MSE Parents Club Part 16

supermaiden

Hello, not posted here before but I became a mummy in July to alittle boy. He is now 4 weeks old.
I am wanting to get him into a better routine when it comes to feeding as he is a little all over the place and wants feeds at all different times throughout the day and there is no pattern to it, 1 and half hours, 3 hours, 2 and half etc etc. He doesnt sleep for long at night and wakes up generally every 2 and half hours after his last feed has finished.

I was wondering if anyone here would be able to advise on what is best to do.
I was thinking of trying to get him to space his feeds every 4 hours (if he can, not going to force him but just wait an extra 10 minutes if he can be settled so that it can get to 4 hours eventually. He has done a couple of 4 hour feeds so I know he can do it, its just should he be made to?

Yesterday I tried this and gave him a dummy and he settled. He wont normally take a dummy but he did which surprised me. It was one of my rules before having him that he wouldnt have a dummy, mainly because of the breastfeeding issues but he is now formula fed. Daddy doesnt like dummies so took it off him and baby went on to happily suck his thumb for half an hour and went between awake and nodding off bless him.

So yeah, if anyone can give advice as this is all new to me and our first baby so Im really not sure what to do. I just keep hearing how other peoples babies slept through from 3 weeks etc and although I dont expect this, it is pretty tiring waking after a small amount of sleep as Im sure you all know.
Thankyou!

Edit to add: He is taking 120mls Aptamil and having 8-10 bottles in 24 hours.

Teenie_D

supermaiden wrote: »

. I just keep hearing how other peoples babies slept through from 3 weeks etc .

LOL this is what I kept hearing when I had DD and later found out it was a load of bull In particular we had friends who claimed their baby slept all night from a couple of weeks old yadda yadda but they slipped up a few times by saying they were up with her nearly every night and it would take them hours to settle her!

Not sure if I can help with the feeding I bf and feed J on demand, sometimes he would feed every 2 hours sometimes every 1 1/2 hrs and even on occasions (not very often mind you!) he goes 4 hours

It is very tiring especially in those first few weeks and it is important you get some rest but it is also pretty normal, they only have little tummies so need feeding little and often. I'm not sure how long it takes for your wee one to feed but you take it from the time they start the feed and not when they finish, iyswim? (if he wakes at say 1.30am and finishes his feed at 2am and wakes up at 4.30am again, he is going 3 hours inbetween feeds).

Also it's better if you fill him up during the day and he should settle better at night, so it's maybe better to try and not space his feeds out longer during the day?

As for the dummy it is a very personal thing, I didn't want a thumb sucker or a baby who used me for suckling, so a dummy it is and it works for us.

Lastly, because I have rambled so much-sorry you have probably heard it loads of times but it DOES get easier maybe not straight away but it will happen.

Good luck x

vroombroom

thanks Becles, it looks lovely, I think we might go on Sunday depending on the weather are dogs ok to go? x

Make-it-3

Agree with Teenie there, one of the first things you learn is that parents like to brag about how good/well behaved/advanced their baby is.

Problem is it makes you feel like you are a failure or getting behind somehow. Spend anytime on this thread and you're realise there's plenty of us with "normal" babies who aren't consistently sleeping thru at 6 months+

A bedtime routine is probably the first thing you'll be able to establish, but for us that didn't really gel till around 8-10 weeks. And as for daytimes, well they are still all over the place, just when you think you see a pattern it changes again. Growth spurts are notorious for upsetting routines.

For me the first weeks really dragged because its all sheer hard work and little reward. Co-sleeping really helped us but then I BF so milk is on tap.

CL

I agree with Teenie that it is very unlikely that any baby of 3 weeks is sleeping through. I think a lot of parents claim their LO is sleeping through to make them look like they are a brilliant parent. My LO only started sleeping through (and by that I mean 7.30pm until at least 6am) at 5 months, and then it was not every night (and still isn't every night at 8 months old.)

Sorry I can't be much help Supermaiden about the feeding as my LO was BF on demand too, but I found with my LO that I could try to force a routine if I wanted, but babies do what they want until they are a least 4 months. I found fighting it tiring and fruitless. I just went with her until she created a routine of her own.

CL

Make-it-3 wrote: »

Co-sleeping really helped us but then I BF so milk is on tap.

I also found that my LO slept much longer and better in bed with me. It was the only way in the early days I got good blocks of sleep.

pigpen

Supermaiden.. most of mine slept through from a few weeks old.. I didnt do anything differently with any of them some just slept.. DS1 slept through from 10pm-6am from 5 days, DD2 slept through from about 2 weeks, DD4 slept through from 2 weeks, DD5 slept through from 1 week and Squeak slept through from 3 days...

DD1 didnt sleep for 6 months, day or night!
DS2 didnt sleep through until he started nursery at 3
DS3 slept through from 18 months when he was moved out of my room and we got his reflux under control.
DD3 is nearly 11 and it is still hit and miss whether she will be up at 3am or not..

They were all breastfed, they were all treat exactly the same, there was no one thing that made any difference to any of them..

Some babies sleep... and some dont.. the same as some adults need more sleep than others..

a block of 5 hours is classed as sleeping through.. so if you are getting that block of sleep that is sleeping through.. if he does it during the day you need to switch it so he is doing that at night rather than during the day... just wake him earlier and force the issue if you have to.. it feels mean but sometimes we have to do things that seem mean in order to make their lives better..

The 1 thing I would suggest is do not feed him at intervals of less than 2 hours.. he doesnt need to be fed that often and if they are fed that often they dont seem to settle as well because they are always having a top up rather than an actual feed and getting used to feeling hungry and full up.

supermaiden

pigpen wrote: »

The 1 thing I would suggest is do not feed him at intervals of less than 2 hours.. he doesnt need to be fed that often and if they are fed that often they dont seem to settle as well because they are always having a top up rather than an actual feed and getting used to feeling hungry and full up.

I figured this oput as he does it sometimes but obviously he cant be hungry as he just ate. Its difficult to know what to do for the best with him being my first baby (and possibly last at this rate lol:rotfl:).
The breastfeeding didnt work out so now we are on formula. I am thinking I will write down his feeds so I know and can see any patterns that are emerging.
Im also not sure if what he is wanting is just to suck for soothing/comfort as we havent been giving him a dummy and we didnt want to but the last 2 days I have let him have one when he is fighting the bottle and when I think he just wants to suck rather than eat. He has settled and went to sleep after fighting his bottle so I guess that is what he wants? Its all so confusing.

In other news, I got the implant last night and my arm is sore as heck. Its like its the top part is poking out my arm and you can see it pointing out, very sore and not at all comfy. Baby slept at my parents last night to give us a break and I still didnt sleep well due to my arm as I couldnt put it many ways without it hurting. Got a big nasty bruise too lol I bruise too easy!

madnessandmayhem

Hi everyone!!!
Sorry, i've not posted for agggeeessss, but i have been lurking

Supermaiden-Max is number 3 for me and I still dont feel like i know what i'm doing lol:rotfl: He will be 14 weeks tomorrow and still wakes in the night-he goes to bed 7-7.30, but takes a while to settle with me having to keep going and 'shhhhh-ing' him, I think he gets a bit over tired which makes it harder for him, but i've tried putting him up earlier and he just doesn't have any of it lol he then sleeps till about 2ish (usually!), has a feed and back asleep within about 30-45min, then wakes about 5am, and I normally give up trying to get him to go back to sleep at about 5.30 and we get up lol Ds 1 was an angel baby-from 5 weeks he was sleeping from 8pm-5am, and having a nap from 9.30-12 and again at 3-5, and ds 2 was a nightmare sleeper, and Max is a little better.
I came to the conclusion that it's because DS 2 and Max 'learnt' to fall asleep with the movement of the pushchair on the school run, and ds 1 learnt to get himself to sleep in his cot-unfortunatley I cant do much about it, and as much as i try to get him to sleep in his moses basket in the day he just wont!
Hopefully will be putting him in his cot next week-he is getting a bit big for his moses basket now (his head touches one end, at the same time as his feet touching the other!!), but we went to the in laws for a few days at the start of the week, and i didnt want to confuse him by keep changing his 'bed' lol that and there are 2 old matresses that have recently been replaced in his bedroom DH is off work until next monday so he can take them to the tip lol
anyway, i am cream crackered so going to head to bed (if i can be bothered to get off the sofa lol)
Hopefully will catch up with you all soon!!!!!!

Becles

vroombroom wrote: »

thanks Becles, it looks lovely, I think we might go on Sunday depending on the weather are dogs ok to go? x

Yes dogs are fine as long as they are kept on the lead. You have to walk over farm land to get to it and there were cows and sheep everywhere. I've got those extending leads and mine were fine on a long lead most of the time. I put them on short leads when the cows and sheep were near the path, but they just ignored us even though the dogs seemed keen to round them all up

I like routines for bed time. All of mine had a bath and bed routine from birth and I think that helped settle them and make them realise night times are for sleeping.

It's trial and error and working out what works best for you though.