Teenagers stealing food

ash28

specsappeal wrote: »

I am the mother of two teenage boys (17 & 15). I found that when they are going through a growth spurt they seem to be hungary ALL the time. It's just something we live with - if they are hungry then they are hungry, they can't help it. I don't lock food away but if there is something i want to use for another purpose i do tell them and if they want it they will ask first. I understand how the op feels though as it costs a blooming fortune and used to drive me nuts but I think it's just part and parcel of having sons (i also have a daughter and the differences are noticeable).

Got to agree there - when my son was an adolescent at times there was no filling him - our daughters were never like that,. I remember him getting porridge for his breakfast in a mixing bowl! If he had toast it wasn't a couple of slices - it was a half a loaf. You've brought it all back - he's 30 - and it cost a fortune. It was bread - a loaf a day wasn't enough - he must have eaten one one by himself - but the thing that really used to annoy me was the milk - I'd go out to work and there would be a full 4 pints and I'd come in and there would be none. No one had drunk though. He's not like that now and if even if he was someone else has the pleasure.

We didn't lock food away either and like you - if I asked them not to touch something because I wanted it for something - they didn't (except the milk). And tbh by the time they were in their teens they pretty much knew what they could and couldn't take without asking.

ash28

thorsoak wrote: »

It has been my experience that one chooses the battles one has with one's teenage children very carefully ..... some battles are just never winnable - and in my experience, battling over teenage boys, their "need" for food 24/7 and policing the food cupboards come in this category. You need a completely different strategy - unless you are prepared for WWIII/Armegeddon to descend upon your home and stay until the youngest has grown up.

So after years of battling, I devised different approaches.

1. I only bought "luxuries" as and when we were going to have them!
2. If I was stocking up for Christmas/Easter/birthdays, that stash stayed locked in the boot of my car - or in a freezer that I shared with a friend - in HER garage (and locked of course - she too had teenage sons!)
3. Fruit was available all the time - ie each week I would buy 12 apples/oranges/bananas as a staple - and would replace as they were eaten. Ditto cereals such as cornflakes 7 rice crispies. NO sugar puffs/fancy muesli/honey puffs etc. Same with bread, peanut butter, marmite & jam. Always eggs and cheese in the fridge. Provided they cleared away after them, did not put empty containers back in the fridge/cupboard this was never an issue - but they had to write on the fridge when such a staple was running out - otherwise it would not be replaced.

I did not buy crisps/snacks on a regular basis - these would be bought if I thought it would be nice to have a popcorn/crisps/choccie bikkie snack one evening - otherwise, they just were not in the cupboard.

No-one felt deprived this way - there were no more horrible trials "which so and so finished all the ....." - and sometimes I'd come home and find that someone might have made scones or cupcakes or the like - again - because they felt that we might like a snack/treat.

Take food out of the firing line - there are enough battles to fight with teenagers

Gosh this is bringing back memories - we used to put Xmas stuff in our caravan.

I did used to buy crisps and snacks every week - but once they were gone they were gone - crisps were easy - one liked cheese and onion, one lik plain and the other liked chicken flavoured - so one small pack of each - if they ate them all in one day that was fine - there none for the rest of the week.

I used to work for a major confectionary manufacturer and used to bring stuff from work every week - the same prnciple applied - when it was gone it was gone.

We were a very popular stopping off place for their friends on their way home from school!

Oldernotwiser

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

He's selling them

Which could mean that there's a drugs connection.

ontheroad_2

determined_new_ms wrote: »

wow this thread has stirred up a lot of contraversey! Ok I have 2 teenagers and food is an ongoing issue. I have dealt with it in different ways firstly there was a point where I couldn't get either of them to be respectful of the treats (horrible rebelious times) so I didn't bulk buy these items and instead bought ingredients that I knew they could make quick & easy snacks - toasties, cereal they liked, pancake stuff etc. Now my son is 18 and still eats everything (dd no longer lives at home) so we recently had a discussion about how we could work this so it does't cause lots of friction (I got tired of feeling frustrated and the arguement over something so petty and realised it was upsetting for him also) and have agreed when I go shopping I buy a certain amount on things that are for him to consume as he likes, there are certain things that are for all of us so he has a 3rd of those (i.e. a tub of ice cream etc) and then there are things I buy that are to make something and it is made clear to him I have bought that ingredient to cook something with so he should leave it alone. So far it has worked and also some things aren't worth being upset over - its frustrating yes but there are far more important issues that have to be dealt with with teenagers and stand your ground so the small stuff isn't worth arguing over. As a parent with teenagers (and we had it pretty rough over the teen years) its worth getting enough perspective to choose your battles. I hope that helps x

that has to be the most sensible post i've seen on this thread, thank you .

DVardysShadow

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Which could mean that there's a drugs connection.

Hmm! There are enough other clues, now you mention it, that this has to be taken seriously as a possibility.

But rushing in with the 'stop your internet for a year' mentality will do more harm than good.

JodyBPM

Whilst I'm not sure I'd use the emotive term "stealing" I do think its naughty for children to take food that they've been asked not to eat.

Are you clear enough about what they can and can't eat? I'd have a snack box for them, and say that it has to last them a week/month (whatever periods you do your shopping in) and when its gone, its gone. As long as you were putting an appropriate amount in that box, then I'd simply say they weren't allowed anything else. If they took anything else they would be punished, because its pure disobedience. I don't understand how they keep doing it, if my children did something I'd asked them not to once, they'd be punished. There wouldn't be a second time. Surely its the same simple discipline that you use with toddlers - tell that that they are not allowed to and why, and what the consequence will be - if they still do it, then carry out the consequence and they take you seriously and don't do it again! If you just moan about it, but don't have any consequences, they will keep doing it!

Tulip09

I was brought up in a household where snacks or extra food was not allowed unless you were the parent. I had to endure seeing the chocolate bar in the fridge that they would take a square from etc and not be allowed to touch it myself. (Food got stolen all the time aswell as money to buy snacks & constant battles & punishments dished out)

My house now has three young teens in it as well as their various friends who all help themselves to food/snacks. I have given them there own style cupboard in my utility room, I have a "chololate drawer" (the salad drawer in bottom of fridge) that is filled with cheap snacks/biscuits the first of the month. The crisp box (toy box) filled with various bag of crisps, nuts etc, a drinks fridge full of juice (fizzy & diluting). They have a small freezer area which is topped up with ice cream/ ice poles, frozen cakes. A noodle shelf (cheap versions or super noodles) I set this up initially and then they have an allocated £35 a month in which they all go 'snack shopping' with.

My kids police this area themselves and they know that if they run out mid month etc i will not replace anything in it at all, they will all go without until the end of the month (They have only done this the first month). They have had this system for about 5 months now and it is working for us, some of their friends parents have done the same thing now aswell. If i find wrappers/ cans not in the recycling they will also lose the equal thing to it out of there drawer (gives me a treat occasionally) or if i really fancy something they have got, i have to 'buy' it from them. I will provide all meals/fruit etc for them but this way i find that i save money not buying to much rubbish, they self police, they are learning to make choices, and feel a little more independant and it has stopped some arguments about snacks and whos wrappers/cans it is.

MrsE_2

PasturesNew wrote: »

Absolutely not. Food is for mealtimes and if you want anything else you ask permission on a per-item basis.

I would hate to live in a home where I couldn't help myself.
I wouldn't inflict it on my child or grandchildren either:( (as even after my child had left home I would still like them to feel "at home").

I think its an awful attitude:(

mrcow

I think it's rude for them to eat food like that without at least asking first.

I wouldn't cancel their internet, but I would be giving them £5 and sending them for a walk up to the local shop to replace what they've taken. If it's cold or wet out - more's the better.

They'd also be apologising as I'd be explaining how upset I was feeling.

poet123

Harsh to call it stealing imo. My fridge door is never shut with 5 men in the house, but they do ask about certain items, but mainly those which could be a planned meal. They eat fruit, biscuits, nuts etc as they please.