Teenagers stealing food

robpw2

i for one think its a shame that your son is stealing food , i believe in respect and you do not take without asking , he should realise that you have worked hard to earn the money for that food and it is not acceptable to take without asking.
I would talk to him and suggest if he would like these things then he needs to earn them , or pay for them himself maybe get him to do the shopping for you one week to see how much things really cost and then maybe he may appreciate things a little more

Breast_Cancer_Survivor

I have 2 teenage sons 14 & 16 who eat me out of house & home so know how you feel. :eek:

I am careful what I leave on show eg. a multi pack of crisps would be gone in a couple of days as rather than make themselves some toast or cereals they will just eat pack after pack of crisps out of sheer laziness so i tend to hide them now.

I wouldn't class it as stealing although I frequently tell them that they are being selfish by eating things without any thought for anyone else having anything.

courteener

In my house we can have toast, eat fruit, have cereal, or make a sandwich without asking, as long as it's not too close to mealtimes, but anything else we have to check with mum or dad, especially with things that might be ingredients for meals.

I couldn't tell if the boy's just being selfish and bratty or if there's something going on with him.

What does he say when he's told off?

determined_new_ms

wow this thread has stirred up a lot of contraversey! Ok I have 2 teenagers and food is an ongoing issue. I have dealt with it in different ways firstly there was a point where I couldn't get either of them to be respectful of the treats (horrible rebelious times) so I didn't bulk buy these items and instead bought ingredients that I knew they could make quick & easy snacks - toasties, cereal they liked, pancake stuff etc. Now my son is 18 and still eats everything (dd no longer lives at home) so we recently had a discussion about how we could work this so it does't cause lots of friction (I got tired of feeling frustrated and the arguement over something so petty and realised it was upsetting for him also) and have agreed when I go shopping I buy a certain amount on things that are for him to consume as he likes, there are certain things that are for all of us so he has a 3rd of those (i.e. a tub of ice cream etc) and then there are things I buy that are to make something and it is made clear to him I have bought that ingredient to cook something with so he should leave it alone. So far it has worked and also some things aren't worth being upset over - its frustrating yes but there are far more important issues that have to be dealt with with teenagers and stand your ground so the small stuff isn't worth arguing over. As a parent with teenagers (and we had it pretty rough over the teen years) its worth getting enough perspective to choose your battles. I hope that helps x

LilacLouisa

Fang wrote: »

I think your sons eating 'your' food is the least of their problems. Their parents being controlling psychopaths (Layman's diagnosis) might be a slightly bigger problem.

You really need to get a grip, as does your "I'll remove their internet access for a year" husband. Obviously neither of you are playing with a full deck, but you should remember one thing - the children you're so eager to criminalize are the ones that will be choosing your care home. So be very, very careful.

Sorry, I know it's bad of me, but that made me laugh.

DVardysShadow

Fang wrote: »

I think your sons eating 'your' food is the least of their problems. Their parents being controlling psychopaths (Layman's diagnosis) might be a slightly bigger problem.

You really need to get a grip, as does your "I'll remove their internet access for a year" husband. Obviously neither of you are playing with a full deck, but you should remember one thing - the children you're so eager to criminalize are the ones that will be choosing your care home. So be very, very careful.

I have to agree with the above. Raksha, I am speculating a bit, but it sounds like the kids take no notice of you, not one little bit, because you and your OH threaten totally stupid sanctions which they know you will never carry out.

ceridwen wrote: »

PLEASE stop referring to your own children taking food from the cupboards as stealing. It really is making me wince - to hear a mother describing her own children as thieves for taking food from the kitchen.

This is NOT our way. Possibly you have come from a different cultural context - thus there will be a few people on here who will still agree with you referring to it this way. But to the vast majority of us it really does sound....welll....OH DEAR:eek: and we simply wont agree with you that its stealing - because we know it ISNT.

I would agree, it is not stealing. But it is not right either - the crime is at a higher level, along the lines of 'interfering with the management of the household'.

You need to take on board this suggestion

Barneysmom wrote: »

I really can't believe this thread at all.

Nuts and cranberries, dried fruit, fresh fruit should all be freely available, there should be no restrictions on them..

Raksha, I think this is possibly the tip of an iceberg. I would agree that they cannot have free rein. But there is so much wrong here, in that it seems you don't allow enough scope in the first place, you categorise it so bluntly as stealing and your OH is threatening totally unrealistic sanctions. I don't know whether this goes deeper than the food, but I think you need to have a big rethink over how you manage this.

money_saving_diva

Raksha wrote: »

OK, OK, I'm doing it all wrong - Social Services will be beating a path to my door and taking my kids away.......

You asked for advice and people are kindly giving it to you. No one is saying social services should be called! They are only eating biscuits out of your cupboards!! I can't believe how serious this thread has got.


BTW - who said he was 13??

the son mentioned in the linked post was 13.

As I asked in my previous thread - are your sons involved in helping you with the shopping? I really think this would make a difference and it would be easy to involve them.

specsappeal

I am the mother of two teenage boys (17 & 15). I found that when they are going through a growth spurt they seem to be hungary ALL the time. It's just something we live with - if they are hungry then they are hungry, they can't help it. I don't lock food away but if there is something i want to use for another purpose i do tell them and if they want it they will ask first. I understand how the op feels though as it costs a blooming fortune and used to drive me nuts but I think it's just part and parcel of having sons (i also have a daughter and the differences are noticeable).

seven-day-weekend

If I buy anything I do not want anyone else to eat, I just say to them, 'Don't eat this' and they don't. Problem over.

However, adolescent boys have huge appetites, they are growing quickly and need a lot of food, so the boy may actually be hungry.

Have you tried putting out things he CAN help himself to if he is hungry?

thorsoak

It has been my experience that one chooses the battles one has with one's teenage children very carefully ..... some battles are just never winnable - and in my experience, battling over teenage boys, their "need" for food 24/7 and policing the food cupboards come in this category. You need a completely different strategy - unless you are prepared for WWIII/Armegeddon to descend upon your home and stay until the youngest has grown up.

So after years of battling, I devised different approaches.

1. I only bought "luxuries" as and when we were going to have them!
2. If I was stocking up for Christmas/Easter/birthdays, that stash stayed locked in the boot of my car - or in a freezer that I shared with a friend - in HER garage (and locked of course - she too had teenage sons!)
3. Fruit was available all the time - ie each week I would buy 12 apples/oranges/bananas as a staple - and would replace as they were eaten. Ditto cereals such as cornflakes 7 rice crispies. NO sugar puffs/fancy muesli/honey puffs etc. Same with bread, peanut butter, marmite & jam. Always eggs and cheese in the fridge. Provided they cleared away after them, did not put empty containers back in the fridge/cupboard this was never an issue - but they had to write on the fridge when such a staple was running out - otherwise it would not be replaced.

I did not buy crisps/snacks on a regular basis - these would be bought if I thought it would be nice to have a popcorn/crisps/choccie bikkie snack one evening - otherwise, they just were not in the cupboard.

No-one felt deprived this way - there were no more horrible trials "which so and so finished all the ....." - and sometimes I'd come home and find that someone might have made scones or cupcakes or the like - again - because they felt that we might like a snack/treat.

Take food out of the firing line - there are enough battles to fight with teenagers