MSE Parents Club Part 16

pigpen

Becles wrote: »

Morning

I've tried everything to get him to have more of a relationship with the children but he chooses not to bother.

The boys are older now and don't really want anything to do with him.

I could never turn my back on the boys, but I get a bit narked that I've had to do all the discipline, sorting out problems and all the less glamorous side of parenting by myself and he's taken no responsibility at all for them. He thinks paying maintenance money absolves him of any responsibility as whenever I've mentioned it, he points out he pays me each month and what more do I want?!

Off to work again this morning with bits and bobs to do. Have a good day all xx

Mine doesn't pay anything either which adds insult to injury.. and while you get the crappy side you also get the good things.. proms, parties, birthdays, love.. and all the other lovely things. My older 5 want nothing to do with him.

rach wrote: »

Pigpen that's so sad and upsetting. good on you for trying everything, they will thank you for it one day.

I think the older ones already do.. I tell them what I have said to him and they have heard his responses for themselves.

DD3 asked him to pay £32 for her a few days away with church because I said if he paid for one I could pay for the other and he told her no.. he had 4 months notice it wasn't like it was sprung on him!

Tiddles lg is sore still today.. she was limping a bit then really milked it when I asked to see.. it is bruising nicely and the redness is starting to fade but the graze is scabbing over..

jennynoo

Pigpen, I don't understand how she got grazed from being kicked, it must have been really hard or maybe they had stones stuck in the bottom of their shoes? Confused and angry on your behalf.

elainec I didn't do pur!e food and don't know what the stages are but if you are doing finger food as well then you should be able to try anything you eat. At nursery Erin gets a huge variety of food - much better than I can think of. My offerings last weekend for lunch were a cheese sandwich, a bacon sandwich and a mini baked potato with cheese (I have 3 day weekends ). She only eat bits but her teeth are bothering her at the moment. I think the general consensus before they are 1 or 2 (I hope!) is not to worry about what they eat each day but look at it over a week.

pigpen

jennynoo wrote: »

Pigpen, I don't understand how she got grazed from being kicked, it must have been really hard or maybe they had stones stuck in the bottom of their shoes? Confused and angry on your behalf.

I think it was just the upward motion of the boys trainers scuffing up her leg. It looks incrediby sore though

Becles

elainec wrote: »

We give him finger food for snacks, cheese, carrot sticks, rice cakes etc. For lunch and tea at moment ive been giving him a portion of the meal ive made . Running out of ideas of what to feed him though!

For lunch I usually have a sandwich, so mine had a small sandwich and some nibbly stuff such as cheese, carrot sticks etc.

For tea, I cook the same meal for everyone and they just had some of that. It wasn't really a hassle or time consuming doing food as and when I needed it.

pigpen wrote: »

Mine doesn't pay anything either which adds insult to injury.. and while you get the crappy side you also get the good things.. proms, parties, birthdays, love.. and all the other lovely things. My older 5 want nothing to do with him.

I know I get the good bits. I just get narked when boasts about how well behaved the boys are to his parents as if it's all his doing, when he's done bot all in bringing them up.

The money is difficult. It's less than I would get if I went through the CSA, but it does come regular and is always in my account at the beginning of each month.

I have considered perusing it under CSA, but you hear so many horror stories and he'd go ballistic. I've leaned towards accepting regular less and keeping things peaceful, rather than trying for more but being at the mercy of the CSA and having to put up with his anger again

The boys don't want anything to do with him either to be honest. He won't have them at Christmas and sees them in January instead and he expects a present from them. He then sees them for a two hour lunch date in June and September which happen to coincide with fathers day and his birthday so he comes expecting gifts for those. I'm stupid enough to buy things too just to keep the peace

pigpen

Becles.. My DD1 has is sussed.. she gets boots 3 for 2 stuff for friends at christmas and gets the 'free' thing for her dad .. from them all, with my boots points.. lol.. He got free thorntons chocs last christmas as noone liked them.. heehee.. He never gets anything for me and I give my mother £20 for her to give to DD1 to buy me a present.. She thinks my mother gives it.. but my mother is too poor supposedly so we do it this way. The children feel they have done right and I am happy as a result.. I'm just chasing court orders.. hopefully it will be sorted and the house is mine but if the order has been refused I will slap him hard with CSA.. that should curb his holidaying!

rach

elaine - re food we're not doing purees either, but for finger foods we are doing things like cheese on toast, pasta, strips of cheese, veg sticks, halved cherry tomatoes, fruit, yorkshire puddings, chicken, fish fingers. tonight I made some little mini meatballs and flattened them for him. could you make a meal out of that kind of thing? another favourite is little potatoes tossed in olive oil and baked, or wedges.

This thread is much quieter than I expected, thought it used to be really busy! Hope everyone has had a good day. I had my counselling which I started to help me get over the traumatic birth/rush to scbu etc but it has been generally helpful. Also had a quick coffee with sir monster and then with a couple of other ladies who i was at a first time mum's group with. L hasn't napped much so I'm not expecting a great night but time will tell I guess. He is starting to try and roll over in the cot and ends up sleeping on his side sometimes, should I worry?!

I'm also trying to liven up some nappies i bought, I have bought a few recently second hand, most are fine but one lot are rather more threadbare and grey than I'd like so am trying soaking in mild bleach solution!

pigpen

Would anyone like to swap lives for a bit?

DS1 has just been on the phone.. he wants me to speak to his xgf because she has said he can't see J any more and he is upset. I said no, i am not getting involved, TBH I wouldn't let him either the way he was screaming at her in the street yesterday calling her a moron and thick and a retard.. he is lucky he got to see him today! Anyway, he decided to start screaming at me down the phone so I hung up on him, now I am all that is evil for not siding with him and slating her, so not my style! Plus, I think he is wrong, she isn't the most intelligent person on the planet but that doesn't automatically mean she is wrong.

I really hope he moves out soon because i can't cope with much more of this. he was screaming at me earlier because I told him off for screaming at DD3.. other than he has no right to speak to anyone like that let alone his sister who is half his age I won't have it in my house.. I booted his father partly for that reason (and he was seeing a dirty slapper) and if he thinks he can come into my house carrying on like that he is in for a big big shock! It is a disgusting way to speak to anyone and I won't listen to it. anyway.. I am evil.

DD3 has been given 'open access' to enuretic clinic.. after they whinged and whined until I said I'd take her back they have said today it is a waste of time me going because DD3 does't want to be dry.. erm.. have I not been saying this for the last 3 years? Oh yeah, that would be me! Anyway, I am taking her to the quack over easter and DEMANDING a referral to a paed, a psychiatrist and urology.. there is something not quite right and they will find out what it is. Though after stopping the little blue psycho pills she improved hugely behaviour-wise. She had an impeforate hymen at birth and th paed that dealt with that said she might have other issues but they wouldn't know until she was older.. I think the wetting might be linked.. at least it is worth checking I guess.

On the whole today has seen DS1 being a !!!!!!, DD3 being apathetic and admitting she isn't bothered that she wets the bed and Squeak has developed the Land of Snot and has grizzled and grotted all day.. and refused to nap..

KH has said he isn't having them over easter.. lazy selfish piece of scum.. I hate him. I miht not have them over summer!!!!!

The judge rejected the financial affairs order because apparently I am not allowed to forego the right to claim maintanence for the children .. erm.. yes I am.. read the wording of the order you stupid man with the contents of a vacuum cleaner bag upon your head! (it says the house is mine and half the equity being about £10k and 2 years maintenance being about £10k means I don't have to give FW a lump sum.. but it says I will not instigate proceedings.. if the CSA take it upon themselves then I can assist their investigation.. so it is quite explicit) This is back at court this or next week..

The quacks haven't processed the letter from the paed for DD4.. they are so incredibly slow it is infuriating! They are posting the prescription out when it is done... which will take them 100 years no doubt!

I want a day off!! Why can I not have 1 week of nice and simple, uneventful and boring... I'd love it!!! I wouldn't find it in the least bit dull..

pigpen

OH! That was a little epic.. sorry

AND...

dd5 decided she was going to be first dressed in the morning.. the little towrag had her school uniform still on under her pj's.. good job I'm not as daft as I look!

SusanC_2

pigpen wrote: »

Would anyone like to swap lives for a bit?

I'm extremely tempted.

pigpen

SusanC wrote: »

I'm extremely tempted.

((((hugs))))

I gave up saying 'it can't get worse' because whenever I say it does. .. I now say.. 'it gets easier to live with'