How to start again with nothing

Spikey_2

feelinggood wrote:

Yeah I am
Theres no one I can depend on but me
And I need a drink :-/
I'm going to wait till 2pm tho.

Ok...if that is how you feel....:(

FG you know you don't want to drink and you know you don't need it either....

feelinggood_2

Spikey wrote:

Ok...if that is how you feel....:(

FG you know you don't want to drink and you know you don't need it either....

I do need it - things hurt too much to not have it.
I'd like to think I have a friend, but If push came to shove, would he really be there for me?

rainbowrisin

IMHO there are a number of issues here - Is there really no hope for the relationship? Presumably when you married your OH it was on the basis of a lifetime partnership - is there any way at all the two of you could try and find a way forward - does he see there are any problems with the relationship at all?
If you genuinely want out, then you do need to be applying for benefits, as the process takes a few weeks / months and if it is to be your only source of income then you need to get the ball rolling. I would suggest you are honest with your OH about this, but obviously that's up to you.
As from what you've said DV isn't an issue, is it possible for you to stay for a while longer in order to have time to build some friendships and support networks near to you - you sound quite isolated, and I think it would be really helpful to try and have a few "real" people and places you can go as well as us virtual beings. I don't know the nature of your health problems, but I would have thought to move now and become even more isolated could only make things worse. Having a few places to go and people to see might well make things easier when you move, as you wouldn't be totally cut off.
Staying a while longer would also enable you to contact housing associations and the council and find out what your rights would be if you declared yourself homeless - many years ago I know women would always be found a place in a hostel as it was felt they would be vulnerable on the streets, but am not sure if this is still the case, and TBH homeless hostels are not desperately pleasant places (speaking from personal experience), particularly if you are ill.
I also think you need to try and be as fit as possible before moving out - a relationship breakup is stressful enough, without a particularly bad bout of ill health to contend with as well.
(((((hugs)))))) to you, as you sound so lonely - hope things brighten up for you soon.

peskie_pixie

feelinggood wrote:

I'm just filling in the form - they don't make it easy do they.
I've not claimed as I felt that I shouldn't if I didn't need to.

Stick with the form, it took me a whole afternoon to do, but was worth it in the end cos got high mobility and middle care, and you wouldn't believe how much it helps ( I know i'm one of the lucky ones cos reading the posts on here a lot get turned down) There is a technique to filling it in and i found the following site really made a big difference:

http://www.bhas.org.uk/freeguides/dla_guides.shtml

And don't feel guilty for claiming anything you're entitled to.

Keep plugging away, and although it's not the same as having real flesh and blood mates, we're all rooting for you xx

ps i didn't tell my folks until i'd got it straight in my head and knew exactly what i was going to do and how i was going to do it

Spikey_2

feelinggood wrote:

I do need it - things hurt too much to not have it.
I'd like to think I have a friend, but If push came to shove, would he really be there for me?[/quote]

You know the answer to that hun...xxxxx

rainbowrisin

feelinggood wrote:

Yeah I am
Theres no one I can depend on but me
And I need a drink :-/
I'm going to wait till 2pm tho.

You do not NEED to have a drink - you are CHOOSING to have a drink. I would suggest instead of getting ratted and feeling sorry for yourself you get off down to your nearest Drug and Alcohol Support Project / Samaritans / Drop In, or whatever and ask to talk to someone about how you feel and why you are drinking as you are.
You're not going to be able to sort your life out lushing it up, are you?

choccyface2006

FG...I empathise with you as I have been in a similar position. I left my husband too and had to start again from scratch. I felt it was my choice to leave the marriage and so wanted nothing material from it apart from a few personal but worthless belongings.

My parents and friends (of which I lost many) were outraged but still suportive, I can't imagine what it would have been like without them.

I can't imagine being in your position without anyone to turn to, I really feel for you. ((hugs))

Is your husband in agreement that the marriage is over? If so, can you talk to him and discuss where you go from here and how to go your seperate ways as amicably as possible? Or is he oblivious to the problems and you need to move out asap (as was in my case)

I'm afraid I don't have any good advice but I want you to know that I am thinking of you.

Sarah x

feelinggood_2

He wont accept that there is any problems. He likes to bury his head in the sand. He won't even accept that I am ill - I've got to fight him to get any sort of treatment.
I've almost finished applying for things, will see what happens with that.
Thanks for all the advice, and thank you for not all having a go at me for being a bad wife.

Spikey_2

Spikey wrote:

feelinggood wrote:

I do need it - things hurt too much to not have it.
I'd like to think I have a friend, but If push came to shove, would he really be there for me?[/quote]

do you know that answer?
You know the answer to that hun...xxxxx

feelinggood_2

Would he really let me kip on his sofa tho?