MSE Parents Club Part 16

MERFE

Morning all

Havent been on in a while and havent managed to catch up - its got really busy again. Half term was manic and then it was DS party which was great, they loved the bouncy castle and the boys were all really good. There was only one that kept asking questions, are there party bags, whats in them, what are we doing next etc and play fighting which the others didnt want to join in but he listened well when I told him to stop. There was one lad who kept falling over every time he came in the house so hubby has nickname him bambi (not to him or the kids obviously), there was a time when we first moved in and OH used furniture polish on the floor and it was so slippery but he honestly hadnt this time.

I'm not convinced about BLW for all babies, I did it with my second and I think it was a really new thing then but he was happy with just milk. TBH I think it stunted him, not saying that to scare anyone I just think now looking back that is what happened. He was in 9-12month clothes by 5 months and didnt come out of them till he was nearly 18 months, but he is one for not growing for a whole year then shoting up a good few inches overnight as well, its hard to tell. Either way he was capable of feeding himself and did it well and seemed to like most foods etc However there is no way Bob has the same developement and would be capable of the same thing, he can however feed himself from the spoon if I load it for him and he can eat some finger foods, but to make sure he is getting enough I give him some purees too.

Can they eat too much fruit? Bob is my fussiest yet and will only tolerate a small amount of veg puree or finger foods but will eat fruit all day long. I'm worried about it being acidic and also full of sugar. I gave him a little bit of cheese on toast last night and OH gave him a bit of omlette at lunchtime, both went down well so other foods are starting to be more available but he still seems to be eating alot of fruit. I have to mix some fruit puree into his weetabix for breakfast otherwise he is sick.

jennynoo

rach wrote: »

I've really worried myself by reading about how leaving a baby to cry can be damaging I feel sad that I gave in and did it when we said we never would. He is sleeping loads better now, though sometimes wakes and crys for a few minutes. but i feel sad if that's because he knows no one will come

Part of mission make myself feel less frumpy has been completed with a fab new haircut. Friend's sister (proper hairdresser) did it and only charges £20. Had loads off. Thursday's job is choose new glasses!

I don't think that things we do now are irreversible - if you are attentive now and don't let him cry surely LO will eventually realise that actually you will come if he cries. I think that is a lot of the problem with all these parenting techniques - not realising that people can change and what you do now does not necessarily have to effect LO for the rest of their life - only if you keep doing it.

Did you see the thing about free glasses from Lensway? I got some when they did it a couple of weeks ago - they haven't arrived yet but the process so far has been quite easy.

jennynoo

gizmodo wrote: »

...



I've got spots 31 years old and have never got rid of the things. They make my life miserable. Before TTC I was on antibiotics and had clear skin, but I've not been able to take them again and now I'm BF and then I'll be TTC again. I'm to worried about using benzoyl something or other (about the only cream that helps) incase it makes it's way to the milk! I'm sure it'd be fine, but would rather suffer the spots for now.

...

I've always had problems with spots and used all sorts of expensive stuff but now I just use sudocrem! I still get spots but it does seem to be less and every outbreak doesn't get as bad as it used to and clears up quicker. Also I worry a lot less about any harm it might do while BF or if I get pregnant again. Also read something the other day that fringes are the worst thing for facial spots - the hair just spread the bacterial or whatever so best to keep hair away from the face. HTH

Beccles - hope you are your brood are feeling better today.

On the BLW front despite BLW religiously Erin has now got lazy and wants us to feed her!

rach wrote: »

...

I'm still trying to get to the bottom of the mess that's my maternity leave. Not sure how much I said but it tuns out even a fixed term contract can't just end on ml so the info i'd been given by head of dept was completely wrong and HR were expecting me to come back basically as soon as my mat leave ends and leave taken (9 months which i'd said i was taking ends 19th june) and work 12 weeks notice they will issue me then whilst they try to redeploy me. I still have no clarity from them and clearly can't go back as we've no childcare because they had told me i wasn't going back...plus still bf 4-5 times a day! Currently trying to agree that i can go on the redeployment list whilst on unpaid mat leave.

You can sometimes get childcare if you go round the nurseries and ask - they sometimes have people who leave so can get you a place quickly, one of my friends had to do this. Also don't worry too much about the breastfeeding, I was still bf Erin on demand before I went back to work (at 11 months) but it didn't seem to cause Erin a problem at all, even going 8am - 6pm although I did have to feed her as soon as I got in. She just seemed to accept that without me there she wasn't going to get any milk.

Becles

keelykat wrote: »

Did anyone happen to watch Real Rescues on BBC1 this morning? A 7 month old boy was choking on food, and almost stopped breathing.

I didn't see it, but would highly recommend that everyone does a baby and child first aid course. I did one at the Sure Start centre when Charlotte was a baby. It was tagged on as an extra session on a baby massage course I did.

My brother was about two and he'd been caught stealing a biscuit and stuffed it in his mouth to hide the evidence. It got wedged in his throat and he was choking. My Mam knew straight away the position to get him in and where to slap him on the back, and thankfully no harm was done.

Accidents can happen at any time, and you can save a life if you know what to do.

rach wrote: »

I've really worried myself by reading about how leaving a baby to cry can be damaging I feel sad that I gave in and did it when we said we never would.

I'm sure you are not letting a baby scream in distress as any parent would know they need attention and do something about it. I'm sure you haven't caused any damage at all.

If it's niggly fighting sleep cries, there is no harm in leaving the baby to try and settle themselves. It's a skill they need to learn that sometimes they need to look after themselves rather than have Mammy on hand 24/7.

If you give in to every whim, there comes a point where you have to stop doing that which is much harder when they get older.

I was guilty of pandering to Josh too much, which I'm sure made him really clingy and led to drama queen antics when I had to leave him at nursery etc.

I didn't pander to James and Charlotte and let them cry a bit, but they have grown up less clingy and settled better at school etc.

All of mine have been in their own rooms since birth, although I know this is against guidelines. I can't sleep if they are there. Josh was in with me for two nights, and I was just on edge all night thinking that with every snuffly noise he made, he was going to wake for a feed. Once he moved out and I couldn't hear the snuffly noises, I slept better.

You've got to balance your own sleep patterns and a Mammy who's had some decent sleep and is alert is much more fun than a knackered zombie Mammy

Getting back to normal here after the bugs. Charlotte is fully recovered and back to her normal bouncy self. Her boyfriend at nursery has missed her and I left them hugging and kissing each other at lunchtime

Josh is still off school but he's on the mend and has started eating again today which means he's feeling better. I know he's really bad when he refuses food, as he's a human dustbin and usually eats his meal, plus everyone else's left overs!

Hope everyone is having a good day xx

rach

hi all

I feel so much better with my new haircut! it has relaxed a bit this morning, she had to make it v smooth/straihtened last night to check it was done well. She's a fab hairdresser, spent loads more time than in a salon and only £20! I usually pay £45!

Have been to the bf supporter training with sir m this morning, really enjoying it. i sometimes worry i say too much though, oops! I also managed to clumsily knock over a cuppa i made for sir m all over the floor oops. :T

I have my counselling later, fil is mean to be taking ds to his up the road to look after him, but ds only went to sleep at 2ish after an hour of chatting and crawling round the cot! hopefully he'll be happy to have him here and take him up there in time for his visitor at 4ish as I don't want to wake him if he wants to sleep!

I've also decided to start doing some signing with L and have bought some second hand bits to help me. quite excited though dh will probably put a dampner on it!

jennynoo wrote: »

You can sometimes get childcare if you go round the nurseries and ask - they sometimes have people who leave so can get you a place quickly, one of my friends had to do this. Also don't worry too much about the breastfeeding, I was still bf Erin on demand before I went back to work (at 11 months) but it didn't seem to cause Erin a problem at all, even going 8am - 6pm although I did have to feed her as soon as I got in. She just seemed to accept that without me there she wasn't going to get any milk.

Thanks, tbh i am emotionally not ready to go back, and I had been told by them I didn't have a job and wouldn't be returning so don't see why I should rush around to sort childcare. It's pretty apalling that despite asking for someone more senior than the useless HR administrator no one has contacted me. I'm going to be speaking to a friend who's a specialist in employment law tonight before I phone to chase it tomorrow.


Thanks for all the comments re the crying, it was really only 3 nights and he is now sleeping better and is happier all over. He's waking up most nights once but only cries out for a couple of minutes then goes back to sleep.

I had him in with me as long as I could, I think he was almost 5 months when he went into his own room as he had finally outgrown the (big) moses basket and the corbed wouldn't fit in our room.

jennynoo

Rach, where are you doing the bf supporter training? I looked into it and it meant going to waterloo every week for 8 weeks which is quite far and then you have to be reassessed every month otherwise you have to repeat the training. It just all sounded a bit to much for me what with working 4 days a week but maybe if I get pregnant again I will look at it.

We did the sing and sign classes and got the DVD, I've probably mentioned it before - Erin loved it and signs loads now. Her favourite at the moment is biscuit.

rach

we're doing it through Croydon NHS, it's at a children's centre for9 weeks too and we have to commit to helping at the baby cafes i think once a month for 6 months. I'm hoping i can fit it in even if back at work, i found the baby cafe invauable in keeping going. I'm also going to look into doing the peer2peer supporter which is more working with one mum at a time, which i think would suit me too. It all depends on work really, i know what you mean about time! Where abouts are you?

I'm hoping that in the 3 months i had extra my self emp work will take off as moneywise i can earn as much working half a week as i did in my job full time, plus it's so much more flexible. Even if i find something through redeployment i only want max 3 days so i can keep trying to build this up!

I did look into sing and sign as my friend used to teach them but the term has already started and the timings don't work at the moment, bit skint too!

jennynoo

I live in Streatham so come under Lambeth. That's a shame about missing the term, if you can get the dvd that's good as I found it much easier to learn the signs once I'd learnt the songs and it helps to stick to a few useful signs to start with.

Make-it-3

Hello ladies

Its so good to get on here as I feel I’m not making much progress integrating with mum’s I meet in real life and I’m nodding my head with all of the sensible comments you guys make. As an example, I took LO to a trial Gymboree class today and she screamed all the way thru, so as usual I spent my time apologising for her and unable to focus on asking other mums about them, their babies or remembering anyone’s name.

It seems like all the other mum’s have busy social lives with their babies yet I feel like mine is so badly behaved it’s not MSE to sign up for any classes.

MV, can't believe Josh is so big and well behaved, considering we followed each other thru TTC and pregnancy we have such different babies now! My LO is only just over the 2nd centile, weighs 11lb. I can’t seem to get her to take more than a couple of catnaps during the day, so it’s hard going once she gets grouchy and over-tired.

*BigBird* wrote: »

I think the idea is that with purees the baby learns to swallow first and chewing comes later, whereas with BLW they learn to chew first and then to swallow. (But feel free to correct me!):(

BB I think you have hit the nail on the head exactly here. Because we want to BLW obviously we need to take our cues from LO. She is beginning to be curious when watching us eat so I want to get her socialised to eating (if that is the right term). I’m waiting for the Gill Rapley book to come into the library, but would this be the right way to start, let her sit at the table and see us eat before we actually give her anything?

I hope so, as like Giz, we have just ordered our highchair too, it’s the first time we’ve splashed out at all (eg have very old, 2nd hand pram) but I couldn’t resist one of the Bloom ones. I’ve also justified it on the basis that they fully recline so I can put her in it straight away. We need to buy a cot soon too, she also rocks the moses basket like crazy.

I’ve also had to give up co-sleeping at night as she won’t feed lying down anymore, so I’m now back to that new mum zombie stage of being fully awake to feed her. Rach, I’m also waiting for the Wonder Weeks book to arrive, although by my reckoning she should be over her 4 month growth spurt now! And I got my AF back at 3 months and it came again exactly 28 days later, not fair considering I’m BFing.

SirMonster – again nodding my head – been doing some reading and it’s the nasty formula companies that have put notions into people’s head that babies aren’t getting enough iron from BF and then food when they are ready, so they can push their “follow on milk”

Giz, OH and I have had plenty of arguments about how to deal with our little monster.

Sorry for the long post, so glad I came on here - its calmed me down. One of the mum's at Gymboree made me feel like my problems with DD ie not sleeping in day, no routine, her small size are all down to BFing. As she didn't bother and her boy is making great progress.:mad:

CL

Make-it-3 wrote: »

One of the mum's at Gymboree made me feel like my problems with DD ie not sleeping in day, no routine, her small size are all down to BFing. As she didn't bother and her boy is making great progress.

What a witch. She is just lucky. My LO has a few little patches of dry skin and DH has a little eczema. I just tell myself that she would be much worse if I didn't BF. Your LO may not have done nearly as well as she is now on formula.