Flaming Ex - why do i bother?!

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Yes - promise. Got a few solicitors numbers, I'm assuming they're shut tmoz but will call tuesday. OH says to let ex have his day in court. Ex says I can't prove anything and it'll be my word again theirs. Will ask for address again but doubt I'll get it, he's meant to pick DD up on sunday so will wait and see if he turns up and if I get the address

shellsuit

mommyme wrote: »

Originally I was told I wasn't to know address in case I went round (I wouldn't, am daft but not THAT daft)

And you were OK with that?!

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Sorry, difficult to reply properly as on phone and by time I've replied I've missed 3 further posts)

shellsuit

mommyme wrote: »

Yes - promise. Got a few solicitors numbers, I'm assuming they're shut tmoz but will call tuesday. OH says to let ex have his day in court. Ex says I can't prove anything and it'll be my word again theirs. Will ask for address again but doubt I'll get it, he's meant to pick DD up on sunday so will wait and see if he turns up and if I get the address

Surely you'll ask again for the address before Sunday and if he won't tell you, you'll tell him not to bother turning up to pick up your daughter?!

If you don't say anything and he does come for her, but won't tell you the address, then what? You cause a scene in front of the little one?

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Not ok with not knowing, but didn't think I could demand it. Thought I'd be told "she's with her dad" and that'd be it

pupsicola

MrsE wrote: »

& as for the person who came out with this tosh............



For gods sake how OTT:eek:

At least in my post I managed to stay polite, something you seem incapable of

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Gonna ask for addy tomorrow but doubt he'll give it me, if not then obv he won't take her, he'll probably turn up sunday so I'll get her out house (mum lives close) so she doesn't see him

shellsuit

mommyme wrote: »

Not ok with not knowing, but didn't think I could demand it. Thought I'd be told "she's with her dad" and that'd be it

Of course you can demand it! She is your responsibility, she lives with you and you need to know where she is at all times even if she is going off with her Dad.

You should both have each others addresses and a contact number or 2.

mommyme wrote: »

Gonna ask for addy tomorrow but doubt he'll give it me, if not then obv he won't take her, he'll probably turn up sunday so I'll get her out house (mum lives close) so she doesn't see him

Why would he turn up on Sunday? If you ask for the address tomorrow and he won't give it to you, just tell him not to bother calling to pick the little one because you won't be letting her go.

If he still says he will turn up, just ignore the door or go out for the time he normally calls.

He'll soon get the message and he sounds the type to not even bother with court, he's just trying to pish you off and upset you.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

They will be closed, but you should be ready to make the calls first thing Tuesday morning. You don't have to tell him you are seeing a solicitor (and if you don't like the first one you see, by all means see another). The first time he needs know about it is when you are ready to put an end to this abuse.

Oh and if he doesn't have an address, it would be pretty hard for him to engage a solicitor anyway, so you'll at least find out where he claims to be....

I'm not saying it will be a doddle, family proceedings are by their very nature unpleasant because reasonable communication is not possible between the parties, but he's, by your account, a pr1k and will be slapped down by a good solicitor and judge. And you will feel a million times better just because you have done it for yourself and your little one.

angelsmomma

Just my twopennys worth. This happened to me and ds.

My ex would not give me contact details for his girlfriends house that he was living in and as someone on here said imagine telling the police you did not know where your child was if he didn't bring her back.

I stopped access and he sent a solicitors letter telling me I had to let him have ds by law. I just told his solicitor I had no intention of letting my ds go somewhere I did not know and as I did not know the girlfriend I wanted assurances that she was a suitable person to have unsupervised access to my ds. I then waited for the court to decide.

It really put a different perspective on the issue and ex went from spouting about knowing his rights to working with me through the courts. It was two court cases and nearly a year before he eventually had ds overnight and by then I was happy for him to have him. It gave ds time to build a relationship with his dads gf and her dd without the pressure of overnight stays.

We are all content with things now ds is happy and that is all I am concerned about.