How to start again with nothing

rainbowrisin

Oh F-G, big ((((((hugs)))))) today for you. IMHO if you can get away for a few days even to your brother's to try and think straight that would help. I am a DV survivor, and suffered wicked emotional abuse, as well as physical and sexual, and still have the scars to proove it. I realised for a number of years that how I was being treated wasn't right, tried to leave once after a hiding, but he tracked me down and began stalking me - nothing bad enough to report to the police (he was too clever for that, and had done exactly the same thing in his previous relationship), so I caved in as usual and went back. things went on, I had the littlies, then, one day, something clicked in my head after a particular episode and I just thought no one is EVER going to treat me like this again, and got out. Best thing I ever did.
After my "light bulb" moment, it was only a case of bidding my time and waiting for the right opportunity, I knew I wasn't going to stay, and there was no way on gods earth.
I was going to allow the littlies to be emotionally destroyed by him.
I found that leaving was the catalyst for a number of other problems in my life to begin sorting themselves out, including dreadful anxiety and various social phobias - as soon as I left they began to resolve themselves. I'm not out of the woods yet, but have definitely turned a corner.
My point is that I would think if you could concentrate on sorting out the issues you have at the moment one by one, then I wonder if quite a few would improve as a result. Perhaps if you left then your health and drinking (please don't) might begin to improve? Or if you are able to in some way tackle your health issues then that might give you the boost you need to sort out your relationship one way or the other?
C'mon hun, chin up eh? There are some really good suggestions coming out on this thread - maybe make a list of the things you need to do as a result and get going? (((hugs)))

elona

feelinggood

How are you getting on now?

feelinggood_2

elona wrote:

feelinggood

How are you getting on now?

I'm awaiting a phone call about IB and DLA, within the next 5 days I should know if I'll be able to get anything. Once I've found out what I can get, I can start thinking about where to go - I want to find somewhere for myself, so if I can get by I will find a bedsit or something. If not, I suppose I'd have to get in touch with womans aid. I've not asked the concil yet, will wait to find out about the benefits. I think I can always stay with my brother if I absolutely have to - but that isn't a garentee, and like someone said, isn't a long term solution.
I'm doing okay, its starting to sink in, and my mind keeps going over all the ins and outs, what I have to pack, what I'm going to write in the letter, how I'm going to tell my mum, who is going to save me from spiders, where I am gonna go, if I'll be able to keep the same doctor.
Its scary, scary stuff, but I'm coping.
Thank you for asking, and thank you all again for all your advice - my head isn't all that clear at the moment, so it was very good of you all to spell things out and give links and stuff - its made it so much easier.
Thank you xx