Flaming Ex - why do i bother?!

charlearose

my stepsons used to stay over when they were little ( they are 19 and 17now ) but when they were little we used to put a big duvet on the bedroom floor of my sons room and then they had sleeping bags which we let them choose and buy - all three of them would sleep on the floor by the end of the night
it wasnt practical to buy another bed or bunkbeds for them as they only stayed a few nights a month but we made it fun for them
even if they stay over now they still sleep on the floor in my sons room with duvets on the floor and a quilt each
they dont appear to hate me or there dad or step brother

BARGAINHUNTER!

With those high up beds with a slide you can remove the slide, whch should mean there is more floor space. There will then be plenty of space under the bed to have a mattress or blow up bed with either your daughter or both of the children can sleep on. I can understand you not wanting your daughter to sleep on the high up bed if she is likely to roll out. The children would probably prefer to both sleep under the bed - make it a bit of an adventure for them. You can also get fold up chair beds which might be suitable, but no, the OP should not be expected to provide her daughters bedding. Perhaps Op could suggest to her ex a mattress under the bed?

Person_one

charlearose wrote: »

my stepsons used to stay over when they were little ( they are 19 and 17now ) but when they were little we used to put a big duvet on the bedroom floor of my sons room and then they had sleeping bags which we let them choose and buy - all three of them would sleep on the floor by the end of the night
it wasnt practical to buy another bed or bunkbeds for them as they only stayed a few nights a month but we made it fun for them
even if they stay over now they still sleep on the floor in my sons room with duvets on the floor and a quilt each
they dont appear to hate me or there dad or step brother

But did you have another child in the house sleeping on a real bed?

Would you have ever considered buying a bed for one of the boys and letting the other two carry on sleeping on the floor?

Skintslimmer

Doesn't it all depend on how the DD views it?

She might see it as unfair and feel bad about being the unwanted one.

She might see it as a treat to go on a sleepover and an exciting change

She might not have any views on it either way.

Try to find out what the child thinks, stuff the adults.

MrsE_2

Person_one wrote: »

But did you have another child in the house sleeping on a real bed?

Would you have ever considered buying a bed for one of the boys and letting the other two carry on sleeping on the floor?

charlearose wrote: »

my stepsons used to stay over when they were little ( they are 19 and 17now ) but when they were little we used to put a big duvet on the bedroom floor of my sons room and then they had sleeping bags which we let them choose and buy - all three of them would sleep on the floor by the end of the night
it wasnt practical to buy another bed or bunkbeds for them as they only stayed a few nights a month but we made it fun for them
even if they stay over now they still sleep on the floor in my sons room with duvets on the floor and a quilt each
they dont appear to hate me or there dad or step brother

The two step sons slept on the bedroom floor of her son, so yes & yes.

I really don't see the problem here, if this child were to stay at her cousins or grandparents sometimes & had to bunk down no one would say a thing. When people camp they sleep in bags on the floor. Many many cultures sleep in sleeping bag type arrangements on the floor & as for the person who came out with this tosh............

pupsicola wrote: »

I wouldn't let a dog stay in my house if I couldn't give it a bed. Let alone a 3 year old child. Tell the man to get lost and to take you to court. As someone else said if he wont pay out for a bed so his kid can sleep in comfort he wont want to be landed with court costs. If it went to court they would not be impressed by the level of care he is suggesting giving your daughter.

Jesus I though my ex was a muppet but yours takes some beating.

For gods sake how OTT:eek:

Jinx

In my opinion a 3 year old sees actions rather than hearing any words. So she visits her daddy and she sleeps on the floor on a temporary solution while her sister has a fabulous bed with a slide....

I wouldnt have considered this for my daughter who was the same age when her dad and I split. Not a chance. Both girls deserve the same consideration and lots of people have suggested workable solutions.

rachbc

Of course she needs a bed - occassional nights at friends or grandparents are different - my son only stays at his dads 'a few nights a month' - but thats 2 nights every other week and that is regular contact. I expect him to have his own bed and would not let him go if I found out he didn't have one. His extended step family came to stay for along period last year and he was turfed out into a sleeping bag for a couple of visists which is find but not week in week out

faded_flowers

From personal experience, inflatable beds are bloody uncomfortable and cold ( I always try and bag the couch at that friends' house )

If space is the issue, could they not have a sofa-bed in the front room? Surely they use a sofa?

Gavin83

I find it quite unreasonable that people seem to think she should have a proper bed for only a few nights a month, maybe if the father had more access it would be acceptable but otherwise a fold down bed would be suitable.

I'd be interested to see what a court would say on this, I'd be surprised if they didn't allow overnight access without a proper bed though. Would he actually go to court if you denied him overnight access?

LilacPixie

I have looked at those slide beds for DD1 and TBH they are not suitable for a 3 year old who still has a tendancy to roll out the bed as the sleeping area is about 5ft off the ground. Topping and tailing is probably not a good option. Also these beds take up a huge amount of space so possibly there just is not enough room for another bed in that room.

TBH I would have many concerns that the dad was not providing a bed for her or even a oh we havent sorted the logisticss yet so she will share with me tonight or something