How to start again with nothing

feelinggood_2

victory wrote:

could you not ring the C.A.B then? Do they not have an online website? Could you not ring your doctor, do they have counsellors there that could help you or at least put you in touch with a number that can help you xxx

I will ring them tomorrow to get some more advice. I've filled out my claim forms for two of the benefits I think I can recieve, and will call to find out if there is anything else I need to claim, and where to get advice about housing.
Thanks xxx

lil_me

If you explain to CAB that you are housebound then they can either send someone round or arrange for a telephone consultation.

donna1987

i've just read this thread and firstly would like to say my heart goes out to you!
i just thought you should know that if you are married and claiming means tested benefits(this doesn't include DLA) such as Incapacity Benefit, they require information about your husband and his earnings-and he has to know about it, so i really think you should contact your local jobcentre plus' beneift department and explain the situation to them and get advice on how to claim in these circumstances before you submit your claims to them, they do allow for exceptional circumstances and will then make sure they don't do anything in the claim process to alert your husband. Also they'll be able to advise you on what you are entitled to and where to go for help with Housing Benefit and finding council accommodation.
i presume you have mobility problems??? if this is the case you will be high priority for council housing in these circumstances and they may even be able to offer you some sort of supported housing(this is were you have adjustments to the property and sometimes a special phone that you can use to contact a local warden if you have an accident in your home or need to leave the house but need help). Alot of the time the council have these adjusted properties in close proximity to one another, so if you can get something like this-it would be good for you as your neighbours will know exactly what your going through with your illness so you could make good, supportive friends near-by.

i wish you luck in finding your way through this and hope the future will be alot brighter than you feel it is!!! big hugs to you

black-saturn

But am I right in thinking they won't offer her council accommodation if she makes herself intentionally homeless? The only way to get over that is to go through Women's Aid.

donna1987

black-saturn wrote:

But am I right in thinking they won't offer her council accommodation if she makes herself intentionally homeless? The only way to get over that is to go through Women's Aid.

if she speaks to them before moving out and explains the situation and why she needs to leave-its not making yourself intentionally homeless as she has to leave to escape emotional abuse. they do however look more favourably and give higher priority on cases that come through organisations such as womens aid so i would go to them to see how they can help you also.

feelinggood_2

hes not abusive, its me

whatamess_2

fg you can be strong, if there is definatley no hope for the marriage.

bs has done it. I have, and heaven knows how many others, father of my children was abusive, mentally and physically.

walked out with clothes for me and 3 boys 14 years ok, best thing ever.

Do what is right for you not everyone else.

Try not to become dependant on drink to get you through the day, the relief you feel while drinking is temporary it doesnt make things go away.

feelinggood_2

He doesn't do anything to me, if i was a batter wife it'd be ok
if i wasn't ill, things would better

whatamess_2

Maybe getting some benefits will give you some independance.

This in turn will make you feel stronger as a person.

Savvy_Sue

feelinggood wrote:

He doesn't do anything to me, if i was a batter wife it'd be ok
if i wasn't ill, things would better

Abuse does not have to be physical to be abuse.

Do you think he will be physically abusive if you force him to face the issues and say you are thinking of leaving?

Even if he won't come with you, you can go to Relate on your own, and they might also help you work out where to go next.