Teenagers stealing food

MrsE_2

poet123 wrote: »

Harsh to call it stealing imo. My fridge door is never shut with 5 men in the house, but they do ask about certain items, but mainly those which could be a planned meal. They eat fruit, buscuits, nuts etc as they please.

Maybe the OP should create an ingredients tin, where she puts anything ear-marked for baking into.

But to say children getting some nuts or dried fruit is stealing:eek:

PolishBigSpender

MrsE wrote: »

But to say children getting some nuts or dried fruit is stealing:eek:

Crazy, isn't it? I did a little bit of work involving British children and healthy eating promotions - and I know what a struggle it is to get children to actually eat properly! It strikes me that by kicking up a fuss about eating "healthy" ingredients - all the good work done by schools can be lost.

dora37

Ours are allowed breadsticks & fruit (or toast in the evening) if they are hungry inbetween 3 meals a day, otherwise they need to ask - as they have been brought up with respect (which goes both ways), it has worked well and more importantly hopefully without any 'food issues' when they are older.

I would seriously question my parenting skills if I had to lock away food to resolve the issue.

PolishBigSpender

Now I think of it, even at my parents' house (they live in another city now) when me and my fiance come to visit, we can just help ourselves to whatever we want. We are a family after all, the closest group of people there is, shouldn't it be all informal? I can't imagine having to ask every time I'd like to eat something!

Doom_and_Gloom

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

Now I think of it, even at my parents' house (they live in another city now) when me and my fiance come to visit, we can just help ourselves to whatever we want. We are a family after all, the closest group of people there is, shouldn't it be all informal? I can't imagine having to ask every time I'd like to eat something!

When my partner and I visit my parents we always ask if we can have something first just as we did when we lived there and what I did when I was growing up. It shows manners to be honest. It's not a formal act; it is respectful. I can't imagine not asking to be honest it seems really disrespectful and I know what I am going to put next will most likely be controversial but I think to take food without permission shows lack of 'class'. I was talking about this with my partner last night and he agrees that it is something that shows a lack of manners and all that goes with that.

shellsuit

Doom_and_Gloom wrote: »

When my partner and I visit my parents we always ask if we can have something first just as we did when we lived there and what I did when I was growing up. It shows manners to be honest. It's not a formal act; it is respectful. I can't imagine not asking to be honest it seems really disrespectful and I know what I am going to put next will most likely be controversial but I think to take food without permission shows lack of 'class'. I was talking about this with my partner last night and he agrees that it is something that shows a lack of manners and all that goes with that.

I don't mind asking for a drink in someones house, but I'd never ask for food even if I was at my Mums or my Dads and I've never just go to the fridge or cupboard and helped myself in anyones house unless they have offered something first.

My Mums been here in the past and said "ooh what nibbles have you got?" then looked in the fridge and cupboard, but I think that's really rude because I wouldn't dream of doing it in her house.

I don't mind that people feel so comfortable here that they can do things like that, but I wouldn't do it to them so why do they do it to me?!

Another bugbear of mine, are people who expect you to look after yourselves in their home, but when they come to yours, they expect to be waited on.

Drives me nuts! :mad:

seven-day-weekend

I would not expect anyone, even my son aged 30, to come into my house, open my fridge and help themselves to my food without asking.

OK, with my son it might be a case of 'do you mind if I eat this pizza' but he wouldn't take it without asking. Nor would I with his food.

poet123

Doom_and_Gloom wrote: »

When my partner and I visit my parents we always ask if we can have something first just as we did when we lived there and what I did when I was growing up. It shows manners to be honest. It's not a formal act; it is respectful. I can't imagine not asking to be honest it seems really disrespectful and I know what I am going to put next will most likely be controversial but I think to take food without permission shows lack of 'class'. I was talking about this with my partner last night and he agrees that it is something that shows a lack of manners and all that goes with that.

I think it all depnds on what the item is. In our house all food is communal. However, if there is meat or chicken in the fridge and the kids are making their own Dinner then they would ask if I had any plans for xyz rather than just make a meal for themselves for it.

With regard to fruit and biscuits and other snack items they are there for anyone and everyone who lives here. It is the norm and accepted practice for us, just as it was when I was growing up.

I don't think it is a class indicator, nor does it show a lack of respect, more a sign of familiarity and being comfortable within a family unit. None of us would do this outside our own home, nor would I expect a visitor to help themselves.

To use the word stealing within the context of a family unit and with regard to food horrifies me actually.

I suspect it is a reaction to underlying financial worries.

BitterAndTwisted

Different people have different rules and standards. I would never have helped myself to food in my mother's house after I'd left home and wouldn't dream of helping myself at either of my sister's homes. I think it's just bloody rude.

The issue for the OP is that she has already asked her sons not to help themselves to certain items, which I find entirely reasonable. One child has not complied and knows he's not supposed to touch them, has been caught nipping into the house to fill up his school-bag when he wasn't expected to be home and therefore I do call that stealing. What else would you call it?

I don't think there's any evidence in any of Raksha's posts to suggest that she's looking to deprive her kids of treats. She just wants to deprive them of certain ones to offer them at a time of her choosing.

barbie_babe

I think you may need to look at what they are eating for thier three main meals. I have teenagers and had a problem with older two feeling hungry all the time. So I cut down sugary and salty snacks likes cakes choclate and crisps.
I dont buy main of these any more and if the are hungry between meals they have fruit they can help themselves to or yourguts.(freely never need to ask)

Breakfast i changed from sugary cearl to porriage or weetabix. After this they can have toast.
Lunch sandwiches or soups or beans on toast or egg on toast. With muller rice to follow.(very filling). If at school they buy a meal.(they tend to buy more pasta meals)
Tea homemade food currys, pasta, roasts stuff like that hardly ever chips and NEVER stuff like chicken nuggets or fish fingers.
Pudding would be something sweet and a treat. Such as apple pie and icecream cake (only as a pudding not as a snack.)
seems to be working with me at the moment.
We had a birthday at home this week and bought crisps they had a packet each on the day of the party but have loads left in cupboard as they dont really miss them as they dont fill them up.