Stripper Opinions - but fear I may regret it.

Plans_all_plans

No I wouldn't see a male stripper. I find them even more tacky than female strippers and I'd expect my husband to be offended if I wanted to see them. It's not because I fear he'll run off with the stripper that I dislike them...I just find the whole idea of male/females taking off their clothes for money awful. I am also against page 3 and the like too.

Of course I have seen men I find attractive in the street etc, but I am not seeking them out for the sole purpose of looking at them: that's the difference.

GracieP

skintchick wrote: »

For what it's worth, if my OH went to strip club it would be a divorcing issue, and he knows it. I don't see ogling other women for sexual titillation as 'harmless' or indeed 'fun' (theussual comment about such activity) and he knows it's a dealbreaker.

Different marriages have different levels of fidelity, some people swing, others can be polyamorous as long as there is total disclosure, others are completely monogamous. As far as my marriage is concerned going to stripclub is cheating.

Additionally to being a step outside the bounds of our marriage, enjoying strippers requires an ability to objectify a person in a way that makes anyone capable of it into the type of person I couldn't respect enough to share my life with.

RoxieW

Perhaps my wording wasn't clear - he found out that I'd overspent that particular month. He also ways had full access to the bank accounts and knew the balance.

Lifes_Grand_Plan

janninew wrote: »

Just out of interest (its always good to get a mans view!) would you mind you wife watching men dance naked and getting a private dance? Did you tell your wife? Lots of men I know have the attitude that boys will be boys, but would be horrified if their partners acted in the same way!

Hi janninew,

No I wouldn't mind my wife going to see male strippers one bit, as long as she doesn't cheat on me (and I trust her not to) then I am fine with it. Its just a bunch of women having a laugh.

My wife said to me before I went on the stag that she didn't want to know what I got up to (with a smile on her face).... she knows I went to a stip club, but again I know she trusts me so doesn't mind what I do as long as I don't cheat on her (which I didn't and wouldn't).

I think the problem for the OP is not strippers per se, but trust issues within the relationship.

Plans_all_plans

GracieP wrote: »

Additionally to being a step outside the bounds of our marriage, enjoying strippers requires an ability to objectify a person in a way that makes anyone capable of it into the type of person I couldn't respect enough to share my life with.

Fantastically well put GracieP and if I could thank you twice for the comment I would. It's what I was thinking, but couldn't quite find the right way of putting it.

skintchick

Lifes_Grand_Plan wrote: »

Question for all the people who have a problem with their husbands / o/h watching strippers:

Would you / have you been to see male strippers - chippendales or whatever they are called now?

Are these same people really saying they've never checked out blokes in the street, around the pool on holiday, in films and had a crush on such and such a film star....? Whats the difference?

Have I been to see strippers? No. Would I? No. Are male strippers generally very different from female lapdancers? Yes, although that isn;t entirely the point.

Of course I have checked out men - when I was single. I do not look now because I am in a relationship. No, I don;t have crushes on random people, how weird.

And the diffference would be going to a place specifically to look at other women, specficially to be turned on by them, perhaps also specifically to have a private dance (although it's not actually dancing is it), again specifically to be turned on by them. And that's before we get into the issue of paying for it, and how the sex industry and the pornification of society are affecting the way we relate to people, and the way our children view relationships and sex.

I cannot understand why people think it's OK to get sexually turned on by other people when they are in a relationship. Personally, I think that accepting that from a partner is the example of low self-esteem. Not the other way round.

RoxieW

Plans and Gracie - thank you. That is my opinion on the subject. What hurts is that he knows this but still was so intent on trying to set it up, obv in secret as he had already told me he wouldn't go to a stripper again.

RedwoodBrook

Out of pure interest - Do all the women who dislike strip clubs also dislike pornography?

RoxieW

Also skintchick thank you. Thought I was going insane for a minute. I'm thankful for the perspective of other posters though - yes even you fang.

Tropez

skintchick wrote: »

I cannot understand why people think it's OK to get sexually turned on by other people when they are in a relationship. Personally, I think that accepting that from a partner is the example of low self-esteem. Not the other way round.

But what about in the case that I mentioned earlier where it was my partner herself who took me to a strip club, and even paid for a dance? Is that low self-esteem on her part?