Flaming Ex - why do i bother?!

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Well I've told ex that inflatable is fine as a temp measure but would like a more perm solution. Apprently that's "unreasonable as there is no room for another bed" he did say he had a single mattress (why dd can't sleep on that tonight I dunno!) So have told him he could look at fold up beds and get a side to go on it (I've seen the fold up beds, I know they're around but not looked properly and sides are in argos etc)

GF has been on FB (evil thin) bleating how 2011 is THEIR year (have him m'darling, no one else is daft enough) and the bed situation has caused upset here (I'm upset, missing DD, feeling awful for letting her go but she wanted to) and OH doesn't understand why I'm quiet and sad. Only thing ex is regular with is maintainence, am tempted to tell him where to shove it tbh.

I swear he does things just to annoy me, I'd never ever stop him seeing DD as he's her dad but there's times I wish he'd just go away.

DD is meant to be back at 1pm tomorrow, ex thinks me and OH are out tonight (we weren't, never planned to) so will see if he brings her home on time

jak

Personally, I am horrified that anyone should suggest that this poor child should sleep on the floor. Is her name Cinderella??? Obviously there are issues with the GF daughter- she also shouldn't feel pushed out, it is her home, but still! I think the Dad must make room for his daughter.
If it was me and my ex (i'm a single parent) I would let him take me to court if necessary. In the meantime I would contact the family court and ask for mediation to sort things out- they are fab- is is cafcaf? Not sure what they're called but the cit advice will tell you. They have the child's best interest at heart so are impartial.
This could be a potentially phychologically damaging situation and as a result needs to be taken very seriously, in my opinion.
Good luck and let us know how you get on!
XXX

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Delain - I've never said she should get rid of the bed, its nice the little girl has it, but ex promised me that our DD would have a bed, and she hasn't. If they haven't got room then he shouldn't of demanded DD or he should, like you say, make room. But he isn't - he's making MY dd sleep on the floor which isn't right imho. BOTH girls should have a bed, not just 1.

jak

I could not agree more!!! You are completely right! Any mother would want that for her child.

Sid_Wolf

Sorry but I wouldnt let a kid stay without a proper bed

I was an only child until mum met my step dad, they chucked out my old single bed and bought bunk beds before she came to stay for the 1st time

We had those bunk beds until she moved away with her mum and step dad to the US

When she came over a few years ago we topped and tailed, and if she pis*ed me off I got out, got the spare duvet and slept on the floor, I wouldnt have let a guest kip on my floor, even tho shes my sis she was still a guest in our house

pupsicola

I wouldn't let a dog stay in my house if I couldn't give it a bed. Let alone a 3 year old child. Tell the man to get lost and to take you to court. As someone else said if he wont pay out for a bed so his kid can sleep in comfort he wont want to be landed with court costs. If it went to court they would not be impressed by the level of care he is suggesting giving your daughter.

Jesus I though my ex was a muppet but yours takes some beating.

MrsE_2

My DHs children have stayed at ours on blow up beds.
My DH has a blow up bed for himself he bought incase the weather (snow) stops him getting home (or makes it harder).
Wouldn't a blow up bed be ideal for a person who sleeps over a couple of times a month where space is an issue?
Usually houses barely meet the needs of the people living there & it isn't always possible to just put an extra bed in, especially if the child has a box room.
It is the little girls room when all is said & done & she shouldn't have to have another permanent bed put in there. This little girl has her own special room & bed, the girlfriends little girl is entitled to the same.

pupsicola

shellsuit wrote: »

Both girls go top to tail.

Dad gets on the floor with his daughter.

Dad sleeps downstairs on sofas with his daughter.

Dad sleeps in the bed with his daughter and his GF sleeps with her daughter.

There are loads of options!


This child is only 3 years old, she shouldn't have to sleep on the floor in her Fathers house while he, his GF and her child all have beds !!!!!!!

If they all slept on the floor fine, but they are all comfy in bed and she is on the floor? No, that's bang out of order.

Exactly what message is it giving that poor little girl

balletshoes

mommyme wrote: »

Obviously some of you will remember problems im having with ex. He's moved in with new GF and her DD and she didnt like my DD and wouldnt have her around,

Well its kinda changed. DD goes to their house for a few hours on a sunday, Ex now wants for more access so DD is supposed to be staying over night. Just found out that whilst New GF's DD has this fan dabby dosy bed with a slide etc attached to it, they dont have room for anything for DD to sleep on and want her to sleep on the floor. Am not happy.

Ex promised me he was going to get a camp bed with sides for DD (She still rolls out of bed) and now he is saying he cant.

Is there anything i can do? He said that he isnt going to get a bed etc as DD will only stay a few nights a month and that he'll go through court (surley they wont allow her to sleep on the fricking floor?)

DD is 3 btw

Honestly dont know why i flaming bother with him - He turned up over the limit other week demanding to take her (no, didnt let him)

UGH!

can you not buy or borrow a readybed or a cot mattress and lend it to your ex when your DD stays over? its a great investment for the future when your little one is older and has sleepovers etc (my niece is 10 and can still sleep over at our house on a cotbed mattress with duvet over it).

balletshoes

celinepatricia wrote: »

I think if dad really wants to see his daughter he should provife the bed himself. Could the 2 children not top and tail in the bed that is already there?

yep, agree with this too, my daughter and niece used to do this all the time when staying over at each others houses, until they were 5 or 6 years old.