Stripper Opinions - but fear I may regret it.

Tropez

janninew wrote: »

Just out of interest (its always good to get a mans view!) would you mind you wife watching men dance naked and getting a private dance? Did you tell your wife? Lots of men I know have the attitude that boys will be boys, but would be horrified if their partners acted in the same way!

My partner's been to see the Chippendales... although I don't think they do private dances.

nat21luv

If that was me I wouldnt have said anything until it happened-whats the point in crying over spilt milk?! He probably went out and got drunk after you 'confronted' him because you confronted him! Think I'd need a drink to after a confrontational argument with a jealous partner. Like you, I too wouldnt appreciate my partner visiting a strip club ect but I trust my partner not to do that and thats called respect. I trust him not to cross that line and he respects my opinions and my trust. Think you need to take a step back and give him some space and see the kind of wife you are; a highly strung, possessive, jealous one. You need to relax a bit in your relationship otherwise you'll drive him away.

RoxieW

Fang, I'm not sure where you're getting this from but there was no secret debt. We both over spent - me on clothes for his friends wedding, him on an iPad, and both of us on holidays. It was both of us doing the spending and if I said no he would twist my arm. Looking back, the issue was he wasn't realistic about out spending - as a couple - and that has become more apparent as he now has control of the finances. For example he recently did a savings plan that was completely unrealistic and didn't include any spends for birthdays, Xmas, holidays, days out - anything other than the basic essentials really. Then he gets angry and frustrated that his 'targets' can't be met. I hope that helps.

With regard to controlling - he goes out when he likes, plays sport, meets up with friends etc. He was actually going to the pub this aft to watch rugby anyway - with my blessing, despite the fact that I had to work from home with three children in tow. He just decided to get hammered and stay out for hours on end instead.

Lifes_Grand_Plan

Question for all the people who have a problem with their husbands / o/h watching strippers:

Would you / have you been to see male strippers - chippendales or whatever they are called now?

Are these same people really saying they've never checked out blokes in the street, around the pool on holiday, in films and had a crush on such and such a film star....? Whats the difference?

dmg24

Tish_P wrote: »

Oh dmg, do tell us how strippers, and banter about "nailing" them, have nothing to do with the objectification of women! I could do with a laugh.

I'm not going into details, but my view is from within the industry. Do the strippers feel that they are being objectified? Nope, they see it that they are earning far more than they would otherwise by doing something that they enjoy.

dmg24

Tropez wrote: »

My partner's been to see the Chippendales... although I don't think they do private dances.

Some of them do private work.

janninew

Lifes_Grand_Plan wrote: »

Question for all the people who have a problem with their husbands / o/h watching strippers:

Would you / have you been to see male strippers - chippendales or whatever they are called now?

Are these same people really saying they've never checked out blokes in the street, around the pool on holiday, in films and had a crush on such and such a film star....? Whats the difference?

I have never been to see male strippers, were would you go? In my city there are loads of strip places for men, none for ladies though! I can honestly say it doesn't appeal to me at all, I don't want some random stranger wiggling his bits in my face!!

Fang_3

RoxieW wrote: »

Fang, I'm not sure where you're getting this from but there was no secret debt. We both over spent - me on clothes for his friends wedding, him on an iPad, and both of us on holidays. It was both of us doing the spending and if I said no he would twist my arm. Looking back, the issue was he wasn't realistic about out spending - as a couple - and that has become more apparent as he now has control of the finances. For example he recently did a savings plan that was completely unrealistic and didn't include any spends for birthdays, Xmas, holidays, days out - anything other than the basic essentials really. Then he gets angry and frustrated that his 'targets' can't be met. I hope that helps.

With regard to controlling - he goes out when he likes, plays sport, meets up with friends etc. He was actually going to the pub this aft to watch rugby anyway - with my blessing, despite the fact that I had to work from home with three children in tow. He just decided to get hammered and stay out for hours on end instead.

You said that your OH 'found out' about your debt and the proverbial hit the fan. Now that rather suggests a secret debt.

Tropez

dmg24 wrote: »

Some of them do private work.

Really? That's her next birthday present taken care of then.

RoxieW

Fang - like I said I've been working on the self esteem so that's a huge complement thanks.
Nat21, I don't see how are situations are different ? I also don't like the idea of him going to strip clubs, have conveyed this and trusted him not to Instigate this. And btw I only confronted him when pushed because I didn't want a scene as the children were in the room and it certainly wasn't a huge dingdong. I just let him know what I'd seen and that I was hurt, disappointed and peed off!