other partner first, just go ahead any buy it or not buy it at all, as all money should only be spent of items for both partners?

Depends on the family income and expenditure, the item in question and cost. For example we have joint finances, my husband recently wished to spend £140 on an annual subscription for his hobby. He mentioned it to me, we agreed we could afford it and he bought it. I wouldn't expect him to run a £5 magazine on the same subject past me first as our finances are not that tight. But it also depends on what it is, I wouldn't be happy if he wanted a weekend away with his mates and we hadn't been away as a family.

pigpen

My OH has £50 a week to spend as he pleases.. but he has to pay his WoW subs, comic subs, fuel for the car (£80 for far since christmas so not a huge amount considering he got £80 back from his mum).. I pay the bills, the mortgage, buy food, clothe the children, pay for trips and clubs and any eventuality.. whatever is left goes in the savings account and when we need something big the money is there waiting.. currently saving for house repairs!

My OH doesn't like the mess.. I drive him crazy because I am so messy and the children are even worse.. I am apparently incapable of putting anything away.. I just purge the house every few months and throw everything in the bin!

barbiedoll

Yes, we're the same with money. I can't remember my OH ever spending a largeish amount of money without speaking to me first. Unless it was for my Christmas or birthday presents.

I can be a bit of a slob. I'm tidy but grubby. My kitchen and living room are tidy and neat but look a bit closer and you'll see the dust and the sticky cupboard doors and the droopy houseplants:(
I just can't see the point of spending much time on trying to create order out of chaos, the laws of physics say it cannot be done!

I'm with Pigpen on this one. A couple of hours, 3 or 4 times a year, with a roll of binliners, and job done. No-one notices that anything is missing, they're too busy trying to work out where their phone charger/school bus pass/work jacket is. It doesn't make anyone's life any easier but I'm a woman, it's what I'm supposed to do! :rotfl:

And I certainly don't bother cleaning the inside of my oven. Any germs in there will be destroyed by half an hour of gas mark 6 anyway so what's the problem? :D

wongstack

I am so messy

Wait wait wait!!

A messy woman! Wow!

So this is what love feels like:kisses3:

P.s cheers gav

Flyboy152

barbiedoll wrote: »

Yes, we're the same with money. I can't remember my OH ever spending a largeish amount of money without speaking to me first. Unless it was for my Christmas or birthday presents.

I can be a bit of a slob. I'm tidy but grubby. My kitchen and living room are tidy and neat but look a bit closer and you'll see the dust and the sticky cupboard doors and the droopy houseplants:(
I just can't see the point of spending much time on trying to create order out of chaos, the laws of physics say it cannot be done!

I'm with Pigpen on this one. A couple of hours, 3 or 4 times a year, with a roll of binliners, and job done. No-one notices that anything is missing, they're too busy trying to work out where their phone charger/school bus pass/work jacket is. It doesn't make anyone's life any easier but I'm a woman, it's what I'm supposed to do! :rotfl:

And I certainly don't bother cleaning the inside of my oven. Any germs in there will be destroyed by half an hour of gas mark 6 anyway so what's the problem? :D

It is not so much the hygiene, but the efficiency. The layer of grime absorbs heat and gives off noxious gasses, which adversely affect the way food cooks.

barbiedoll

Flyboy152 wrote: »

It is not so much the hygiene, but the efficiency. The layer of grime absorbs heat and gives off noxious gasses, which adversely affect the way food cooks.

With my cooking, that's probably a blessing! :rotfl:

Derivative

Get him to do things that need doing, not that you want doing. I reckon trying to get him to do the hoovering will be a non starter - up to me I'd do it once every 6 months or when I spilled something, whichever comes first. Same with dusting and other various non-essential jobs.

Sorting out the toilet or washing up are probably better options. Things that the house would cease to function without. Then you can do the 'optionals' (to him), if he cared enough he'd do them himself.

red_devil

pigpen wrote: »

Please may I borrow her??????

Give him a list of stuff which you have agreed with him.. he isn't lazy he is just a man.. unless they have an actual direct instruction they are incapable of independant thought when it comes to the practicalities of running a home and dressing children.

Maybe leave the children their clothes out the night before?

I'd have him doing all sorts.. and no reason he shouldn't he lives there too!

Stereotype alert. Not all men are like the op's mine isnt!;)

somethingsgottogive

My OH is as wonderfully messy as I am, but always helps out when I need to sort the house out for friends/family coming over. One thing I have noticed, that drives me crazy, is the way he gets distracted arranging the books/alphabetising CDs/painting walls/fixing the clock etc when there's 1001 things to be picked up off the floor, bathrooms to be cleaned, a laundry mountain and 4 days of washing up to be done!